Page 59 of Splitting Secrets
I have to pause to check myself mentally.
This is a roof over our heads. We have heat, food, blankets...indoor plumbing. It’s far more than any of us had a week ago, and it’s better than we could have hoped for when we were crammed in Raze’s tiny cabin.
“I’ll be okay,” I tell her. When it’s clear she doesn’t believe me, I force a smile. “Seriously, I’ll be fine.”
She leans her shoulder against the door jamb and crosses her arms. “You can always bunk with us if you get lonely.”
Falling onto my new bed, I release a sigh. “Thank you. It means a lot. All your support means so much.”
“We’re in this together,” she says with a tight smile.
I nod my agreement. “That we are. How have you been?”
She puffs her cheeks and blows out a breath that makes the stray hairs floating around her hairline dance across her forehead. The whole thing is sonormal, it feels odd. “It’s hard.All of this is like a bad nightmare, you know? Like, when am I going to finally wake up?”
“I’m sorry I got you wrapped up in all of it,” I mumble as the weight of my guilt threatens to crush my chest.
Ava steps forward, dropping onto the bed beside me. “Hey, don’t do that. None of this is your fault.”
“Isn’t it? I stole the journals and showed them to you. I slept with Raze...” I play with a loose string on the comforter to avoid eye contact with her. We’ve hardly scratched the surface with Raze. There’s so much to tell them, and we’re constantly being thrown from one situation to the next. It doesn’t leave a lot of time for girl talk. “I know you’re mad at me for not telling you about the new gifts.”
“Honestly, your weird relationship with him is probably the only reason we’re alive right now, so I can’t fault you for that. Plus, look at him.” She licks her lips mockingly.
A laugh bubbles out of me, and she smiles.
“I was mad about the gifts because I care about you. I can tell something is changing, and I haven’t been able to figure out what it is until last night. You can’t help who your family is. It seems like regardless of us finding the journals or going into those woods, the Midnight Syndicate was going to come after you when they realized you weren’t Poppy,” she soothes.
I roll my lips between my teeth. “I’m sorry I lied to you about that.”
“I get it. You had no other choice.” She shrugs.
“Why are you being so understanding? You deserve to be angry with me.”
“It’s like Theo and Quinn said: None of those little details matter anymore. I thought they did at the moment, but I’ve realized that this is way bigger than that.” Leaning back onto the bed, she stares up at the ceiling with her hands resting on her stomach. “There’s going to be a time where people reflect on allthe wrongs that are happening right now. They’re going to look at the people who fought against evil and wonder how they were so brave to stand up to higher powers without the guarantee that they would make it out alive. I do it all the time when I’m reading through history books. I wonder what it is that makes those people special when many before them were willing to lie down and take it. Now, I know the truth. There isn’t a choice when it comes to going against evil. Not when you’re truly good.”
“That’s an interesting way to look at it.”
“I think it’s true that God...the universe—whoever it is out there dictating our fates—chooses who it wants to fight the hardest battles. It’s up to us to step up to the task. I want to be one of the names they mention in recounts of what happened, even if it’s simply on a death toll.” She swallows, lifting her gaze back up to meet mine. “I want to be on the right side of history.”
“I like that.” I hate the idea of her being on the death toll, but I don’t want to give the thought any more attention and risk speaking it into existence.
Cancel, clear, delete, I think.
“As much as I hate what we’re going through, and I know I’ll probably need a lifetime of therapy to heal from all of it, I feel like I’m meant to be here. We were placed in each other’s paths for a reason. And maybe this is also a second chance for my family name. Maybe they chose to be complacent before. Maybe status and politics played a part, but I refuse. Either way, I’m proud to be fighting beside you.”
“I’m not the one you’re fighting beside,” I dismiss. “There’s a lot of people working harder than me to beat the Syndicate.”
She sits up onto her elbow. “Haven’t you been listening? You’re the final Landry legacy. The one thing that the Midnight Syndicate fears the most. They may have been plotting out the rebellion for years, but you’re the piece they needed to execute.”
“You sound like Raze,” I scoff.
“Do you remember what Matilda told us in her store that day, when she was talking about Odysseus? She said Raze was a distraction while they waited for the evil to be punished. I don’t think that was just the ramblings of a crazy woman anymore. I think she knew what was coming, and how you and Raze are connected to all of it.”
I purse my lips. “Too bad he can’t be trusted.”
“Say what you want about him, but I think he’s shown all of us exactly where his loyalty lies: with you.”
“That’s just because he knows how important my bloodline is.”
