Page 101 of Splitting Secrets
Instead of pressing him, I gesture toward the tattoos snaking down his arms. “That’s what the waves are for.”
Nodding, he drops his gaze toward his hands. “Just a stupid, impulsive gesture. Bane shouldn’t have been the one to die that day. For years, I wanted so badly to switch places.”
“So, you covered yourself with what killed him . . . ”
My heart aches at the poetry of it.
“I thought maybe if I could cover myself with enough waves, they’d consume me too.”
My voice softens. “That’s not fair. Bane shouldn’t have died, but you deserve to live just as much.”
“I know that now. I spent so many years wanting to be...nothere.” He puffs out a humorless laugh. “How ironic is that? The man who takes lives for a living couldn’t end the one that deserved it most.”
“Don’t say that.”
He shoots me a doubtful look. “You can’t tell me you disagree. Your life would be exponentially better if I didn’t stick around as the Syndicate’s puppet.”
Pursing my lips, I gaze out at the landscape before us. He’s right. It’s a tragedy they don’t allow students to see this. In the few months I spent at Ravenshurst and the weeks buried in that mountain, I never realized how breathtaking the view is.
“My parents would have gotten themselves wrapped up in all of this either way,” I finally say. “They were playing a dangerous game. And it could be argued that you’ve saved more lives than you’ve taken.”
“Don’t do that.”
His serious tone has me whipping my head to face him again. “What?”
“Don’t try to make me out to be some bleeding heart. I’m still a murderer.” It’s jarring how easily he admits to his crimes.
I look down at the grains of sand falling from my palms, shaking my head. “Morality isn’t always black and white.”
“I can assure you, it is,” he insists.
“So, you don’t think I should forgive you?”
“No, I don’t. Ihopeyou will, but that doesn’t mean you should. You deserve so much better than me. Wanting you is selfish, but I’ve never claimed to be a good person.”
“I supposed that’s for me to decide on my own.”
Haven’t I already, though? No matter how hard I try to fight it, I always end up back in his arms.
In his bed.
“I suppose it is.” He rests his chin on his shoulder, that annoying smirk playing across his lips once again, as if he knows I’ll end up choosing in his favor.
“I’m glad you stayed,” I admit in a near-whisper.
“Me too.”
We remain like that for a weighted minute, simply gazing into each other’s eyes. I could fall for this man. It would be so easy, despite everything that’s happened. No,because ofeverything that has happened. I already have. And if I’m being honest, I’d say he’s fallen for me, too.
“The bug is for Bane too, right?” I ask, pulling him from his trance. A line forms between his brows, signaling his confusion, so I move my hand between us and press on his chest, where I know the tattoo is.
“Yes.” The word vibrates against my palm.
“When he visited me in the cabin, he was playing with one of those.” I picture him standing beside my bed that night, offering me comfort I didn’t realize I needed.
“They were his favorite. He had some theory about how they got here. He claimed they came over with the Landrys and were forced to adapt to this climate.”
I purse my lips, not missing the hidden meaning behind that. “He told me he talks to you all the time.”
