Page 63 of Becoming D'Vaire
Delaney pushed his blanket down and ran a hand through his hair as he sat more upright against the velvet headboard. “How did things go? Finish anything major?”
Sweat pooled as he stared at Delaney. He struggled to understand why it was so awkward between them or why they were not acting as they normally did together. It was terrifying, and it was the first time he’d ever wanted to run from Delaney’s side. Trying to shake off his strange reaction, he focused on Delaney’s question. “I got my latest blood solution to last five minutes. All the others separated a few seconds after I mixed them.”
“So one step closer.”
“Yeah.”
“That’s good.”
“Should I go? I mean I didn’t call first or anything,” Grigori blurted out as he swiped his palms over his jeans. He hated when his body went haywire—especially when he had no way to explain it.
“What? No, I just wasn’t expecting to see you. I guessed you were engrossed in your lab.”
“I should’ve stayed at my parents’. I’ll go. This feels weird and I don’t like it. It’s not supposed to be this way between us. We’re normally on the same page. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Grigori was fully prepared to teleport out, but it was Delaney who shimmered away. Seconds later, he materialized right in front of him and Delaney grabbed his arm. “No, don’t go. Sorry, it’s me. I was just thinking about stuff, then you showed up. I just need to shake off some shit, and we’ll be back to us.”
“What do you mean? What’s wrong?”
Delaney shook his head and dropped his arm to his side. Then he turned and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Just really stupid fucking shit. I can’t even say it out loud. Especially not to you.”
His body’s overreactions forgotten, Grigori pinned him with a hard stare. “Why not to me? I thought we were determined to be friends as well as lovers. That’s the kind of relationship I believed we both wanted. One I thought we already had.”
“We are. It’s just—look, I don’t even want to think this stuff, let alone say it. I wouldn’t tell anyone. Not you. Not Idris. Not another living being. Not even Greggory.”
“I’m that person you tell everything to, even when it’s stupid. That’s what I want from my mate.”
After raking his hands through his hair, Delaney glanced up at him again. “I need to know exactly what you want from a mate. We don’t talk about those things. I don’t know where we’re supposed to be in our relationship. That’s the kind of stupid shit I’m talking about that is in my head lately.”
“Why is that stupid shit?”
“Tell me, Grigori. Tell me what kind of timeline we’re supposed to be on. What kind of feelings am I supposed to have? Because I’ll be honest, I don’t think we’re on the same page.”
“Would you like me to tell you how I feel?”
Delaney nodded emphatically. “Yes. Yes, I would.”
“I love you.”
Grigori didn’t know what he expected when he confessed what was in his heart, but a wizard staring at him blankly wouldn’t have been his first guess. Then he smiled, and fireworks went off inside Grigori’s soul. Until the grin faded and the dark eyes grew troubled. “Shit, Grigori. I love you too.”
“But you aren’t happy about it.”
Delaney hopped to his feet and wound his arms around Grigori, who reluctantly held him back. He was being forced onto a roller coaster of emotions and like the real ones, it made Grigori want to throw up.
“I’m scared,” his strong wizard whispered. “Is love supposed to grow this fast? Are we ready? How do we know if we’re not? What if we have some big fight and wind up drawing up separation papers? Why is this sohard?”
His words soothed all the jagged edges he’d cut into Grigori. “I’m scared of those things too. I think we’re ready, or we wouldn’t be in love. Who cares if it went faster than we believed it would? You make me happy. I hope I do the same for you. I think we’re supposed to be a little frightened—it’ll keep us from destroying our relationship because of something stupid.”
Delaney stared up at him. His beautiful eyes were hopeful, but there was still fear lurking in the darkness. “I was sitting here watching this movie and I couldn’t focus on it. I kept thinking about how I wished you were with me. Then I reminded myself we both have lives and things to do on our own. So I focused on how good it is when we’re together. My idiotic brain starts creating pictures of our mating ceremony, you feeding from me, and shit like that. I have to beat it up and tell it to slow the fuck down, but I love you. I can’t help but want everything. Then you pop in here, and I’m scared I’m going to shout out my heart.”
“I’m glad you did. I want those things too. I want to live here permanently and share our bed with you. I want to stand out in the garden where Idris and Mac had their ceremony and pledge my heart to you. I want you to wear my collar, so everyone knows Fate gave me an amazing gift. Instead of asking ourselves if we’re moving too fast, we should be wondering what the hell we’re waiting for.”
“Are you serious? You want to schedule our matebond ceremony?”
Grigori kissed him, then smiled. “As soon as possible.”
“Can I add Volkov to my name?”
