Page 90 of Love Me in the Dark
To be honest I didn’t know what constituted as one time. There were breaks, and he finished a couple of times. I didn’t have a lot of experience. It was one long amazing night.
“Well, that’s boring.”
Boring was the last word I would use.
“At least he’s not a deadbeat.” She muttered and tipped her head back while shaking cookie crumbs from the bag in her open mouth.
I felt bad for Megan. Her baby’s father was her dad’s boss. At least that’s what she claimed this week. Last week it was some guy she met on a train, before that it was her teacher. There was no telling which one, if any, were true. The only thing I did know for sure was that she didn’t want to talk about whoever got her pregnant.
Most of the other girls were the same. There was no point in talking about them, because they couldn’t or wouldn’t do anything to help. My situation wasn’t the same. If I contacted my baby’s father I would get out of here and he’d go to jail.
There was a reason I refused to tell my parents who got me in‘trouble’. Louis Kessler was a powerful man, which was exactly why Mama and Daddy would go after him. He was nineteen and I was seventeen, a big no, no in my state. It wouldn’t matter to anyone that the act happened somewhere else. And that was exactly what my parents would play on. What better way to get sympathy than to present your virtuous daughter as the victim.
As much as I wanted to keep my baby, Louis didn’t deserve that. Christ sake the man didn’t even know my real name. I gave him a fake one when we met, and left before he woke up in the morning. He shouldn’t be punished for my decision.
I looked around at my beautiful prison and sighed. “This really is the only choice.”
“Bullshit.” Megan snorted. “There’s always another option. Know what I do when they tell me to ponder my decisions? I think about how Daddy is sitting in his office working at the same desk his best friend fucked me on.”
I shook my head and snickered. “You’re incorrigible.”
Megan frowned down at the empty bag in her hand. “You know what’s incorrigible, the fact that that fat whore is hiding cookies from the rest of us. We’re trying to grow humans here.”
My hand smoothed across my growing belly. Feeling the little kicks from the other side was all I’d get of my baby. In lessthan two weeks he would become nothing more than a forgotten member of the Davis family.
That was the whole point of this place. To take the unwanted grandchildren of the world and hand them over to someone else. Nine months of carrying a baby, feeling it grow and move, only so someone could make it disappear in five minutes. One signature and it was as if none of it happened. All because our parents were more concerned with their precious reputation than the miracle of life.
But I would never forget him.
That was the silent promise I made when I sat out here under the magnolia trees and imagined what it would be like to hold my son. Would his eyes glitter like mine when he laughed, or would he be more serious like his father? I’d never find out the answers to those question, because as much as I hated my parents for what they were doing, I’d go along with what they wanted.
I always did.
“Do you think anyone knows where we are?”
Megan let out a breath and leaned back against the tree next to me. “Apparently I’m at camp.”
Something similar was probably being said about me. Though my parents would put some spin on it to make themselves look good.Cheyenne was accepted to an advanced academic programor something along those lines. After my brother Robbie was paralyzed in a car accident last year, they had to have one brilliant child.
A distinctive chime rang through the air, signaling that it was time to head back in for‘school’. Though I’d argue that school wasn’t the right word. Most of our classes consisted of bible quotes that reminded us how we’d damned our souls by opening our legs.
“We should go.” I grunted while struggling to get on my feet.
“And listen to another one of Mrs. Gable’s lectures.” Megan crossed her arms. “No thanks.”
That wasn’t a good idea. The last time we decided to piddle around we were both locked up for three days. The only thing worse than being hidden away by your family, was being trapped alone.
I arched a brow down at my friend and said, “Don and Ruben are working today.”
That made her move. Megan pushed herself up with a loud oof.
I couldn’t blame her. Those two names were enough to snap anyone of us to attention. The other orderlies weren’t too bad. A few were even nice. But Don and Ruben… They considered us tainted goods that couldn’t be tainted anymore. So, when they drug you off to the quiet room, you wouldn’t spend that time alone. I’d only had the nauseating experience of those two pawing at me once. Megan however, was a regular.
“Fine.” Megan scowled at the building and reluctantly followed me across the yard. “Let’s get this over with.”
As we made our way past the garden and into the house, I couldn’t help but think about the irony of my Sunday school lessons. Growing up I was taught to look out for the devil’s temptations because he hid behind a mask of beauty and smiles. To my parents that would be the man who put this baby in my belly. To me it was this place with its marble flooring and pretty little ornaments. It looked nice.
A beautiful illusion like Mama’s dinner parties. She’d put on her Sunday finest, lay out her expensive China and walk around pretending she was happy to see everyone. The truth was that Mama hated most of the people that came. But that’s what us girls did. We stuffed our pain and misery down our throat and hid it with a sweet smile. Funny thing was, right now I’d give anything to mingle at one of her parties.
