Page 26 of Lost Touch

Bottom line…I wanted Drew to feel better. I wanted him to be happy and relaxed. And thinking that way felt pathetic as hell, because I ought to be more concerned about myself, shouldn’t I? But I kept coming back to it.

I had to do something to help him, since he’d done so much to help me. Wanting him not to flip out and maul me played a role, but…honestly, truly, I ached to give him some of the comfort and care he’d lavished on me so generously. He’d saved my life and taken me out of that place, protected me from his family, cared for all my bodily needs for weeks while he nursed me back to health, fed and clothed and housed me, and loyally given not one single fuck about my possible violent criminal past.

I could, like…jerk him off, couldn’t I? I mean, that wasn’t so much to ask. Especially since he wasn’t asking. I’d be offering. Aside from when he couldn’t control his instincts, he’d been a perfect gentleman.

Of course, that might also suggest he didn’t find me attractive when he was in his right mind.

Okay, that made me feel like shit just a little bit.

But on the other hand…any port in a storm, right? I didn’t need to be his ideal to get him off. It’d be a purely physical release. Between friends. Us against the world. Doing whatever we needed to do to take care of each other.

Despite everything, my eyelids drooped, the shadowy ceiling fading in and out. Adrenaline crash was a bitch, and my still-healing body felt like it had lead weights attached everywhere.

We’d take care of each other.

It’d be okay.

And we’d figure it out tomorrow.

***

I woke up to Drew slumped in the chair by the side of the bed, gazing at me out of half-lidded, faintly glowing eyes.

With a yelp, I flailed, slid off the side of the bed, knocked one of the pillows flying, and landed—on his lap, because he lunged forward and caught me before I hit the floor, pulling me across his knees.

“Oh, shit,” I panted, blinking to clear my vision. I had a great view of the floor. Twisting my neck around bought me half the chair and a glimpse of Drew’s face.

With no apparent effort, he maneuvered me out of my sprawl across his legs and up to sitting on them instead. My hands came up to steady me, landing on his shoulders. His hands tightened on my waist, and the glow in his eyes brightened.

At least he had clothes on: the gym shorts and T-shirt combo that he usually wore around the house.

I shifted my weight. He shifted a little under me. I couldn’t look away from his face, only a few inches from mine. I could feel his breath on my skin, the heat of his body, and…under me. Yeah, that wasn’t a third leg, although it was almost big enough.

“I think I should get up,” I whispered. Maybe I’d been planning to offer to get him off today, but I’d also been planning to have a real conversation about it beforehand.

His hands tightened a little more.

“Yeah, you probably should,” he said hoarsely.

He didn’t let go, and the air around us thickened with tension. I knew that if I tried to move without his by-your-leave, bad things would happen. Bad, as in me getting fucked and knotted right there on the floor without any kind of conversation, real or otherwise. Drew’s chest rose and fell too quickly. His whole body had gone completely rigid, and not just the part starting to press insistently against my hip.

Screw it. We were out of time for talking.

Slowly, I slid one hand down from his shoulder, over his chest, tracing the muscles as I went. Drew’s heart hammered beneath my palm, and I lingered there for a moment.

“Ash,” he said, his voice barely more than a growl. “You don’t know what you’re doing.”

“I know exactly what I’m doing.” How the hell did I sound that confident? My own heart beat so fast my lips were vibrating. But I knew, IknewI was doing the right thing. He’d taken such good care of me.

My turn.

I let my hand drift lower, stroking his abs, and then I took hold of the string of his shorts.

Drew jerked one hand off my waist and caught my wrist, hard. It probably would’ve hurt.

But luckily, I didn’t have to worry about that.

“Don’t,” he ground out. “Don’t!” He sounded halfway to unhinged, and his eyes had gone so wild they hardly needed to be glowing. He felt like a live wire under me, crackling with suppressed energy. “I won’t be able to—I’ll hurt you—why would you even—”

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