Page 16 of Lost Touch
“That was uncalled for,” he said in a low growl.
What part of what I’d done? I could think of a few things, but I didn’t know what to apologize for. What to say to abate his anger. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—anything, whatever it is, I didn’t mean—”
“Not you! Fuck, Ash, me. What I said to you just now. I hate everything about this, except you. And I’d never hurt you. I don’t care how fucking angry I get. I was an asshole, and maybe I’ll be an asshole again, and I’m sorry. I’m still kind of—less balanced than I thought, I guess. But I will never, ever hurt you.”
A shaky laugh that sounded almost more like a sob hitched out of me, my eyes watering. “No, because no one can hurt me. Kill me, yeah, anyone could do that, because I’m so pathetic and weak. But you couldn’t hurt me even if you wanted to. Thank you, evil warlocks, right?”
Slowly, so slowly, Drew closed the distance between us, reaching out once he’d gotten close enough to touch.
I didn’t move. I didn’t want to startle him, for one thing, and for another…I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, Iknewit, but Drew was a predator and had a family of predators who wanted to kill me, and I couldn’t get all my warring instincts under control. It left me frozen with indecision.
Drew brushed his fingers down my cheek, so gently I almost couldn’t feel it, stroked his hand along the curve of my neck, and let it rest on my shoulder, squeezing me just as gently. He bent down so he could look right into my eyes.
I let myself fall into his, taking a deep breath, savoring the warmth of his hand.
“I used you to get my family off my back,” he said quietly. “And—”
No, I couldn’t let that pass. Even as pissed as I’d been and as afraid as I’d realized I ought to be of the situation.
“You saved my life. Drew, you saved it twice—”
“Yeah, I did, and I also used you without your consent. They’re not mutually exclusive.” He stroked over my collarbone with his thumb, calluses creating such an odd sensation on my soft skin that wasn’t pleasure, wasn’t pain: friction, texture, heat. “You owe me, but I owe you, too.” He quirked a smile at me. “For putting my mom in her place earlier, too, when I didn’t have the balls. That wasn’t the smartest, but fuck, it was awesome. Ash, listen to me. Maybe once you owe someone enough back and forth, you don’t need to keep track anymore, okay? I trust you. I’m on your side, like I said. I wouldn’t hurt you, and I’ll keep anyone else from hurting you, and…can we be on each other’s sides? And trust each other?”
Can you trust me?He hadn’t asked that, but that was what he meant.
And that almost made me laugh again, because no matter how much part of me shied away from the alpha werewolf side of him, I couldn’tnottrust him. Partly because I didn’t have anyone else, and partly because most of my mind and body wanted to curl up in his arms and let him do whatever he wanted as long as he kept me warm.
“Us against the world?” I asked softly. His eyes lit up, and I smiled after all, unable to hold it back. “I trust you too.”
His other hand came up to rest on my other shoulder, and he pulled me a little closer. I let myself be reeled in until I leaned against his chest, closing my eyes and breathing him in.
“Yeah, us against the world,” he murmured into my hair. “We’ve got a month without interference. We’ll make a plan, we’ll rest and regroup. We’ll figure out the deal with your warrant. It’ll be all right, Ash. I promise you.”
I knew that wasn’t a promise he could make. But I nodded against his chest anyway, and I smiled when he leaned his head down on mine and held me close, all my fears pushed away.
Chapter 6
So Very Fucking Wrong
At first, a month sounded like plenty of time to make a plan. I spent the first couple of days sleeping a lot and avoiding thinking—or God forbid, doing anything—about what I’d learned of my previous life. Maybe denial wasn’t the healthiest way of dealing with it, but my mind and my body simply couldn’t handle any more shocks.
On the fourth day I asked Drew for a laptop, and I settled in on the couch with a hot cup of tea—chosen because it had no texture at all and almost no smell, and therefore didn’t startle me when it only tasted like “hot”—to buckle down and finally face the facts. If I could find any facts, anyway.
Internet searches proved less than fruitful. I found an article in a local paper from a medium-sized town in Southern California mentioning that I was still being sought, having stolen a car after an altercation and disappeared. It had a phone number for tips, which forced a bitter little laugh out of me. Yeah, maybe I should call it myself. I could ask them if they knew anything about me.
But that was it. Presumably I’d lived in that small town, but more searches for my name along with the town’s name didn’t come up with anything.
When I thought of doing a search for social media profiles, I came up with zilch. So either I’d used a fake name or a nickname to set one up, I hadn’t had one, or it’d been deleted in the intervening time. Bottom line, it didn’t help me.
Basically, it seemed like I’d never done anything interesting or worthy of internet indexing in my life before I supposedly knocked a guy out—someone a lot larger and stronger than me, given the single photo I found of the victim—and vanished with his car, which had later been found totaled a few miles away.
I simply couldn’t wrap my head around it. Fourteen months ago. That tracked with my vague sense of time passing while I’d been imprisoned, I guessed, but I couldn’t remember anything. I truly didn’t feel like the kind of person who’d act like that. Even if I’d been physically capable of overpowering him and taking his car, which seemed even more unlikely. Had I had accomplices? I didn’t feel like much of a gang member, either. And the article hadn’t mentioned the victim saying anyone else had been there.
When I consulted Drew, he took what little I’d learned and promised to start some more detailed public records searches.
And then he disappeared into his Batcave.
Which, to be fair, contained the computers he might want to use for those searches. Or for all the work he’d mentioned needing to catch up on, seeing as he owned a business and everything. On the other hand, it kind of felt like an excuse to go into his office and get a closed door between him and me.
