Page 88 of Distinctly Daray
“If you don’t like the show, change the channel. But I know that’s not what’s bothering you. The last thing you’d ever do is get antsy about what’s on television.”
“How I feel is stupid.”
Victor caressed Phillip’s jaw and turned his face so their eyes met. His thumb stroked Phillip’s cheek. “How you feel is never stupid.”
“Allow me to speak more accurately. How my dragon feels is stupid.”
The beast in question roared in Phillip’s head, and he wondered if he’d have his first-ever out-of-control shift if he kept negating the dragon’s feelings. It was a foolish gamble, and he was ashamed for instigating a fight with a creature deadlier than he was despite the daggers still floating at his sides. Normally, Phillip took them off in the confines of his bedroom so he was ready and able to cuddle on a moment’s notice, but sitting around unarmed with Keegan missing from the condo had been too much to ask of himself.
“What’s unintelligent is squabbling with your dragon. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on in that head of yours?”
Phillip captured Victor’s hand and laid a kiss on his palm. “He’s worried about Keegan.”
“We can nonchalantly text and ask him which bar or restaurant he’s at if it’ll make your dragon feel better. Keegan will understand. You aren’t like other shifters. Something about the undead spell keeps your beast much closer to the surface.”
“He should get to hang out with his friends without some antsy undead dragon demanding to know where he is.”
“And you deserve to enjoy your evening without some antsy undead dragon driving you nuts, but reality is often far from fantasy, Phillip. You have a beast who refuses to be ignored. As your mates, Keegan and I both want to do whatever we can to make you and your beast happy.”
“It still does not feel right to bother Keegan. He is out enjoying himself with his friends. I do not want to make him reluctant to go out in the future or have him believe it is necessary to check in with me. He has not been gone that long.”
“Since right after work. Maybe two hours or so. But I bet you can tell me down to the minute. Does this happen to you in the afternoons while you and Keegan are at the office? Are yousitting there the entire time wondering where I am and what I’m doing?”
Phillip shook his head. “I do not want you to think I love you any less, but no. Perhaps it is because we are both shifters, but my dragon is calmer about you.”
“Or maybe your dragon thinks of it instinctively. That’s what we’re taught, right? People have all these nuances. Our beasts don’t. They react with instinct and instinct alone.”
“Sometimes I wonder if sentinels understand every nuance of others, but yes, I know what you mean. How is reacting to one of my mates with anxiety but not the other instinctual?”
“Because I’m a little kitty that’ll hide under a bed,” Victor replied with a chuckle. “Maybe remind your dragon that Keegan’s a fallen knight. He can’t die. Keegan’s more immortal than you are.”
The problem with that statement was that Victor didn’t know the truth. And suddenly, understanding hit Phillip. His dragon knew the reality of the situation. Keegancoulddie. Victor’s cat instincts would force him to run or hide if he couldn’t defend himself. Keegan was a fallen knight. He’d been resurrected to race toward danger.
That was why his dragon lost his cool the moment they were separated. The weird part was that while Keegan wasn’t as immortal as he believed himself to be; only a sentinel dagger could kill him. A sentinel would never attack a fallen knight. So, once again Phillip was left wondering what the hell was wrong with his dragon.
Keegan wasn’t in any peril. Nothing would ever harm him. Another thought hit Phillip, and he pursed his lips.
“Victor, Keegan is safe. Nothing can hurt him. But what if it did? What if this is not our first life together?”
Victor’s green gaze widened. “Like the three of us were together before and he died?”
“Would we have been shifters in a past life?”
“I believe so, yes,” Victor said. “We don’t have many concrete examples, but look at Brynn and Samson. They were.”
“What if we could not find a beast on the other side for Keegan because he was not a shifter, but you and I were?”
Victor swallowed and leaned against Phillip. “Our beasts would’ve died of heartbreak.”
The downside of sharing your soul with a powerful beast was that they couldn’t handle the loss of a beloved mate. They’d travel to the other side of the veil, leaving the man to die too.
“What if that has followed my dragon to this life?” Phillip asked. “What if he fears losing Keegan again?”
“It’s a beautiful sentiment to think we all loved each other so much that our beasts couldn’t exist without him, but it’s also really, horribly sad. I can’t deny that it’s a possibility.”
A strange feeling of rightness settled in alongside the growing anxiety infusing Phillip’s dragon. While he could not communicate directly with his beast, something told him he’d landed on an idea akin to the truth.
“If that is true, how will I ever convince my dragon to remain calm whenever I am parted from Keegan?”
