Page 161 of Ruin My Life
And he still brought me here.
Rebecka doesn’t hesitate. She steps down from the porch slowly, using the railing until her slippers hit the ground. Then she walks straight to me and wraps her arms around me.
“It’s nice to meet you, Brie,” she says gently.
Her hug is stronger than I expect—solid and enveloping.
Safe.
It feels like something inside me breaks and fuses back together all at once.
No one’s hugged me like this since my mom died.
She smells like cinnamon and cloves and winter holidays.
Like mulled wine and old stories.
Like someone who knows how to hold grief without being swallowed by it.
Tears prick my eyes without warning. Before I can stop myself, I’m wrapping my arms around her and burying my face in the soft wool of her sweater.
“Oh, sweetie…” she murmurs, rubbing my back the same way she rubbed Damon’s. “You’ve had a long day, haven’t you? That drive alone is enough to undo anyone. Why don’t we get you inside and warmed up? I’ll make us some tea.”
I nod, trying to hold myself together.
“Thank you. That sounds… really nice.”
She loops her arm around mine likeI’mthe one who needs steadying and leads me gently up the steps.
It’s maternal in a way I forgot existed.
Natural. Unconditional.
And I hate how badly I want to lean into it.
Everything about this feels impossible.
Too normal. Too warm. Tookind.
I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be allowed to feel this.
When I glance over my shoulder, Damon is standing at the edge of the grass with both our bags in hand. There’s a small, almost wistful smile tugging at his lips.
His eyes catch mine for a beat.
And it hits me—hewantedthis.
Not just for me to survive. For me tohavethis.
But he shouldn’t.
Neither of them should feel safe with me here.
Because I’m not safe.
I’m not good.
And I don’t deserve either of them.
