Page 15 of The Bro Date
I make my way to the end of the small dock, setting my violin case on the wooden bench tucked against the railing. Wind whistles in my ears, and a chill seeps through my hoodie, but I don’t let it stop me. I lugged my violin all the way out here, so Ineedto get some practice in before Shane arrives. The lake is one of the few places I can go without bothering anyone or anyone bothering me.
Music has always been my escape, ever since my parents forced me into piano lessons that I ended up loving, and even more so when I chose the violin in fifth-grade music class.
I pop open my case and carefully lift my pride and joy from its black velvet home. Tucking the chin rest under my chin, I allow my jaw to rest comfortably in the curved wood and assume proper posture. I warm up with some open string work, scales, and broken thirds before I jump into the fun part.
My bow glides against the strings like butter, and my body begins to move with the sounds of “Pink Pony Club,” completely forgetting the pain in my knee. I give it everything I’ve got, releasing all of the anger and resentment building up toward my parents, and the fear of coming out. I dance and play my violin until I’m panting and out of breath with a huge smile on my face.
Damn. I needed that.
By the time I play a few more of my favorite songs, evening has turned to night. The moon reflects against the still surface of the lake, shining brightly and illuminating the surrounding forest. It’s beautiful out here where the peace of nature brings a clarity my soul desperately needed.
Loud, slow claps startle me, and I nearly drop my bow into the water, spinning around to find Shane at the far end of the dock.
“Shit!You scared me!” I shout, clutching my chest.
The wooden slats creak as Shane makes his way to my end of the dock. “That was amazing, Toby,” he says, standing in front of me with both hands in his pockets. “You were born to play. Don’t listen to your parents.”
“Thank you,” I murmur shyly, setting my violin in its case as the anxiety starts to return. The anticipation of finally coming out to Shane is terrifying me right now. My heart starts to pound against my ribcage as if I’m being chased by a wild animal.
What if he knows I’m in love with him?
And what if he hates me for it?
My mind starts to spiral, and my breathing picks up.
What if I lose him?
Oh God. I don’t know if I can do this right now.
“Toby, what’s going on? You can talk to me,” Shane urges, and my stomach fills with angry butterflies wanting to take flight. Ineedto tell him. I can’t keep putting it off. It’s not right to hide from the one person who’s always been there for me.
“I . . .”
Why am I so scared to say the words to him?
“You what, Tobes?” His brows crease with concern. The moon reflects in his dark eyes, sparkling with pure intensity and a deep compassion. A connection thatI knowcould never be compromised.
With a deep breath and shaky exhale, I steel my resolve the best I can and speak my truth with my head held high. “I’m gay, Shane.”
His expression relaxes slightly, the tension in his shoulders softening, but he doesn’t move a muscle. My words hang in the air between us, the wind picking them up and carrying them away, leaving nothing behind but the sound of crickets chirping and gentle waves lapping against the pilings below.
“I like guys,” I explain as if he doesn’t know the meaning of the word. “And I’ve decided that I’m ready to explore that part ofmyself.” I quickly shut up before I start rambling about how gay I am.
Say something, Shane.
Please.
He takes a step toward me and holds his palm out with a small smile on his lips. Relief washes over me, and I place my hand in his, electricity dancing along the surface of my skin where we touch. “I’m happy for you, Toby.Really.This changes nothing between us,” he assures me, and his simple words relieve so much stress. “I hope you weren’t scared to tell me.”
A deep weight lifts off my shoulders, and I launch myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and squeezing tightly. I resist the urge to wrap my legs around his waist, letting them dangle instead. “You’re the first person I’ve told,” I whisper into his ear. “I was scared in general.”
Shane returns my embrace before setting me back on my feet. “Have you . . . are you dating anyone?” he asks, seeming a little unsure to do so. This is unfamiliar territory. Neither of us has ever dated anyone, although I’ve heard rumors of Shane hooking up with tourists from time to time. We just never talk about it.
“Um . . .” I hesitate to answer even though he’s straight and shouldn’t care at all. “No, but I really want to.” I chuckle awkwardly at how pathetic that sounds before pressing my palms to my eyes and slightly dying inside.
Big, cold hands wrap around my wrists, gently pulling them away from my flushed face. “Don’t be embarrassed. You deserve to be happy, Tobes.” Shane pulls out a paper swan from his back pocket, presenting it to me on his palm. “Just please don’t get hurt, or I’m kicking someone’s ass. Got it?”
My heart skips a beat at his words, and I take the swan, smiling with fondness. Shane has been into origami ever since we were kids. It was something his therapist suggested thatactually stuck with him. I used to find them everywhere, and I meaneverywhere. On the playground, in my backpack, locker, and all around my room. Sometimes the housekeeper accidentally washed them in my pants pockets.
