Page 116 of Love Me in the Dark
“I can’t do that,” was his simple reply.
“Why not?”
Turning away from me, Slade looked out at the water and shook his head. “I haven’t figured it out yet, and I’m not sure I’ll tell you once I figure it out.”
“Why not?” I repeated my question.
“Because you’ll probably run away, and I won’t be able to catch you.”
7
SLADE
“Idon’t understand.” Her voice was quiet, trembling.
“Neither do I.” I answered truthfully because I had no idea what was happening to me or between us. I was ninety-nine percent certain Harley wanted nothing to do with me. She’d pushed me away time and time again except for the few times she didn’t. She tolerated me when we had lunch with each other and let me follow her on her runs but that was about it. Except tonight she sought me out. She rang my doorbell, ate dinner with me, and watched a movie. A movie she promptly fell asleep during, but it didn’t matter.
Her body deflated and I knew I wasn’t going to like what she had to say the second she opened her mouth. “Slade don’t get invested me. You’ve known all along that I’m leaving. Why do this to yourself?”
“The better question is why do this to yourself? I understand there are problems between you and your mom. Ones I know nothing about—” I scooted closer until we were all but touching. “— But why leave when you have someone right here who cares about you?”
Her head was already shaking even as she shifted the smallest fraction closer to me. I didn’t think she even realized it. “You don’t even know me. How can you care?”
“I’ve cared from that very first night.”
“But why?” Her trembling hand reached out, but she quickly dropped it to the sand.
Picking up her tiny hand in mine, it felt cold. I tried to infuse my warmth into her. “It’s not something I can explain. I just do, so accept it.”
A small laugh escaped her. They were few and far between, but I liked hearing the sound. In fact, I wanted more of it. I wanted to hear it every day.
Pressing her forehead to her knees, she spoke words that ravaged my heart. Her hand in mine tightened with each word. “I haven’t always been like this. My dad died almost a year ago. In fact, tomorrow will be the anniversary. It was like someone clicked on or off a switch in my mom. She was never overly caring, but I thought she loved me. That was until my dad died. He was my everything. Hers as well. At first, I didn’t notice so much because I was drowning in grief, but then I started to notice small things that were changing in her.
“At first, she started getting her hair and nails done.” She shrugged as best she could in her position. “No big deal, right? I didn’t realize it was for a man. A man who obviously wasn’t my father. She never tried that hard when he was alive, but she was for someone who wasn’t her husband. She didn’t tell me she was dating. No, I had to figure that out for myself. I realized every night she wasn’t going to business dinners, but dates.”
Turning her head then she looked at me. Even in the dark, I could see her pain. “She’d stopped going to the grocery store and there was no longer food in the fridge or money where we always kept it for tips and late-night pizza.”
Who did that to her own daughter?
Was that why she came by tonight? Had she not had anything to eat since Friday at school?
“Did you come to my house tonight because you were hungry?” It hurt to think it wasn’t to see me, but that was nothing compared to the pain I felt thinking she’d been at home starving for days while me and Payton had been pigging out.
“Yes,” her one word was strangled as it slipped passed her lips.
“Fuck.” I wanted to find her mom and shake some sense in her. How could she do that to her daughter? And the sad part was I knew there was more. Picking her up, I placed her in my lap and held her stiff body in my arms. She needed to feel that there was at least one person in the world who cared for her and wanted what was best for her. Eventually, she relaxed into my hold and laid her head against my chest. “You don’t have to say anything more.” Running one hand down her back, I tried to rein in my emotions. It was hard after learning what I had, but I didn’t it for her. “I wish you would have come over sooner. If I would have known.”
“I didn’t want you to know. Even though I didn’t want to move here, I thought maybe things would be different with Trent, but he doesn’t care either, or maybe he doesn’t know.”
But how couldn’t he.
“I’m sorry.”
“Me too. Now you see why I have to leave. She doesn’t care if I live or die. In fact, her life would probably be easier if I did. Then she’d get the money my dad left me.”
It was insensitive, but I had to ask. Even if I was unsure if she’d tell me. “I know it’s not my place to ask and not that it makes any difference, but I’m trying to understand. Did your dad leave your mom any money?”
Her head popped up and her eyes met mine. It was too dark to see the color of her blue eyes, but the pain I saw shone asbright as the sun. “Some, but I’m sure she blew through it in the first few months.”
