Page 33 of Lucky or Knot
But I was faster than he was, and I launched myself off the bed and into his path, forcing him to fetch up short, inches from touching me. He stumbled back a step.
“I’m not just going to leave,” I said. “Not without—”
“Without what?” he demanded. “There’s nothing to say. Nothing to do here. Fuck, fine. If you truly feel that I owe you, as soon as I’m reasonably able to do so, I will send you the equivalent monetary value of the coin. You have my word. Are you happy now? Will you please stand aside? And then go. Please.”
If it hadn’t been for that secondplease, which never would’ve left his mouth if he hadn’t been desperate, I probably would’ve done any one of the dozen things I burned to do. Grab him, kiss him breathless, bear him back down onto that wreck of a bed and wreck it, and him, a whole lot more.
But he’d said it. He’d asked me not to touch him, to leave him alone. He’daskedme.
It took every bit of willpower I had. Raven standing there nude and gleaming and rumpled, with my come dripping down his beautiful thighs, could’ve tempted a saint. And I wasn’t any saint.
I clenched my fists, claws pricking my palms, and I stepped aside.
“Oh,” Raven gasped, and he hesitated, eyes darting away from my face and then back again.
Had it shocked him that much that I hadn’t simply taken what I wanted? Gods. I held my breath. Maybe he’d change his mind…
And then he walked past me, eyes fixed ahead of him, and shut the bathroom door behind him with a terribly final click.
The shower came on with a rattle and whoosh, but I couldn’t hear anything else, and with my alpha hearing in play, that meant he had to be standing perfectly still and practically not breathing. He hadn’t locked the door, either. I’d have heard the extra snick from the doorknob if he had.
Was he waiting for me to ignore him and follow him into the bathroom? Take him in my arms and get in the shower with him, and then, what, whisper to him that I’d make everything all right? Protect him from Cunningham, help him think of another way out?
My laugh echoed bitterly in the quiet of the room.
Yeah. Right.
That was my fantasy, not his. He just wanted me gone, a complication that he’d enjoyed more than he expected to, maybe, but that he really didn’t fucking need.
So I dressed as quickly as I could, ignoring that I needed to piss and wash up myself. The alley behind the parking lot would take care of the first, and I’d be home soon enough to get in my own shower for the second.
To make it clear to him that I’d done what he wanted, I tossed the room keys on the nightstand, and then I slipped out and shut the door firmly behind me before I could rethink it yet again.
For a long moment, I stood there in the hall, letting the miserable gray and brown of the carpet and wallpaper blur in my vision, my mind’s eye full of Raven: in the shower, tipping his head back so he could slick his long hair down his neck; leaning against the wall, forehead resting on his arm, the water beatingdown on his round, rosy ass and washing away every trace of me.
And then stepping out of the bathroom, towel around his waist and hair dripping everywhere, all shiny and scrubbed and pink.
Looking around for me, maybe. Even though he’d commanded me to go, somehow I knew he’d be taken aback by the gloomy, sordid emptiness of the dingy room and the ruined bed. He’d see the keys there. He’d know I’d really gone.
Would he be relieved or secretly, horribly disappointed?
I’d probably never know.
I shook my head and walked away, every step feeling like I had weights on my ankles.
But I went. And I didn’t look back.
Chapter 11
Morning dawned at last after a sleepless remainder of the night, and the day crawled by in work and laundry and mundane bullshit.
And then another night. And another day.
Thoughts of Raven crowded into my mind more or less all the time: in the shower, making a sandwich, rubbing glitter on my abs, dancing and smiling and pretending I gave a shit.
Cold desert winds whipped through Vegas, bringing the scent of mountain snow. And even though shifters ran hot and alphas even hotter, a chill settled in my bones and wouldn’t leave me.
I had Raven’s phone number, and anyway, we were probably within a mile of each other on a daily basis. Practically shouting distance; definitely a tiger’s roaring distance.
