Page 15 of Enchanted Shadows
“Again, I might have led you to believe it was real, but only to see how you would really act. Now before the real trial, someone like Sam goes into it already knowing she can do it. Someone like Elsie will run just that little bit faster. Like it or not, this was a learning moment. But no, none of that is what I meant.” I crossed my arms and gave her a mocking smile. “That just separated you. As a leader.”
“I don’t want to be a leader,” she snapped back without delay.
“Why the hell not?”
“Look,” she flung her hands out at her sides, “I only wanted to save Viv. She might be a flirt, but she isn’t a bad person. She’s the better leader. Pick her.”
“Why don’tyouwant to lead?”
“I’m not cut out for it,” she had the audacity to tell me.
“Donotlie to me, when I clearly just saw otherwise.” I let out a sigh, dialing back my anger. “Until you tell me the real reason you’re holding back, Zara, I’m going to assume you’re leadership material.”
I spun for the barracks, frustrated she couldn’t embrace what she had walked into so naturally today with the trial.
I was only five steps away when I heard her say quietly, “I stood there while someone got hurt too. Kind of like what happened with you and Wren.”
I spun back to look at her.
She was playing with the chain of her necklace, which she never took off. I assumed it was a family heirloom and meant something to her. She took a shaky breath as if haunted by a memory. “That’s all I feel comfortable sharing, but I’m not cut out for it,” she repeated, “because I don’t deserve it.”
Braid swinging, she headed for the barracks. Wren and Viv were there, waiting for her.
As she brushed past me, I snagged her arm to temporarily stop her, as gently as possible. “I don’t know what happened, but speaking from experience, punishing yourself won’t help.”
She removed my hand from her arm and stomped off toward the barracks without another word.
If Zara wasn’t careful, the hold her past had on her was going to limit her future.
We were one week into this, twelve more to go. I had one woman quit, one injury, and self-confidence issues left and right. I decided I needed to check in with Krew and Jorah tonight and spend a night at the castle.
CHAPTER 6
“Pull your belly button in as far as possible, keep it all tight. Like those damn corsets you ladies sometimes wear, but done with your muscles this time,” I commanded.
It was the second week. We had done some extra running this morning. To the big rock and back, then once more to the big rock, but walked back. We were building up to being able to do the full thing twice. Once I told them it would only improve their times for the real timed trial, the women had fought me less about it.
But today began my new workout regimen for them. Abdominal circuit twice a week, one day of arms and back, one day of legs, and one day of stretching. The abdominals were the link to everything else, so we were all doing the moves together. It wasn’t enough for them to just do the motions, they needed to know where to squeeze and have tension.
I looked to my watch to see the next minute had passed. “Up next,” I modeled, “legs straight in the air, toes pointed, drop them down one at a time, only letting your heel tap the ground before bringing it back up. Keep your lower back on the ground.”
It was the hardest move I was throwing at them. And they were struggling. Viv was doing what she could. She’d been on crutches for the first few days after her sprain but was now able to put a little weight on her ankle.
I hoped she could run by the end of the week.
“Death,” Molly whispered. “This is what death feels like.”
I snickered despite myself. It was hard to keep the mask of the rough and tough general around this bunch. This group had a sense of humor I could relate to.
I had them turn on their sides, an arm underneath them, to do an oblique move with their free arm. After properly modeling it for them, I turned to make sure they were all doing the move. All of them were. All but one.
“Zara, care to join the rest of us in death by abdominals?”
She looked pained as she turned her head one direction then the other, but she did join us.
As soon as we were done with that move, I had them switch to the other side.
Zara was doing the moves but still watching the trees and the road to the barns. Like she was looking for something. Remembering she was afraid of someone, I got up and walked in her direction, standing at her side. “Is there something you would like to tell me?”
