But instead of leaving me here, she follows me in and lowers the lid on the toilet to take a seat. “Go on. Get in.”
I don’t know what to say. “You want me to… while you’re watching?”
“I have to make sure you do it right. I can’t take any chances.”
“I don’t understand. Why do you want me to do this?”
“I don’t need to explain myself to you. And if you insist on defying me, there are ways to get you moving.” Her hand dips into the pocket of her dress, and she pulls out what looks like a small flashlight. What is she supposed to do with that?
I get the message when she touches the button on the side, and an electric spark sizzles from the end. A freaking stun gun. She’s that cruel. “Do I need to use this on you?”
“I still don’t understand.” My skin is crawling, and my stomach is churning. I’ve never been so humiliated in my entire life. “Can’t I have a little privacy?”
In a flash, she jumps up and touches the stun gun to the side of my neck. Electricity sizzles through me, and I can’t hold back a shriek that only makes her laugh. “Now. Do as I say.”
I don’t want to, but I don’t want to be shocked again, either.
It’s easier when I’m not looking at her. I can pretend she’s not here as I pull my dress off and turn on the shower. Inside the bag she gave me is soap, shampoo, and lotion. There’s a razor, too. “Shave everything,” Rebecca reminds me. “They’ll want you hairless.”
Elijah is going to save me. Elijah is going to get me out of here.I can’t believe how tightly I have to cling to that as I step under the hot water, wincing when it touches the tender spot where Rebecca zapped me.
Just get it over with.Even though there are tears of shame welling up in my eyes, I hurry through washing up. There’s another tender spot between my legs, but that’s for a very different reason. What would she do if she knew I wasn’t pure, the way she wants me? A twisted part of me wants to tell her, just for the pleasure of watching her explode with rage.
But I would get caught up in that explosion. And so would Elijah.
It’s better to wet the razor and soap up my pussy, instead.
“Need any help in here?” My body tenses in horror at the sound of Henry’s voice. He steps into the room, visible through the clear shower curtain, and I could just die. There’s one brief, bitter moment when I wish they would kill me and get it over with.
I turn my back on him, and both of them laugh. “If anything,” Rebecca tells me, “this is your initiation. You had better get usedto men seeing your body. They’ll be doing a lot more than that, too.”
“A body like that?” Henry grunts, and the obvious desire in that grunt turns my stomach. “You’d better get used to being more than looked at. They’re going to use you up. They’re going to mark that skin and leave you dripping cum from every hole. I wish I could be there to watch it.”
I could throw up here and now just hearing it. We’d see how funny they think it is. It’s better to keep going and try to ignore them. I can’t let them think they’re getting to me, even though my hands are shaking. Not a good idea to try to shave with shaking hands.
Even though it’s the most humiliating thing imaginable, I shave my pussy until it’s smooth, then continue to my legs. It doesn’t take long before I’m finished, but it feels like an eternity until I can turn off the water and take the towel Rebecca hands me.
“When you’re finished drying off,” she says, “you will put this on. Hurry up. We don’t have much more time, and they don’t like to be kept waiting.
“Who are they?”
“What does it matter? Stop stalling. You’re not going to change anything.”
At least she doesn’t argue when I wrap the towel around myself for a little bit of modesty while I comb out my wet hair and pull it back. It feels good having a hot shower after everything that’s happened the past couple of days. I wish I could enjoy it.
My stomach drops when my fingers close around the gauzy material in the bag. At first, I don’t even understand what I’m looking at. It’s completely see-through, white, barely more than a scrap of fabric. “Be glad you’re going to be wearing anything at all,” she informs me.
When I don’t move fast enough to put it on, she pulls out the stun gun again. “Do I need to use this? I would hate to mark you up and lose money. You have no idea how I could punish you for that.”
How can she pretend to care about God? As I pull the baby doll dress over my head, all I can think about is those long, boring sermons she gives. Going on and on about obedience, following God’s plan, and how we are on the right side of history. Doing the Lord’s work and all that.
This is who she’s been all along. The kind of woman who would watch as I degrade myself, all so she can make money. I hate to think about how many girls have been in this position.
I hate to think how many more will be after I’m gone.
With the lingerie comes panties, but they’re not really panties. A bunch of strings holding together a tiny piece of material that barely covers my pussy once I’ve pulled them on. I might as well not be wearing anything at all—my entire body is on display as I stare at my reflection in the full-length mirror.
“Very nice,” she decides with a firm nod, standing behind me. “They should be here any time now. You’ll wait in the bedroom until they arrive, and if you know what’s good for you, you won’t make a sound.”