Page 118 of Enchanted Kingdom
I tried to inhale slowly. “I mean, I do think I’d be lousy at it. But I think that depends on what type of queen you are searching for, Keir. If you are looking for someone to stay locked away and looking pretty, then no, I do not wish to be your queen. But if you are looking for someone to spend your days with trying to make this country better, thenthatis entirely different. So I think it depends on what kind of queen you wish to have. If you want one beside you, or four steps behind you.”
His lips were curling at the corners. “I wish to have the kind who isn’t afraid to roll up her sleeves and go to work with me. The kind that will help me take down my father and then help me rebuild everything he has destroyed.” He held up a hand. “And I know,I knowit might be Krew at the end of the day and not me. But for as horribly as our father has screwed Wylan, I inversely wish to fix it. So whom I choose to help me do that seems like one of the more important decisions I’ll ever make. And not just for me.” He let out a sigh. “This will be the single most important thing that has happened to Wylan in decades, and no one even realizes it yet.”
He was drowning in pressure. Dating all of us but knowing that his decision better be the right one or we were all doomed. I had to ask a question I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer to. “And you doubt my abilities to rule with you? To accomplish those things?”
He laughed. He actually laughed. “No.” He shook his head. “Jorah, dammit now you wound me again. I don’t doubt your abilities at all. I doubt that you wouldchooseit. I want it to be your choice. I don’t want this castle to feel like your personal prison.” He paused. “And if you don’t think you could ever be happy here, then I need to start giving these other women more of a serious look.”
I squinted. “I feel as if you’ve been doing more than looking.”
He cocked his head. “Jorah.”
I cocked mine right back. “Keir.”
He brought me to my feet and led us out toward the path in the forest. “Please just think on it. Maybe don’t answer today but consider if you could ever be happy here. With me.”
Could I? I didn’t rightfully know. And if he was going to be honest with me, I supposed he only deserved that I give him the same in return.
“I can’t answer that now,” I admitted. “I have to sit through seeing you flirt with, and in the case of Delaney, even kiss the other women. Currently, I know you say you care about me, but the facts are that we haven’t even known each other very long.”
I stopped to swallow down some emotion before continuing. “When my father died, I wasn’t sure I could ever love a man again. I told Will that on numerous occasions. I assumed I was broken. That I couldn’t ever feel for a man in my life that completely ever again, so that I wouldn’t ever have to feel that destroyed.” I paused.
In my pause, Keir squeezed my hand lightly, as if urging me to go on.
“With you, when it is just the two of us, I am completely happy. But it is not just the two of us. And because it isn’t, because I know you are dating the others, I won’t allow myself to completely fall for you, Keir. I can’t. Not yet. Not when I’m so afraid that you could crush me.” A tear slipped out of my eye and ran down my cheek. “I feel as if you could do that to me. Could I love you? Could I be happy with you? I’m certain of it. You’d be stuck with a mediocre queen, but she’d chooseyou. She’d choose you every single day.”
He stopped and spun to face me, reaching over to wipe away my tears, before wrapping me in a hug. “I don’t wish to crush you, sweetheart.”
I sniffed loudly. “I know. But you might have to.”
He sighed. “I want to play this stupid game. And end my father’s rule one way or another. And then, at the end of all this, walk away with you and spite them all.”
I wiped at my eyes. “But what will you have to do the longer this thing goes? Will you sleep your way through all of us too?”
He pulled back to look me in the eyes. “Jorah, no.”
I shrugged and fired back with, “You could. You could and no one would say a word. Do you not see how messed up this all is?”
He let out a long breath. “I do. Please know there is very little kissing going on.”
I took a deep breath. “In a perfect world, one without our current king, you and I could be deliriously happy, Keir. I’m just not sure how much I’ll have to endure to get to that point, and if there will even be a piece of my heart left to give to you at the end of this.”
He put a hand on my cheek. “Okay. I hear you.” He closed his eyes. “I will do my best. This heart of yours is worth protecting.” He brushed a gentle kiss to my lips. As he pulled back, he squinted at me, “And let the record stand that I disagree with you. I think you’d be a remarkable queen, Jorah.”
He kissed me once more and then we walked through the forest, content to take in the view and fresh air, the heaviness of our conversation like a fog wrapping between us.
A few minutes later, Keir added, “I’m sorry to be in such a mood today. I didn’t mean to ruin an otherwise beautiful day.”
I shook my head. “I’d rather you be honest. I don’t want your court mask, Keir. I want the bad too.”
He looked me in the eyes. “I want a lot of things, Jorah. But we have to be patient. Krew and I have worked too hard these last years. I have to keep playing the part of the loyal son.”
I feared that meant more time with Aiyana, but I wasn’t feeling brave enough to ask.
I held up a finger and quickly walked over to our dish we left food in for Rafe. Like always, it was empty. Either he, or something else, was eating it.
I stood there a moment and took a deep breath, the woodsy and damp smell putting me at ease.
“You truly like it out here? In the forest?” Keir asked. “Owen told me you did, but until just now I wasn’t sure I believed him. Who could love a dying forest?”
