Page 193 of Heart of the High King
Chapter 72
Dinner was awkward, but Kendrick was at least on speaking terms with Noirin, though the friction was obvious.
“Noir’s pissed,” Aleksander said when they were alone in their suite.
“Can’t blame her. Kendrick kept his shit a secret.”
Aleksander lifted a dark brow. “You kept a secret from me, too.”
“Yeah, well, it was for your own good. I needed to deal with Kendrick, not have you mow him down with dragon fire.”
“Are you okay with everything now?”
“Yeah, I can understand his point of view. I think he handled it shitty, but maybe in the future he’ll think before he says anything awful to someone.”
“I hope you’ll remember that you don’t need to be his punching bag. Call him out if he messes with you again.”
“I just froze,” Rafe confessed. “I feel like I’ve spent so much time overwhelmed by everything, and I couldn’t let a war start under our roof. Dra’Kaedan called my life a dumpster fire and he’s right.”
There was a knock on the door, and Aleksander rose to answer it. “Yeah, just remember I’ll be your personal fireman anytime you want.”
“Maybe we should get you a costume or something.”
Rolling his eyes, Aleksander left the living area and Rafe lounged on the sofa prepared to relax with his mate when he returned with two people in tow. Both had red-rimmed eyes, but they appeared more in sync then when he’d last seen the pair. “Hey, guys,” Rafe offered to Noirin and Kendrick. “What’s up?”
“After I groveled to get Noir to forgive me for being a vile fucking dick, we decided to go through the box of my mom’s stuff,” Kendrick said, handing Rafe a book that appeared to be a journal or diary. “I’ve never seen this before; I just grabbed everything and packed it.”
“Why are you giving this to me?”
“Open it.”
Once Aleksander was seated next to him, he did as he was told and on the first page were the words “For Rafe” written in a beautiful cursive. His brows drew together with confusion. “I’m confused. What’s inside?” Rafe asked, not sure if he even wanted to know.
“It’s not for me. I didn’t read it,” Kendrick answered.
“Okay,” Rafe replied. A kiss landed on his temple as he flipped to the second page and found it was a letter. Deciding it was only fair, he patted the sofa and waited until Kendrick and Noirin were seated to start reading.
October 12, 1906
Dearest Rafe,
I have packed my belongings and will be leaving in the morning, though I am forbidden from explaining it to you. I find myself writing this though I cannot imagine that you will ever lay eyes upon it. You see, I am expecting again. Just like the last time, it is Charlton’s baby. For all his faults, I must confess I love him though not the way I did in my youth. I was a mere teenager when we met, and he swept me off my feet with promises of a future despite us not being mates. I became pregnant. Hardly more than a child myself, I would’ve done anything to please Charlton.
And what Charlton wanted most was to keep my unborn to himself and so afraid that I would not be invited back to his bed, I agreed. I kept my position in the castle and from afar watched my son grow up. I named him Rafferty though he was always Rafe to me.
Rafe had to take a moment to let out a heavy, shuddering breath. All those years he’d wanted her for a mother, and she’d never told him. Aleksander wrapped an arm around his shoulder and tugged him close. Grateful for his mate, their love gave him the strength to keep going.
You have my curls and some perverse part of me loves how much it annoys your father. That is one piece of me he cannot rob from you. You were such a darling child that never noticed how much Sullivan resented you for stealing his spotlight. Your interests were the same as his because that’s what Charlton insisted upon. That morning of your dragon shift, I finally convinced Charlton to reveal the truth. He promised me just as soon as you had your beast, you’d be strong enough to learn of your parentage. Only you shocked us by being the darkest in the court and it sealed your destiny. I couldn’t rob you of your dukedom and both Charlton and I knew it would forever change the way you fit in Court Kestle if you understood your mother was a lowly servant.
But as a mother, when the centuries passed, I grew angry that Charlton and Sullivan had warped your mind. So kind and patient, you were also gullible and wanted to please them. I wanted you to see through their cunning, but you did not. When I found out I was carrying Charlton’s child again, I refused to watch another one of my babies call me Molly instead of Mom. I want to make sure my next child has the strength he or she needs to please themselves instead of everyone around them.
I made a bargain with Charlton. If I never tell you the truth and if I keep your brother or sister ignorant of it as well, I can keep my baby. I leave knowing I’ve done the right thing and that although I’m sacrificing my relationship with you it will not ever be something I regret. I loved the boy that you were Rafe, and I wish I hadn’t allowed Charlton such sway over you but there is no way to rewrite the past.
Good luck, my dear boy.
With all my love, Mom
Although there was probably more than one letter in the book, Rafe closed it and handed it to Kendrick. “I don’t want this.”
