Page 46 of The Withering Dawn
I walked out of the store, folding the dress in half and draping it over my forearm.
“Want a box?” she called after me, but I had what I needed and I all but ignored her, polite as she was.
As soon as I stepped out of the store, I had one thing on my mind. I was feeling strangely elated, despite that my whole purpose in Dornwich was to kill a man. But perhaps that was the source of my joy. Soon, I’d be rid of at least one heavy burden from my past and Iwas excited to celebrate, even if it was premature. Not with drinks or merriment, though. I found myself just wanting to return to Aeris with the news that we’d found him. We’d found the bastard and my freedomfrom him was not far off.
I stood on the beach, my bare feet buried halfway in the soft sand as the waves gently swayed back and forth around my ankles. It was chilly that day. The clouds continued to move in front of the sun, casting giant shadows over Dornwich that fed an uncomfortable itch under my skin, but I supposed I would always have those feelings now that I was not on that island. Everything was strange. Everything was scary. I had to get used to it.
Before me, the open ocean stretched out as far as I could see, giant, monstrous, and swelling with danger. Perhaps it was no different than the danger on land or on a ship, but those kinds of dangers I was familiar with.
One day.
One day I would return to the water… maybe.
I heard Nikolas approaching before I saw him. He appeared in my peripheral, tapping my shoulder. I turned to see him offering half an apple. I took it graciously, holding it for a moment. Apples were one of my favorites. They were sweet and juicy and they’d always been given to me on days the men of the Order were in good spirits. Theywere a good omen. A smile teased the corner of my mouth as I lifted it to my lips and took a bite.
“Thank you,” I said.
He nodded in response, taking a bite of his half. I watched him stare out into the sea, same as I had been, while he chewed, and considered how difficult it was to chew food without a tongue. The fact that his could never grow back made me sympathize, despite that he didn’t seem to be having any issues. He took another bite before turning to look at me, lifting his chin as if to ask why I was staring.
“Do you wish you could speak?” I asked.
He shrugged, sliding his free hand into the pocket of his trousers. He gestured to his eyes first and then to his surroundings. Then at his ears and then at his surroundings again. I nodded, understanding.
“I know. Many things are clearer when you do not have a voice to contribute.”
He nodded with a long, heavy sigh. When he finished his apple, he tossed the seeded core into the ocean with a strong throw. I continued nibbling on mine, savoring every bite like it was my last.
“Will you help the others when it comes to it?” I asked. “Will you help them kill Antonio?”
“Mmm,” he hummed, shaking his head and sticking his other hand in his pocket.
“You don’t care to get your revenge?”
Another shrug and a slight wrinkle of his nose said he didn’t have the stomach for it.
“Do you think it will change anything?”
He shifted his weight, pressing his hands down on his shoulders as if to indicate a large weight. And then he lifted them away and ran them down his body as if to flick away a layer of dust.
“You’ll be free of that burden,” I deduced. “Free, in general, to go and live as you please.” I paused for a moment, glancing back at the monstrous ocean, aware that I should not be so afraid of it. But I was. “Do you think I can come with you?”
He tapped my arm, indicating the water and moving his hand about like an eel as if to tell me I could swim away anytime.
I shook my head. “It frightens me. Too much space. Too much darkness. Too many unknowns. I wish I could swim those waters, but I suppose I am a coward. All I’ve known are tight spaces.”
Again, we stood in silence and despite his inability to talk, I could hear Nikolas thinking. Finally, he tapped me again and gestured toward the trees. I glanced back at the thick foliage and saw nothing. When he pointed at the sea, I started to understand his meaning.
“There is water there?” I asked.
He nodded, bringing his hands close in front of him as if to indicate something small.
I contemplated it for a moment, wondering if perhaps a smaller body of water would warm me up to the sea. I doubted it very much, but either way, it was a good way for me to be alone with my thoughts. I inclined my head at Nikolas and turned toward the trees.
“Perhaps I will visit it,” I said.
He nodded, scratching at the scruff along his chin. As I walked to the trees, I could feel the air growing more stagnant and humid. The sand turned to fallen leaves, dirt, and twigs that crunched under my soles. There was no trail to follow and barely any space to navigate without having to duck under a branch or step over a root. But I could smell the fresh water before I saw it. It wasn’t like the sea. Fresh water smelled like innocence and serenity whereas the sea smelled wild and uncontrolled.
I reached a small clearing, glancing back to memorize which direction I’d come from. When I entered the clearing, I could hear the trickling sound of a small waterfall running through the rocks and moss. Fallen fruit on the ground from the tall palms made the banks smell sweet. I took a deep breath, savoring the wonderful solitude and the way the sun’s rays beamed down through spaces in the branches above. I walked further to see the light glistening like gold off the rippling surface of a pool. The water was crystal clear with a few leaves floating along the top.
