Page 5 of The Devil In Blue
Lucien opened my umbrella for me, ensuring no drop hit my delicate skin.
We headed down the street, Lucien two strides ahead of me. I was not his wife and people knew. I was his ward. His prize. His prize for what, I never understood. People knew the stories around the manor. Stories about a young woman plucked from the horrors of an asylum by a selfless baron who simply wanted to give her a better life.
I was that woman. His charitable act.
With so few memories past my time with Lucien, I had to accept that I was broken. My head was not right. There were too many black spots. Too many voices. Too many shattered pieces for me to be sane.
And insane people needed others to take care of them. Lucien was that person for me.
So, I was not his wife. I did not hang on his arm with a smile as other women did with the men accompanying them. I ate what I was given, I wore what I was gifted, and I spoke the way Lucien enjoyed, if at all. Obediently and softly.
None of it made a difference to me. I stopped feeling—truly feeling—long ago. Small bursts of happiness, or something resembling it, teased my thoughts from time to time, but otherwise, I was just a feather floating where the wind took me. And that wind was Lucien.
Entering a familiar dress shop, the owner, a woman with a deep, copper-colored complexion, greeted us with a heavy accent. I didn’t know where she was from and I desperately wanted to know, but I had never asked.
Ethel pinned her dark curls up and smiled brightly. She was always excited over Lucien, who never hesitated to spend his money on a gorgeous gown to dress me in. I stood near the wall, hands clasped in front of me, as Lucien and Ethel talked over an appropriate design for me.
Ethel looked me over, squinting her eyes at me as Lucien hung over her shoulder, hands behind his back. She tilted her head to one side and then the other and hummed thoughtfully.
“You always put her in these pale colors, but it is Allhalloween, Baron,” she said, crossing her arms over her bosom.
Ethel had a full figure and wore complimentary colors without fail. As a dressmaker, her fashion was always forward and detailed with beads, delicate trims, and stitching that seemed ahead of our time. Her bustles were always a bit flatter and her jewelry was exaggerated, leaving no eye unturned.
I wished I could dress how I wanted. Then again, I wouldn’t even know how to dress differently. I didn’t even truly know what I liked.
Ethel and Lucien had been talking amongst themselves in front of me as if I was not there for some time. When they came to an agreement, it was clear Lucien was a bit uneasy about it.
“She will be in a mask,” Ethel argued. “No one will even know it is your little flower.”
“Red is such a flashy color for her, do you not think so?” Lucien said. “Perhaps a color less exaggerated.”
Ethel sighed. I had to be her most boring customer aside from the amount of money Lucien was willing to spend.
“Perhaps I can compromise.” She bit her lip in thought. “Yes.”
Without another word, she retreated to the back room, leaving Lucien and me in the dress shop alone. I let my eyes wander the shop and all the clothing on display. There was a beautiful, emerald green dress by the window draped over a mannequin made of wood. The layers of jewel-toned fabric were mesmerizing, but it was the lovely jewelry hanging around the neck of the mannequin that truly caught my gaze.
I inched toward it as Lucien pulled out his gold pocket watch to stare at the time.
On a silver chain was an arrangement of metal twists that shaped a pair of moth wings, each adorned with gems that glistened like peacock feathers. The colors shifted as I changed my angle of view. Between the gems was a silver skull with rubies for eyes. It was subtle, beautiful, and a bit eerie. Every element together made poetry for my sheltered eyes and I almost reached out to touch it when a figure passed in front of the window and snapped me out of my mild trance. The figure had been standing at the corner of the building outside, so still my eyes did not catch him until he moved.
The figure didn’t walk particularly fast, but it was fast enough for me to lose sight as soon as I noticed him. All I could tell was that it was a man, tall and broad, with a long, blue coat that faded to black at the hem. I saw nothing else, but something about the instant made my heart stop for a blink. There was a sliver of suspicion that the man was watching me through that window long before I noticed his presence, but it was forgotten quickly when I heard Lucien’s voice pull me back from the display.
“You will wear your diamonds,” he said flatly, eyeing the necklace I’d been admiring.
Flashy jewelry distracted from the innocence of my face, he always said.
Although, I wasn’t sure how someone’s face could look innocent. Nor did I understand why it mattered if we were going to be wearing masks.
When Ethel returned from the back room with a large box, Lucien moved to an oak table in the middle of the shop to judge the contents she so eagerly brought out for him. I stayed back, watching from afar as Ethel opened the box and unfolded a deep gold gown made of layers and layers of red-trimmed silk. Swirls were hand embroidered along the hem of each layer and trailed upward, fading into the cinched waistline of the sleeveless marvel. A rounded neckline plunged a little deeper than I knew Lucien liked, but with some thought, I was surprised to see him nod with approval.
“This color is sure to do wonders for her brown eyes,” Ethel said. “They’ll light right up.”
I withheld my shock as she folded the dress back into its box. It was so unlike Lucien to allow me to wear something so extravagant. But when I caught him paying her, I knew it was real.
But we weren’t done.
Lucien carried the large box out of the shop, handing it to a footman near our parked carriage before we headed a little further down the street to an artist's den. I’d heard of such places where people indulged and freely explored the expanse of free thought in manners “unbecoming of the upper class,” Lucien always said. So it confused me that we stopped in front of one.
