Page 7 of Love Me in the Dark
And I know what it is when he moves a little and the hardness between us presses against my stomach.
It’s enough to make an idea come to life in my head. Maybe… if I’m not… if I can get him to…
“Will you take my virginity?”
He pushes himself up on his palms, his eyes flying open wide. “What?”
“Please.” I tug at his arms and shoulders, and even in my panic, I can’t help but notice the firm muscles underneath the stiff, scratchy fabric of his shirt. The basic uniform the men wear around here. Now I can almost see why. They want to cover us up, so there’s less chance of noticing each other. They wouldn’t want us to make choices for ourselves and lose control over us.
“We can’t do that.”
“Yes, we can,” I whisper, trembling. He has to; he just has to. Maybe Rebecca won’t want to sell me if I’m not a virgin. I have to try.
Besides… “I don’t want to give it to some guy who bought me,” I choke out. The words are so horrific that they bring tears to my eyes. “I would rather it be somebody I know, at least. Somebody who cares.”
“But we don’t know each other.”
I barely stop short of rolling my eyes. “Elijah. You know what I mean.” I lift my hips a little, enough to brush against his erection, and he closes his eyes while a wave of pleasure washes over his face. He is truly beautiful. I realize that now I can see him clearly, now that we’re so close. His finely chiseled features work like he’s fighting against something. His conscience, his guilt, his fear. Whatever it is, it’s tearing at him.
“I have to go.” When he gets up from the bed, my heart threatens to break.
Sheer desperation makes me cling to him, almost clawing at him. “No, don’t! Please, don’t leave me alone. I can’t be alone.”
His jaw clenches, his nostrils flare, and for a split second, he looks like the Elijah who came to get me out of the cell. Furious and enraged, like he hates me. “What do you want me to do?” he mutters.
“Just stay with me. If you won’t have sex with me, at least stay. There’s no way I’m going to be able to fall asleep alone. That’s all I want. Just don’t force me to be alone.”
He blows out a long sigh before his shoulders drop, and I know I’ve won. “I’m tying you to me.”
“Fine. Whatever you want. Just don’t leave me alone.”
He groans, but that doesn’t stop him from untying one of the ropes attached to the bedframe and using it to bind our ankles together. There’s enough room to turn over if I need to, but not enough to get my foot free.
“Now, try to relax.” He sounds like I’m putting him through torture as he lies down, spooning me. Slowly, he wraps an arm around my waist. I can’t help wishing I could relax and actually enjoy his nearness and warmth. No, my thoughts are racing a million miles an hour instead.
Because he’s still poking me with that thing. He still wants me, no matter how he fights against it. I might be able to get what I need.
The worst thing I can imagine is losing my virginity to a repulsive stranger. I’ve been through a lot, more than I could have imagined when Mom was alive. But I can’t let that happen. I can’t have my only experience be with some pervert who has to pay for it.
“Stop it,” Elijah grunts when I wiggle my ass against him.
“Sorry. I didn’t know I was doing anything. I’m only trying to get comfortable.”
His grunt tells me he doesn’t believe a word of it. “Now, stay still. Don’t make me regret doing this.”
“I won’t.” But even as I say it, I stretch a little, arching my back, driving my ass against him again while groaning softly.
“I said stop.”
“I’m sorry! What do you want me to do? I had to stretch.”
“No. You’re trying to change my mind. Well, you’re not going to. Rebecca knows you’re a virgin. If you’re not a virgin after tonight, she’ll know it was me. I can’t do that.”
The erection probing my ass cheeks says otherwise.
“I only want to be with you,” I whisper, twisting my head around to look into his troubled eyes. “I know I’m not making it easy. But having you here with me like this… it’s the closest to normal I’ve felt since I got here. And kissing you felt real. I just want something that feels real.”
“But we can’t.” There’s not so much conviction in his voice anymore, though. He’s getting weaker with every second.
