Page 38 of Lost Touch

I could go either way on that.

Shutting the bathroom door allowed me a moment to take a breath, anyway.

Should I shower? Would there be any point? I had to be so disgusting, but would he even care? Hehadbeen staring at my ass, I was sure of it. On the other hand, a conveniently-sized hole in a tree had probably started looking pretty good to him, the way he’d been the last couple of weeks.

God. I pissed, washed my hands, and brushed my teeth, even though kissing wouldn’t be on the menu.

My face—well, I looked like someone who’d gotten thoroughly fucked, with the tangled hair and too-bright eyes and swollen lips, the last lingering from that blowjob, to prove it. And then I’d slept on a wrinkled pillowcase, so that I could have weird creases along my cheek in addition.

Lovely.

No more stalling. Drew hadn’t moved when I opened the bedroom door, and he lay on his side, dark eyes gleaming. The up-and-down inspection he gave me reassured me. It didn’t suggest disgust, anyway, even if it made me blush fiery-hot.

I slipped back into bed, hesitating before turning over and putting my back to him again. He clearly wanted to fuck me that way, and I’d already decided he’d be calling the shots.

With a sigh, Drew wrapped his arm heavily over my waist again, tugging me close and pushing his hips against my ass, his cock finding its unerring way back between my cheeks.

“I didn’t really fuck you again last night,” he said quietly. He didn’t start opening me, didn’t thrust; he seemed content to simply stay there. “I had to—move a little. Enough to get off, so I could get my knot out of you eventually. But I didn’t—fuck, Ash.” A beat passed. “I really fucking wanted to,” he growled in my ear.

I noticed my breath coming a little faster, my muscles tensing. Could you experience arousal without, you know, being aroused? Because that shiver down my spine and the way I felt like I wanted to be closer to him…I didn’t know how else to explain it except as desire.

Too bad I couldn’t really enjoy it. Buthisenjoyment…I flashed back to the night before when I’d lain under him, the passive recipient of his hard thrusts and groans of pleasure and the grip of those powerful hands.

And had an additional flash of what we must have looked like after I’d fallen asleep: Drew braced over my unconscious body, biceps bulging with the strain of holding himself back from pounding into me again. Rocking his hips, gasping, gazing down at me with glowing alpha eyes…

I shuddered, squeezing my eyes closed against the impact of it.

It had to be a contact high.

And it took me a second to remember what he’d said.

“Why didn’t you, then?” It came out a breathy moan.

Drew nuzzled me behind my ear, tongue darting out to flick at my neck. “Gods, you taste good,” he rumbled. And then sighed. “I don’t want to be an alpha like my family thinks an alpha should be,” he said in a rush, like he couldn’t quite get his thoughts, or his words, in order. “Jesus, that sounds stupid. I mean always taking what I want. Thinking I’m entitled to take what I want. Like the world owes me something for being on the top of the food chain. I’ve always tried to be thoughtful. With lovers.”

He stopped abruptly, and I held my breath for a second, waiting for the punchline.

It didn’t come.

“Thoughtful how?” I prompted him. He didn’t seem thoughtless to me. He’d been so careful with me. Although his characterization of the way he’d fucked me as “brutalizing me” made me think he usually held himself to a much more stringent standard.

A shift of Drew’s hips reminded me of the unflagging erection still pressing against me, getting closer to pushing inside with every minute motion of his body. The head of it rubbed gently over my hole, now, so close to penetrating me.

Screw it. I pushed back, wriggling my hips until the head pressed harder.

And then in, sliding past that tight little muscle easily enough.

“Fuck,” Drew gasped. “Fuck, that feels…you’re still wet.”

With a low groan and a quick thrust, he buried a few more inches inside me. He didn’t move for a moment.

“Thoughtful,” he said breathlessly, his hand splaying over my collarbones and pinning me in place as he went a little deeper. “Like not fucking someone while he’s asleep. Or fucking you like this, even though you can’t enjoy it. Because I want you. Because you’re here and you’re not saying no.”

“I’m not only not saying no, I’m saying yes.” Another thrust knocked the air out of me, and I panted for a second before I could manage, “I’m saying permanently yes. You can always take what you want. It’s okay.”

“Okay isn’t enough! Fuck,” he groaned, and shoved his cock all the way in, his hipbones digging into the cheeks of my ass. “It’s not enough to be okay. You don’t get it.” Another thrust, harder this time, like he’d started to lose control. The arm around me had clamped down almost too hard, making it difficult to get a full breath.

I laid my hand on his forearm and petted him, the corded muscles and the soft hair and the heat of him.

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