Page 67 of Crash Landing
“I do not believe so. What I felt when I thought she might be in danger was something indescribable. And that was before my physical reactions even began.”
Kaisiri raised her chin analytically and then slowly moved to a white, padded seat to sit. I sat on the stool across from her, aware of how casual our conversation felt. It was almost… friendly.
“And where does this put you?” she asked. “You are a soldier. A well-trained pilot. You’re an asset to your people. Do you see yourself settling down with a mate?”
“I don’t know.”
“And you’re aware of the health risks that come with pregnancy? In the latest reports from Vahko and Innifer, she is still not showing signs of fertility, so there’s no way of knowing how a valerian pregnancy would affect a human. Our fetuses develop rapidly. More rapidly than that of a human. The toll it would take on her physical health is—”
“I know,” I nodded solemnly. “And I’m a fool to have consummated our bond before considering these things.”
“Do not fret,” she eased. “Your paetal is beating again. But even with a healthy paetal, it does not mean every woman you touch will be impregnated.” She stopped for a moment, folding her long fingers together in her lap. “Have you considered your duties if Dr. Kel’ri finds you fit for breeding?”
“I have. And I’m more than willing to cooperate.”
“If?”
“If nothing. My duty is to my people over all else.”
She watched me for a long moment before nodding and straightening out the folds of her robes.
“If you care about Sam, that makes her your people, too,” she muttered.
I raised my head, caught off guard by the solemn drop in her tone.
“Councilwoman?”
Taking a deep breath, she leaned back in her seat, stripping herself of that straight, proper councilwoman posture I’d always known her to have.
“You do have a duty, Saleuk. That is true. It’s admirable that you want to help your people in that way, even when your affections are for Sam. But this is the second time that one of our people has surged in the presence of a human. Our people have been dealt a terrible blow by our enemies. To lose the ability to bear children is a daunting window into our future. But we all know that valerians and humans alike are descendants of Ak’suk’kaan. Perhaps this is the path we were meant to take. Perhaps it was not simply by chance that humans ventured into space when they did. When our people were losing hope.”
Taking another deep breath, she dropped her eyes to her hands and pressed her lips together into a soft frown.
“You are young. You slept through the worst of it, but the pain we endured when we realized what happened did not end the day the gek infected our people with that terrible virus. It lingered. And I lived through it. And my husband died attacking gek warships with a large sum of our remaining soldiers who were not put into stasis.”
“I did not know you were married.”
“Because we married after so many were put to sleep. Including you. We married out of love. Out of mutual pain and a need for support. We were not together to help our people or to advance science or to strengthen alliances. We were together because we needed each other.”
The pain radiating from Kaisiri was heavy, sucking the air right out of the room. Tangled bits of my mind latched on to the idea of losing Sam and how that would devastate me. I couldn’t imagine the agony Kaisiri contended with every day after she lost her other half.
“I’m very sorry, councilwoman,” I said.
“There’s no need to be sorry. I’m very old now. I have many jobs and many duties to busy my thoughts. To see Vahko and now you find a connection in someone, even if they are not valerian, is a bittersweet realization that we are moving into a new era. Evolving. So, you do have a duty to your people and I pray you don’t forget it. But I will not stand in your way if you desire to make what you have with Sam into something real.” She stood, slowly unfolding into her full, slender height. “But you must be certain. And even more than that, she must be certain.”
I stood and placed my hands neatly behind my back, inclining my head.
“Of course,” I said.
“This will all still need to be taken before the council. I will do my best to convince them that these pairings are a good thing for our people, but don’t expect everyone to be so accepting.”
“Ilisa has already expressed her malcontent.”
“Yes, well, she’s a bit too religious and pure-blooded for my taste.”
I chuckled. “She tried to get me to consider the Sisters of Silica.”
Kaisiri shook her head with dismissal and turned to leave the room. “Those women cannot bear children any easier than the rest of us. They’re just starved for attention.” She reached the door and turned to me. “Congratulations, Mena’tauv. Now, go clean yourself up. I can smell every plant and dirt patch you ever came in contact with on that moon.”
