Page 111 of Ruling Scar
“She’s my mom.”
“That doesn’t mean she makes decisions for you. She’s the one who taught you to always style your hair down and you did it. She buys you clothes and you wear them so long as she lets you keep your sneakers. She recommended a university, you went there. You never complained about your guard.”
“It’s not all bad,” I note. “She buys outfits she knows I’ll like. She wanted me to go off to university.”
“So long as it was in the state.”
“We can’t all go to Oxford,” I reply dryly.
“Protection and controlling are a fine line.”
Funny, coming from him. Most people say he walks that line.
“You put Ivan on me.”
He rubs the back of my neck, his thumb stroking soothing circles. “Because you told me you went on a date with a psychopath. And don’t think I didn’t notice how you didn’t tell your mother about him.”
“There was a lot going on,” I say as I gulp down coffee.
“You don’t want to upset your mom. You don’t want her to worry. You also don’t want her to think you can’t handle things. It’s always about how other’s think and feel.”
“I care about how you feel.” I lean into his comforting hand.
“Except all those years you didn’t talk to me.”
My coffee hovers in front of me. We never talk much about the past. He kisses my scar, but we never talk about the injury despite how much it’s affected our lives. And our friendship after.
“You were off to Oxford before I even got to high school,” I say.
“I came back, Leonora. I could barely get you to talk to me.”
There’s a hint of something in his voice that I can’t place.
Everything’s a jumbled-up mess and I can’t help but think we’re trying to untangle something that ultimately doesn’t change anything.
I love Elijah.
Now and probably back then.
His eyes used to follow me when we were in the same space. Maybe his feelings aren’t as strong as mine, but they’ve certainly been there. I know it all the way down to my toes.
I wrap my hand around him, squeezing tight. “But think about all the bookish thoughts I share with you now.”
He smiles, placing a kiss on my nose. The buzzer sounds from below and he gets up to check.
“Natalie’s up early this morning.”
“What the—” I rise from the barstool, going off to find a pair of sweats. I’ve learned my lesson. . . possibly.
When I come out of the bedroom, Nat’s standing in the living room with her arms crossed over her chest.
Elijah heads to the bedroom, stopping to place another kiss on my lips. Nat makes a face, clearly not impressed with my taste in men either.
Or maybe it’s just an obligatory roll of the eyes since she’s the big sister after all.
She waits for Elijah to close the bedroom door before she opens her mouth. “Really?”
I try to ignore the sting and the way Nat is so clearly unimpressed. Her dark hair accentuates her pale, tired face where grayish bags line her lower lashes.
