Page 69 of Choosing Forever
“I won’t lose you.”
22
PRESENT
DARREN
Tonight,in the driver’s seat of my car, I’m fifteen all over again.
My mustache is saving me from having to swipe at a sweaty upper lip as Delaney examines the fry pinched between her fingers, most likely deciding if I was lying or not about the extra salt. For the record, I wasn’t. The waitress at the diner who took my order was new, and I could tell she was slightly disturbed by the contents of it, but that was the last thing I cared about. There was only one person’s opinion on my mind, and she’s sitting beside me.
I miss her. Present tense, never past. There hasn’t been a single day where I haven’t wished she were right beside me. Even without speaking to one another, I feel a rush of contentment and comfort that not a single other person on this earth has given me.
I’ll never be able to take back the mistakes I’ve made. I was too young and stupid to recognize them as they were happening in real time, but I’m older now. Much older. I’ve got everything I’ve ever wanted but her. My Elle.
“Do they pass inspection?” I ask, attempting to keep my tone as smooth as possible.
Delaney pinches the fry harder before nipping at the end of it. A beat later, she swallows and then says, “They’ll do.”
“The waitress will be glad to hear that.”
That draws her attention. No longer evading my eyes, she blinks at me pointedly. “Oh?”
“She was new and absolutely thought I was high with a serious case of the munchies.”
She snorts in disbelief. “You? High? She must have just moved here.”
“Is it so out of pocket to think I’d ever get high? Weed is legalized, you know?” I tease, chomping two fries into my mouth.
Her pale pink nails tap at the edge of her Styrofoam milkshake cup. “You hardly drank, let alone smoked. Unless that’s changed?”
“I drink beer.”
“Sixteen-year-old girls drink beer too.”
I grin, unable to help myself. “For someone who claims they don’t want to take any shots at each other today, you came prepared with a few.”
“That one was low-hanging fruit. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry.” Bringing my straw to my lips, I spread out more comfortably in my seat and eye her drink. “Does your shake taste the same as it used to?”
She follows my stare. “It does.”
“Good.”
“Yeah.”
The threat of awkward silence lingers, testing me. I take a few gulps of my strawberry shake before setting it in the cup holder and turning enough to stare straight at Delaney. She’s reluctant to look at me, and I’m desperate enough for her attention that it’s easy to convince myself it’s because she’s nervous. Not that she just doesn’t actually want to be here with me.
Fuck, that thought could break my heart if I let it.
“I’m sorry. For everything, yes, but mostly for how I handled what happened that night. I shouldn’t have forced you away like that. I should have realized the mistake I made and chased you down the highway before you could get on your plane.”
Delaney stops breathing. I hold mine too.
“So why didn’t you?” she asks, voice thready.
“I thought we were better off. All of the fighting and the things we said that we didn’t mean . . . The distance that felt much farther than it really was. It seemed like the right idea at the time, but by the time I realized it wasn’t, it was too late. I couldn’t just call you up and ask for you to give me another chance.”
