Page 123 of Ruin My Life
“You can be a little selfish with me.”
“Don’t.”
His voice is sharp, almost pleading. He grabs my jaw and pulls back just enough for our eyes to lock. His grip is firm, but not cruel. Those dark, near-black eyes cuts straight through my armour, into whatever’s left underneath.
“You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into, Brie.”
“I’malreadyin it,” I tell him, growing frustrated. “Just trust me. Give me a reason to trust you. Whether you like it or not, I’m here. And there’s no way out now.”
He exhales hard, like the breath costs him something.
His hands shift from my face to my thighs, gripping them firmly as he stands. I hold tighter around his neck, half-expecting him to carry me away, to lose control completely.
But instead, he turns anddropsme back onto the couch.
I blink up at him, stunned, as he looms over me with something haunted in his eyes.
“Ihatethat you’re in this,” he says. “I hate that you’ve been dragged into something this fucked, because the last time I cared about someone this much, they used her to get to me. Just like someone’s using you now.”
His voice is rough. Final.
“I couldn’t save her. But Iwillprotect you. Even if it costs me your trust.”
Something in his voice—some raw, trembling truth—undoes a knot in my chest.
I don’t know what happened back then. None of them talk about it.
But now... I know therewassomeone.
Someone he couldn’t save.
This isn’t just a war for him. It’s a repeat of the worst chapter in his life.
And I don’t know what that means forme.
Do I matter to him because I’mme?
Or am I just another echo of the girl he lost?
“I want to trust you,” I say quietly. “But I can’t if you keep pushing me into the dark.”
His gaze flicks to mine. Searching—like he’s trying to gauge if I really mean it.
And I do.
If he told me—if he justtoldme—I wouldn’t need to keep pulling strings and staging distractions.
He’s proven he’s not the man I thought he was. He’smore.
And I’m so goddamn tired of not being able to trust anyone. Especially when everyoneelseseems to trust him so easily.
“All I wanted was to leave,” he whispers, his voice already raw from the memory. “But they wouldn’t let me go.”
The way he says it...
It’s like it still surprises him.
Like he’s a man who walked through hell and still isn’t sure he made it out.
