Page 133 of Wicked Tides
“You’re somewhat decent yourself, Gus,” I said flatly.
He limped off, groaning through his discomfort when Mullins strode up, a large sack over his shoulder. He shrugged toward us and then bowed exaggeratedly with a flare of his hand.
“Ladies,” he said. “It’s been a horrible pleasure.”
His eyes flicked briefly to Meridan and the slight pause in his breath caught me off guard before he spun and walked away, whistling some upbeat tune. I whipped my head toward her, brow raised, but she just bobbed a shoulder, oblivious.
He favored her over me. He had since the beginning.
Vidar didn’t speak to me that morning until everyone was gone and he was the only one who had yet to venture back to the Rose. Only then did he meet my eyes as he walked past, heading for the coast. I did my best to seem indifferent, but I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to make him feel something like I was feeling something, but he appeared unwavering in his choice. He looked at me, his thumbs hanging on his belt, and set his tricorn hat atop his head.
The gods had made him beautiful in their own, tormenting way and I’d never despised it so much. He didn’t even speak to me and I had no words for him that were kind, so I refrained as well. Instead, I reached into the pocket of my coat and pulled out his silentium, now strung onto a necklace. I handed it to him and straightened off the wall.
“It was stupid of you to remove it,” I said, turning to walk away.
“I have no shortage of stupid decisions,” I heard him say under his breath.
I walked to the courtyard where a few others were gathered to say goodbye to the remaining crew. Ahnah was there and beamed when I showed up. She waltzed over to take my hand. She thought I was staying, too, and I did not dare tell her otherwise yet.
I watched from a distance as Vidar shook the hand of one of the village men and the two began walking toward the tunnel to leave. Seeing his back like that did something to me. Rage and bitterness and pain tangled and twisted in my chest where my heart was supposed to be. Once more, Vidar was causing me pain where I should not havefelt any and I wanted to sprint after him and tear him to pieces for the offense. To have earned my affection only to abandon me was something I would not forget.
Again…
Once he had disappeared into the cave, my heart struck my sternum like it was trying to follow after him. Pathetic.
Ahnah squeezed my hand and I looked down at her confused little face. Her forehead was scrunched as if she was asking a question, but even when she spoke, I couldn’t understand her. When she remembered her words meant nothing to me, she pointed toward the cave where last I saw Vidar’s departing silhouette. Then she pointed that same finger toward me before tapping her hand on her chest.
I shook my head at her but she insisted, pulling from my grip and pointing again toward the coast. Frustrated with her implications, I turned my gaze toward Meridan, hoping for some clarity. She shrugged.
“I like it here,” she said. “The water suits me.”
“So?”
“But I’ll not be letting you get on that ship full of filthy, loud men alone.”
“I’m not—”
“Yes, you are.” She stepped toward me, an exasperated tone in her voice. “He’s the captain of the Rose, but he’s not your captain. He can’t order you around.”
I could have argued, but why would I? Vidar had tried to decide for me and the mere notion was infuriating. Not only that, but I felt the emptiness creeping up inside me already and I’d only lost sight of him moments ago. I stared at that dark cave and the light that gleamed from the other end where the beach was. Taupek chuckled when Ahnah moved behind me and pushed against my backside, forcing me forward.
“I’d do what the little one says,” Taupek said, groaning as she stood from a bench. “She’ll be angry with you otherwise.”
I balled my hands into fists, my mind whirling from one idea to the next until I finally forced it to come to a stop. And where it stopped was Vidar, the bastard.
“So?” Meridan said. “What are—”
I took off running toward the beach, my eyes burning with unshed tears as the cold wind gnawed at my cheeks. When I came to the other side of the cave, the men were still there, loading a couple crates into the boat under Vidar’s instruction. I wanted to rip off his head.
I slowed to a fast walk, panting as I zeroed in on him. His back was turned, but it didn’t take long for him to notice his men gawking at my approach. He spun to face me.
“No,” I snarled.
“No?” he said.
I grabbed the collar of his coat and shoved him into a wall of rocks near the water. He raised his hands in surrender, wide-eyed.
“I’m not staying. Perhaps I will be safe here, but out there, you will not be. I am coming with you to hunt whatever horrors come from the deep. To kill whatever men dare threaten your crew again. They are my horrors to face, too. And against all sanity and rage, I find myself aching at the thought of you sailing away from me. I won’t stay. You are the captain of that ship, but you do not command me. And I will not make the mistake again of watching you leave so you can haunt me from afar for another eighteen years.”
