Page 9 of Consequences
“When Tennant recovers—and I know he will, because he’s too much of a son of a bitch to stay down for long—talk. Don’t let him walk away. Don’t pretend everything is alright. Lean on each other. You’re both strong, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be vulnerable together.”
Tears roll down Benjamin's face again and he presses against me, burying himself in my arms. “Fuck. Why can’t you let me hate you? To blame you for everything?”
I laugh, freer than I have been before. “Sorry, Little Mouse. You’re still stuck with me, even if it’s only friendship.”
Sighing, he places his hand over my heart. “I still love you. I don’t know how it works. I wish I did. I’m not even sure what type of love this is anymore. Romantic? Friendship? I don’t know. All I know is, I never want you to leave completely. It’s selfish of me. I know you have Roman, and I have Tennant. But…fuck, I’m messing this all up.”
I swallow hard, one tear escaping me, and shake my head, even though he can’t see it. “No, Sweetheart. You’re not messing it up. I love you, too. It may be a confusing mess of emotions, but…I’ve got your back. Always.”
“Do you think they’ll be okay?”
“Well, they are out of surgery. They’re both recovering. And I dare the fucking grim reaper to try and beat either of the doctors. They both have fucking egos for a reason—hell, the devil himself could come up and Doc and Dr. Ranlen would just send him back. They’re not going to let any of their charges go.” Benjamin giggles at my nonsensical sayings, but finally relaxes.
“I’m so tired… Will you stay?” he whispers, without moving an inch.
“Of course.” I rub his back gently until he falls asleep on me. It’s getting really uncomfortable to be in this position, but I stay, watching over him, and hopefully protecting him from thenightmares that try to sneak into his head. For him, it appears I’ll always stay.Fuck.
Straightening my suit jacket, and making sure the pleats of my skirt are laying just so, I take a deep breath and steel myself for what I’m about to walk into. I wish I had a new suit, one that I could wear into this particular battle, but the black and burgundy one will have to do. The confidence it gave me in my first meeting as the Amato Boss is what I need again.
Only this time, it is not with my friend and equal, Lio, that I am meeting with, but his Master and my dad. Two men who are formidable and have shaped our Families into what they are today with their bare and bloodied hands. Somehow, I need to stand in front of them and show them I haven’t earned my spot at their table, but rather, they’re currently sitting atmine.
A position I don’t deserve.
Shaking that thought away, I shove any doubt and guilt to the far recesses of my mind. Now isn’t the time for any hesitation.
Taking another fortifying breath, I open the door to the office and stride in. Dad and Il Padrone are sitting side by side in front of the desk, and when they look up at my sudden entrance, I have to remind myself of who I am, and what I’ve been doing in their stead.
It’s easier said than done, but somehow, I make it across the office and stand in front of them. Crossing my feet at the ankles, showing off my new low-heeled boots, I lean against the desk, arms planted behind my back. I’m going for as casual and nonchalant as possible, pretending I know what the hell I’m doing.
“I’m sure liquor isn’t a Doc-approved way to get fluids,” I say calmly, nodding to the crystal tumblers in their hands.
“If you went through what we did,” Il Padrone says casually, “You’d also need a drink.”
My teeth click together, as I bite back the first scathing words that come to mind. Instead, I slide my arm out from behind me and show off my right hand. “I did,” I say calmly. “Only I wasfifteenwhen they took me and stole my finger. When they made me scream so my father could hear… When they almostrapedme.”
I smile—though I don’t imagine it’s a nice expression—my lips twisting as the dark hatred and pain I normally keep buried spills through me.
“Almost being the keyword there. It was the first time I killed someone without my dad or Tennant supervising. So, with all due respect, Allesandro, do not think I don’t understand. Because I. Fucking. Do.”
Intense blue eyes, not as cold as Ten’s, but close, bore into mine. If he thinks I’ll back down, he is dead wrong. I didn’t go through everything I have, back then or now, to be such an easy mark.
“It’s been a long few weeks, Roman,” Dad says. “For everyone. Cut us a little slack, and don’t tell Doc, or Carter.”
“Speaking of Dad,” I reply, ignoring the surprise and pleasure in my father’s eyes when he hears the title I’ve finally given Carter. “Why aren’t you with him? I know he’s babysitting Cole while Keegan and Marcus are at the hospital, but I’m sure he would rather have you by his side than in here.”
“There’s work to be done,” Dad answers. “Carter understands.”
“Does he? Or are you just hoping he does, so you can sit in here and plot guilt-free, when we all know you should be resting! You know he has Cole, so he won’t push you, because he’d never let down that little boy.”
“Cole has plenty of uncles to care for him,” Il Padrone says. “I’m sure they’d step in if Carter needed a break.”
I shake my head. “That’s not the point and you know it. Both of you should be resting and recovering from the trauma you’ve just been through.”
“Oh yes, because it’s so easy to rest when Emilio is suffering and I can’t be with him. Do not speak of things you do not understand.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “I don’t understand? Did you forget who else is currently fighting for their life? Oh yeah, Tennant. My love, the heart and soul to the three of us.”—almost too late do I catch myself. But disclosing the shifting relationships between the Amatos and Martellis isn’t my job, not now at least.
When the time comes, I’ll find the courage to stand with Ignacio and confess, but that’s anusproblem… Everyone else? I wish them luck.
