Page 160 of Heart of the High King
“We’re going to put together welcome packets with some goodies that have the D’Vaire logo,” Evlithar revealed. “If there were special things you needed right away when you arrived, let any of us know. We’re going to put samples of basic hygienic necessities, and we want some fun things, too.”
“I guess you guys took that little guidebook idea and ran with it,” Kendrick observed.
“Yep, Rafe wants to do everything he can to make sure new people feel welcome,” Renny enthused.
“If that’s everything, then you’re free to enjoy the rest of your evening,” Rafe said, getting to his feet and wandering out of the living room. Opening the door to his bedroom, just as he expected, there was a tall dragon still sleeping in his sturdy four-poster haven.
“Hey, Sander,” Rafe murmured. Setting his tablet aside, he changed into his pajamas. It wasn’t even eight in the evening but he had no plans, so he climbed up next to Aleksander and traced his finger over the part of his arm that was visible above the blankets. There was less than an inch of the mating mark that should’ve been a dragon but was instead a sad outline of a beast who’d long ago crossed the veil, disappointing Rafe and his other half.
“Our meeting’s done, and Jeremiah got approved to be a D’Vaire. He’s a dragon trainer so when you get up, we need to talk about him. Shouldn’t he be a duke? I think there would be outright mutiny if I gave him the title without you. I’m not a leader to them. Kendrick referred to you as ‘TheHigh King,’ and no one corrected him. I know it shouldn’t hurt my feelings, but it did. Isn’t that stupid?”
Rafe shifted so he could lay his head on Aleksander’s chest. The gentle rise and fall as he breathed soothed him, and he liked hearing the beating of his heart. “I have to go to the doctor tomorrow. I hope you get up so you can come with me. I jogged hard for thirty minutes tonight. My endurance is building up, and I like the weapons stuff. Those sentinels are impossible to keep up with, but I like the challenge. Wait until you see how good Madeline, Noirin, and Renny are with their swords. They’re learning faster than everyone else, but nobody is doing terrible.”
Reaching down, Rafe snagged the throw that belonged in the living area. Snuggling with it, he still refused to get under the blankets with Aleksander—not that it mattered, he only slept in snatches. “I feel horrible that I’m a shitty ruler. Fate meant for me to support you as your mate, and I want to do that for you. The sad part is, I understand where the D’Vaires are coming from. I get scared. I have no idea what I’m doing. My dukedom was a damn joke. I had no authority, and they know I left you. The rules of the Council are clear, and I broke them.”
A tear slipped out of one eye, but Rafe ignored it. “I’m sorry for that, you know. I can’t remember if I told you that. So much has happened so fast, sometimes I think I’m still back in that fucking mine holding on to nothing but the dream of you. What if I fail you? I don’t know if I’m good at this mate stuff. I know when I’m with you that we fit. I don’t understand what you see in me, but I’m not going to question it. I refuse to pick it apart and ruin this thing we’ve built. I don’t want to ever disappoint you again, which is why you seriously need to wake up before I fuck up your whole court. I found that box in the living area with the Aleksanta letters. It’s awesome that they call you that, and I cried when I read them. I hope you don’t mind that I peeked in there, but I’m glad I did. It’s beautiful the way they love you.”
The bed shifted, and Rafe scowled as the two wolves climbed up onto the mattress. “What the hell, guys? You’re too damn big to be in the bed with us.”
“Love Rafe. Cuddle.”
“Go cuddle Nox. What the fuck?”
Both animals ignored him as they shifted around until they curled up in a giant mass of fur next to him. “This is ridiculous.”
“Cozy. You talk to Aleksander more.”
“Now I feel stupid.”
“Do it. Aleksander hear you.”
“Sander, wake up and tell these wolves to go to their own damn room,” Rafe muttered. “I thought I was doing a decent job of trying to get people to find some faith in me, but one of them is quite open about their disdain for me. It’s impossible to know if everyone dislikes me that strongly. Are you mad I spent money on weapons and clothes? Larissa hasn’t bought me much. Mostly shoes since I don’t want stuff I’m going to outgrow soon. I don’t see you objecting to a room for Nox and Mortis, but maybe I was too extravagant? I guess I need to get some kind of concept of money.”
“Love new room. Nox make Mortis very happy in private. We hump.”
“I swear to Fate, Mortis, if you start talking about wolf sex, I’m kicking you both right the fuck out of here.”
“Now Mortis know why Rafe yell so much when Aleksander on top of him.”
Rafe smacked a hand over his face and couldn’t believe he was blushing at the words of his crazy wolf. “It wasn’t until this minute I realized what a fucking freak I am. Ironic isn’t it, since my mate’s the High King of them. I miss you, Sander. It wasn’t until I met you that I understood what genuine love feels like. My feelings for you help wash away the ugliness inside me. Thank you for being my best friend. I know I’m strong. I can work hard, and I do have things to offer the world. But you, Sander…you make me feel invincible.”
