Page 38 of Wishes on Wildflowers
“What’s that supposed to mean? I’m not going anywhere. I’m not some sort of fly-by-night guy, no matter what you think.” He’d ignore the string of girlfriends in L.A. for the moment. “I’ve got several clients besides Bridgeview Backyards and the bistro. I’m sure I’ll sign on Ranta Landscaping—”
“Is that why you gave Dan a ride?”
Why was she so prickly? “No, I gave him a ride because I happened to be there, and I’m a decent human being.”
“And the diaper?”
Nathan shifted around the small table to face her, dragging the little boy with every step. He planted both handson the counter between them and looked her in the eye. “Out of the goodness of my heart.”
“Some experience there? Is there something you haven’t bothered to mention yet? Like, that you have a kid or three in California?”
He took a deep breath and expelled it. “Not to my knowledge.”
Jasmine’s lips drew into a tight line.
“But, to be completely honest—”
“Always the best policy.”
“—I did live with a woman with two kids for several months. I’ve changed a few diapers.” He held up both hands. “She got back with her ex.”
Jasmine closed her eyes and turned away. “Nathan, I can’t even...”
“Can’t even what?”
“Why did you come back? You’ve ruined your life, and now you’re messing with mine.”
She had no idea how badly he’d ruined his, but she was certainly messing with his right now. His mind, his heart, all of him was tangled back into her hands. “Jasmine?”
“What?” She didn’t look at him.
“I’ve screwed up many ways, many times. I’m not going to pretend otherwise. I wouldn’t fool you or anyone else. But you know something?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “God is bigger than that. Jesus’ death covered it all. I came to the foot of the cross and asked His forgiveness. I asked Him to take away the old me and make me something new.”
Jasmine’s eyes opened. She sucked in her lower lip as she studied his face.
Nathan spread his hands. “He’s done that. Or, I should say, I’m a work in progress. But it’s real. I didn’t do it foryou or to whitewash myself. I knew I needed God. I needed direction. Purpose. Forgiveness.”
What was going on behind those velvety brown eyes? What was she looking for on his face? Would he know when she found it?
Buddy plopped onto the floor and leaned against Nathan’s leg. Maybe he could give the little guy a basketball and let him toddle around the court. He and Jason could dodge around him, couldn’t they? Good practice. Nathan scooped the boy onto one hip.
“I didn’t come back to Spokane for you, Jasmine. I thought we were over years ago. I came back because I needed closure, like with Pops. It was time.” He held her gaze. Should he reach for her hands? They weren’t so far away, pressed together on the other edge of the counter. “I’ll tell you something, though.”
Her eyebrows rose slightly.
“I left you before, and there’s no way to show you how very sorry I am to have hurt you so deeply. But, if you give me a chance, I’ll never leave you again.”
Jasmine’s breath caught.
“Believe me. I’ve wasted enough time. I wasn’t ready then, but I am now.” Seriously, his mouth should stop moving, but the intensity of her gaze propelled him to keep talking until she said something. Preferably something like, “I forgive you, and I’m ready, now, too.”
Because, even though he’d never allowed himself to think all the things he’d just said to her, he meant every one of them. He’d love her with everything in him for the rest of their lives, if she only allowed him to.
He cupped his hand over hers on the faded countertop. “I know you said you’d forgive me, but is it possible for youtake it a step further? Is there room for me in your heart?”
“I’ve tried to get you out of there for eight years, Nathan Hamelin. It never worked. Not completely.”
Nathan felt the warmth from her hands seep into his. Watched her gaze soften as her lips curved in a rueful smile.
