Page 108 of Heart of the High King
“You’ll feel better when the drugs wear off,” Aleksander told him softly. “Just get some rest and we’ll talk, okay? I promise you everything is going to work out. Trust me.”
“I do trust you.”
Aleksander put a finger against Rafe’s mouth as he dropped a kiss on his forehead. “No talking. Go to sleep.”
Rafe simply nodded as Aleksander went back to running his fingertips on the skin of his hand.
“It’s been a long day, and you need time to recuperate.”
His voice was becoming almost hypnotic, and Rafe welcomed the idea of escaping from this new phase of hell that he’d entered. Signing the consent form had allowed this atrocity to happen, and there was no guarantee that just because his open sores were gone that Sorcery D’Vaire could do anything about the rest of his issues. Now that he would live forever, Rafe bemoaned that he would have to do it in his condition. While Aleksander might be optimistic, his upbeat attitude would disappear when he faced reality.
With no idea how to be a full partner to Aleksander, he supposed the only fair thing to do was allow him to have relationships outside their matebond. Rafe was in no condition for intimacy, and he was too horribly embarrassed to ever undress in front of the man. They could be the best of friends, but they would never be lovers, and it broke Rafe’s heart.
It was rather ironic after centuries of confusion over his sexuality and finally unlocking when he grew attracted to Aleksander that now he’d have to keep it tucked away forever. The thought of the way he would give himself to others would no doubt drive Rafe slowly mad, and he wondered at the cruelty of his fate. As Rafe succumbed to the pull of his medications, he was plagued by an image of watching Aleksander disappear into a room with a faceless man. What shattered him was the smile on Aleksander’s face, and he wanted to hurt him for biting him in the first place. But in the end, it was Rafe who’d returned and agreed to the treatment, so once again the blame fell on his shoulders.
