Page 36 of Killian
“Why would you be so willing to throw away the other half of your soul?” Kaedan asked Chander. “I do not judge you, Killian. There is much to consider, but Chand, you have yet to meet your mate.”
“I beg Fate to leave me be,” Chander stated emphatically. “My life is not an easy one. I can care for myself. Have I not spent the last century and a half learning to fight and harnessing my magick to protect myself and destroy anyone in my path? But who else would be drawn to such extremes? No, a man in my life would be a target for the cruel wretches who curse me for my demonic blood or seethe with jealousy that I have a title they covet. I am better off alone.”
“We are here to protect you and your mate too,” Baxter insisted.
“What you need is a sentinel for a mate,” Benton added.
Chander laughed caustically. “Where would I meet another sentinel? No necromancer wishes to even hear the word. Not that I wish for a sentinel in any event. While I love you both, you are far too sure of yourselves and follow me everywhere. I do not need a third man in my life telling me how to live it or insisting he remain at my side to ensure my safety. A mate like that would not do for me at all. I answer only to my people.”
“It need not be like that young man,” Killian replied quietly.
Closing his eyes, Chander’s breath escaped him in a huff. “What crime did that man commit? I will tell you. He met me and shared my interest in a night together. I bid him to go into my castle and await me in my chamber. Whether he was famished or tempted by the meal left upon the table in there, he helped himself heartily. When I found him, he was dead. I had to look into the eyes of his parents and explain that it was my fault. I knew better than to be in that castle. I should have run from anyone who had a spark of interest in me. That is what I know. If I had taken matters into my own hands and emptied my ballocks alone, that man would still live.”
“Chand, you cannot hold yourself responsible for the evil of others,” Killian told him, resting the parchment on his lap to focus on the troubled gaze of his dear friend.
“Listen to Killian, he would not tell you untruths,” Kaedan insisted.
“What of you?” Chander scoffed at the Grand Warlock. “You have not taken a lover in far too many years to count either. Do not judge me for my restraint. You do the same.”
“Our reasons are vastly different,” Kaedan muttered. “I wish for a mate. One who understands me and will share the burden of my title perhaps. A warlock would do fine for me. To be honest, anyone would do fine for me unless he was a dragon. I will not tie myself to anyone lacking in honor or with no respect for the value of life.”
“You speak too broadly,” Chander said. “Killian’s mate is a dragon.”
“If Fate has any mercy, we will learn that he is not among those that prey upon our people,” Kaedan answered.
“How would I know if he was among those who have murdered our people?” Killian asked, his eyes squeezing shut as he contemplated the horror of learning that Dravyn’s beast had been responsible for any of the burned villages they still regularly found.
“You will learn nothing if you do not open the letter,” Kaedan commented softly.
“While I rarely agree with Kaedan,” Chander said, grinning at the Grand Warlock as he lied, “I believe you cannot gain any answers if you leave it unopened.”
The pair sparred, but they shared plenty of the same motivations and philosophies. As did Killian. It was one of the reasons their Council functioned so well.
“You told me to set it afire,” Killian retorted.
“If it were me, I would. But I am not you. And you, thankfully, are not me. I know you think of him often. Despite the time that has passed, I believe you are curious about why Fate put you together.”
“I suppose I need to think a bit prior to glancing at his words,” Killian said. Although he was curious, he was afraid too. Had Dravyn written just to tell him they could never be together? Then again, could he consider a future with a man so eager to ignore him for a century and a half? Killian would have answerednothat morning upon waking after a scant few hours of sleep. But he found himself lost once he laid eyes on his name in Dravyn’s hand.
All his life, he’d been taught to obey Fate. His title and the rewarding role of caring for his people kept Killian’s soul and heart nourished. That was because of her bounty. Could he be so careless as to dismiss Dravyn as a mistake without ever considering that there may be a genuine reason he had waited so long to write?
“No sensible person would judge you for your desire to think about it before you read it,” Kaedan said.
“While you think on it, perhaps we could return to the question of why Kaedan does not wish a man to touch his rod?” Baxter asked.
“I did not say I preferred a man to keep his distance,” Kaedan snapped. “What I grew weary of—and the reason I distanced myself from the idea of finding another lover—is the burden of being Grand Warlock.”
“Plenty of people around us have titles and seek the company of others,” Chander drawled, his concerned gaze still resting on Killian’s face.
Forcing himself to set the scroll on his lap, Killian decided he would wait until nightfall, then read it. To distract himselffrom whatever life-shattering contents it might hold, he turned to Kaedan.
“Chand is right. You seek to make excuses so you need not make yourself vulnerable to anyone.”
“That is not the truth,” Kaedan snarled. “If you must seek knowledge of my private affairs, I will tell you why I prefer the quiet of my chamber at night. It has been an age since any man has assumed that I might wish to have a say in lovemaking. No, they assume that I, as the Grand Warlock, want to bugger them. It is my own arse begging for a man. I do not wish to have another fool writhing beneath me while I stay unfulfilled.”
Killian curled his lips in to hold in his laughter at Kaedan’s angry face, but he lost his battle with hilarity when Chander’s chuckles filled the solar.
“Present yourself arse up next time,” Chander retorted through guffaws.
