Page 135 of Enchanted Shadows
So many words. There were so many words coming from her mouth, and I was still barely awake. “Can you come back in an hour to berate me?”
“No,” she snapped. “You’re going to talk to me and then I arranged for you to spar with Miles this morning. You are just demented enough that I know having a weapon in your hand will help.”
That only reminded me of having to spar with my own wife in front of her parents. Having to prove myself worthy. Which I had technically done, passed the test, only to tragically fail shortly thereafter.
“Owen,” Jorah said, voice cracking. “We might only be kin bonded, but I canfeelyour pain.”
I did my best to block her entirely through the bond lately, but it still must have been spilling through. She was brewing anotherheir, she surely needed all the sleep she could get right now. “I’m sorry, Jorah.”
“Don’t be sorry.” Her voice went soft. “But just as you never let me suffer alone, I refuse to allow you to.”
“Stubborn ass,” I jested.
“Takes one to know one.”
I let out a long sigh, sitting up a little in bed. Might as well rip the bandage right off. “I fell in love with my wife.”
Her eyes went wide.
“It is entirely real for me. And just as I realized that, I almost got us killed.”
She gave her head a shake. “Those men attacked the two of you.Youdidn’t cause that, Owen.”
“Didn’t I? I was the one who upset her by offering her the crown of Agria. Because I would give her anything she’d ask of me. And then I was the one who asked Keir and Zaire to drop us in that clearing because I was desperate to make amends. And then when we fought back, I was too distracted with trying to push down my magic as she’d asked that I didn’t eventhinkto send it beneath the ground, hidden. Add on top of everything that we didn’t bond because ofme, and that Calix keeps throwing that fact in her face thinking it’s because she wants him, and that grates on my everylastnerve.”
“Owen,” she said gently.
“I can’t think straight, Jorah!” My chest was heaving. “What if Calix is right? And I can’t bear to make mistakes when I know that even the small ones could hurt her. I do not like this feeling at all!”
She reached over and squeezed my wrist. “This is love, Owen. To fear for the piece of your heart outside it. To fear what the other person will do with it.”
“Well, I don’t want it. I want that piece back. So I can set her free. We married so that she could have her freedom here. This was never the plan!”
“Wasn’t it?” she asked gently. “Do you really think Krew and Keir, her brothers, wouldn’t have helped her if you hadn’t stepped in and offered to marry her?”
I considered her words.
“Didn’t you ever wonder why it is that she agreed to it so quickly? Both of you did.”
“She had no choice!”
“Didn’t she? Krew would’ve kicked Calix out of Wylan regardless. None ofusasked it of you. Yes, it was rather effective but not required.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but she wasn’t done.
“If you ask me, you’re running scared, Owen.” I again butted in to defend myself, but she put up a hand to stop me and continued, “This is the first time I have ever seen you like this. I am worried sick about you. Talk to her, Owen.Tell her.”
My voice was rough as I finally got out, “But she deserves to be free.”
“Remember the night Krew tried to kick me out of his Assemblage? He thought the same thing. I just prefer my freedom tucked in and tethered next to him.”
“I can’t dare to hope that high,” I whispered.
“You can,” she encouraged. “Risk it all. You’re Owen Gerald Raikes. If you go down, you go down swinging. What’s the worst that will happen? You will mope around for about a week? Oh wait.”
I swallowed hard. “I loathe how effective your little pep talks are.”
She grinned at me. “I know. Now. Should I find you in this room tomorrow morning, as your queen who is also your best friend and cannot stand when you are being too stubborn for your own good, I will dispatch a team to retrieve you.”
