Page 59 of Blue Embers
“Do you love her, Valentyne?” Lukan said more firmly.
I hesitated for a long while, thinking back on the moment I’d marked her. So many things had gone through my head at the time and yet I still chose to bind her permanently to me in order to keep her in the world. The idea of never seeing her again put bricks in my stomach. I felt heavy with sorrow simply by imagining it for a split second. Love, however, was something I wasn’t sure I could recognize if I felt it.
“I can’t say,” I muttered.
Lukan looked into the woods again, his eyes glowing with deep thought like he was trying to solve a frustrating equation.
“Let me ask you this,” he continued, shifting his weight to one leg. “If there was no danger and she didn’tneedyou now, would you let her go? Would you continue with your life? Would you watch her continue hers? Watch her find a man? Marry? Could you invite another woman into your bed knowing Persephone existed somewhere else?”
As Lukan listed the scenarios, every image made my insides tighten. I imagined another man in Persephone’s arms and I twitched with discomfort. When I thought about rolling in the sheets with another woman, I felt guilt and dissatisfaction. Nothing about living apart from her seemed remotely appealing. In fact, it was incredibly heartbreaking. Still, my voice could not say the things I was feeling. It was like willing stones to the surface of a lake.
Lukan sighed, brushing a few loose strands of dark hair back over his head.
“I understand you need time, brother,” he said. “I have a feeling Persephone will be worth it.”
25
Persephone
. . .
It had been four days since I woke up in that cabin. That morning, I hadn’t seen Killian at all. I found myself a rock outside that was flat and the snow melted each morning enough for me to sit down and think. I looked over a vast mountain covered in white fluff and woods. Down the walking path was a large lake with a boathouse attached to a small dock, which I’d visited only once on a small walk to clear my head.
It was a sunny day and the warm light on my cheeks mixed with the frigid breeze was actually comforting. Hanging my legs over the edge of the rock, I let my thoughts run wild. They often scurried in all directions, but at least on my own I couldn’t disturb anyone when I started getting aggravated or upset.
Rather than ask where Killian was when he wasn’t around, I tried my best to ignore his absence on the off chance that he would eventually decide he really didn’t want anything to do with me. Still, the notion hurt a little. Slowly, my memories had made a full return and since they had, I was having vivid and spontaneous recollections about the museum.
I remembered what that witch, Haera, had done. What shemademe do. It angered me so far beyond anything when I thought about the fact that she was ultimately responsible for my sister’s premature passing as well. In my nightmares, I saw Killian’s blade in my gut, my hand wielding it. The idea made me sick. I felt violated on levels I didn’t think were possible and as much as I wanted to reach out to someone for comfort, I needed to figure out how to keep it together without a crutch.
As the sun was starting to sink and the sky had turned a rich orange, I heard a pair of boots crunching through the snow behind me. I glanced over my shoulder and was taken aback to see Lukan approaching, dressed in jeans and a sweater with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His strong bone structure was accentuated by trimmed facial hair that made him look rough, but his eyes were perhaps the gentlest of all the men residing at the cabin. He walked up to me and stepped onto the flat rock, standing for a moment to look out at the scenery where I’d been contemplating life for the past couple hours.
“You’re not jumping, are you?” he said in a joking voice.
“Jumping?” I asked.
He leaned over the edge to look at the drop below where I’d perched myself.
“It’s a far drop,” he said. “You wouldn’t be the first woman I’d have to keep from jumping to her death.”
“Right,” I nodded. “Everly told me about that. And no, I wasn’t planning on it.”
Lukan’s mouth slanted into a smirk as he lowered his long body to sit with me.
“You like it out here, huh?” he said, hanging one leg over the edge of the rock while he kept the other knee bent so he could rest his elbow on it.
“It’s quiet,” I said with a shrug. “Lets me think.”
“How are you coping with the mark?”
“Fine. I forget it’s there unless…” I stopped myself, the thought of Killian still a little uncomfortable.
“Unless Killian’s around,” Lukan finished. “That’s sort of why I’m here.”
“Really,” I rolled my eyes. “Is he telling people to relay messages now?”
“No,” Lukan laughed, amused. “He’s not back yet, actually. He went to meet a contact in town. I decided to do this on my own. In fact, he probably wouldn’t be happy to know I was talking to you, but Keera’s a little worried and her needs usually come first.”
“Worried?”
