Page 75 of Mystique of the Fallen
Again, Roman shook his head. “We spoke twice more. I wanted to send you some information about the Council. You mentioned an aunt who wasn’t an actual blood relative who I could mail it to, but you were concerned because she wasn’t a tolerant person. I suggested dropping a box off for you at a Dérive station. To my surprise, you picked it up. In our last conversation, you told me you’d decided to break up with Reginald. You asked me to give you some space. Your plan was to move away. I don’t know where. I agreed to wait to hear from you, unsure if I ever would. I didn’t. We never spoke again. I found out you’d died when I went to the Ascension Center after Chand had resurrected our first fallen knight. I was fucked up. Stunned. I couldn’t even tell Chand your last name. I didn’t know it. He gave you Valerius. I looked it up. It means strong or healthy. I liked that.”
Grant set the drink he had yet to touch on a coaster and massaged his temples. “I…I don’t know what to think.”
“I took time off while you were training to straighten out my thoughts because the truth is…I didn’t like you. I’m sorry. You were my mate, but I was losing hope. Then I met Venerable Knight Grant Valerius. You are nothing like him. The old Grant. He was a mystery. One I didn’t particularly want to unravel. There were no comparisons in my head. All I had was this awful secret that I didn’t know how to handle appropriately. I waited too long. I know that. I hope you can forgive me. But I also understand if you need some space to sort your thoughts and decide for yourself what this all means.”
“Did I smell like limes?”
“I smelled limes,” Roman said. “But I also smelled your car when we met. It was pretty rank. Human Grant didn’t keep a tidy car.”
“Okay, that’s gross.”
“You had some nice blond highlights, if that’s any consolation.”
Grant appeared shocked. “Really? Huh. At least I had good fashion sense.”
“Your clothes were stained and could’ve used a round in a washing machine.”
“Roman?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you have any other secrets?”
Roman tensed, and it wasn’t lost on Grant, who frowned. “Just one, but it doesn’t feel right to fess up right now. You have too much on your mind. I’m sorry I wasn’t honest about your past. I hope you can forgive me. I didn’t intend to hurt you. What I wanted was for you to have a fresh start without any of that shit fucking with your head for as long as possible.”
“Do you know what’s harder than learning all this? Knowing that you can’t give all of yourself to me. I thought that was the kind of relationship we had. Up until today, I thought I understood you despite those weird moments when your back would stiffen or you’d get quiet. I’d wonder for an instant if you had a secret, but I’d shrug it off. That’s not my Roman. He’s too straightforward for that.”
Grant rose jerkily from the sofa, and Roman was on his heels in an instant.
“Grant,” Roman said. Although Grant moved to walk away, Roman grabbed his arm gently, and their eyes met. “My secret. The last one. The one I wanted to save for a special day. Well…you deserve to know everything. I love you. That’s the other thing I’ve been keeping from you. But only because I’m apparently completely lacking in romance. I wanted to officially offer you my heart in a moment you’d never forget.”
To Roman’s immense relief, Grant turned to face Roman. Grant hesitated for a moment, then burrowed into Roman’s chest. With a heavy sigh, Roman wrapped Grant firmly in his embrace.
“I’m so fucking sorry about all of this,” Roman said.
“I hope you mean the past life shit and not loving me.”
“Don’t be absurd. I’m honored to offer you my heart. Fate has been too fucking good to me.”
“Roman?”
“Yeah, baby?”
Grant lifted his head from Roman’s chest and finally smiled. A genuine grin lit up his green eyes. “I love you too.”
Roman kissed him softly. “Thank Fate for that.”
“I think I understand why you didn’t tell me about the old Grant.”
“It wasn’t a secret I planned on keeping forever. You deserve the truth, and I’m sorry I didn’t confide in you before you bumped into Reginald.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t nicer to you in the past.”
“Don’t you dare apologize for a past you cannot and will not recall. That person isnotyou. Your experiences are different from his, and your path is not the same. You’re only responsible for the decisions you’ve made as a fallen knight. Not as a human.”
“Still, it sucks being called a zombie, and I used that to your face.”
“On some level, I understand that humans have been conditioned to think poorly of us, but it also pisses me off.”
