Page 25 of The Alpha Experiment
Go for it, Newton. Even if it’s awkward. You need a second opinion on the craziness in your head, since right now all you have is an inchoate hypothesis based on one legend and a couple of rumors in old books.
Colin had put in the effort to prop himself up against the arm of the couch with his arms draped over his knees, and he was sitting there staring at me expectantly.
I crossed my arms, as if that’d make me feel less awkward.
“I was thinking more like…chasing a mate through the woods. Turning the mating into a hunt.”
His eyebrows shot up. “So like when alphas used to claim their mates whether the mates wanted to be claimed or not? I mean, that still goes on sometimes. No decent pack allows it, since it’s also, you know, rape. If anyone in my pack did that, I’d rip his throat out.”
“No! I mean, yes, but no. I’m not talking about forced mating.” Although I kind of was. I’d run across a tantalizing story in a book of fox-shifter mythology earlier that morning, in which an alpha werefox had hunted down a human girl and tried to claim her against her will. The story said she’d sprouted claws of her own and raked him across the face, escaping when the blood blinded him temporarily.
To be fair, it was a very sketchy story, and had been translated, poorly, from the original Estonian. I wasn’t a linguist, cunning or otherwise, but the names of the people involved suggested it had gone through a round of French before being translated into English. I didn’t have a ton of faith that I even had the original writer’s intent, let alone anything accurate.
But it was the closest I’d come to some kind of corroboration of my instinct—or maybe it was just a hope dressing itself up as an instinct for some credibility—that a shifter-focused shock to the system was key to triggering an expression of dormant magical genes.
“Don’t some packs keep that tradition, in form, anyway?” I went on. “Between individuals who’ve already agreed to mate, but want the thrill of the chase first? Like…role-play.”
“I guess,” he said slowly. And then he grinned. “Sounds like fun, anyway. Maybe I should tell my pack council we’re going to start doing that from now on. They’re after me to mate, you know? ‘Give the pack some stability, Colin,’ and ‘You need to set an example, Colin.’ Like me getting laid on the regular is going to suddenly reassure the pack that I’m not going to try to get us all killed like Dad did.”
My gut gave a little flip. Of course this wasn’t theoretical for Colin, at least not the way it was for me. Of course he’d be expected to settle down now that he was the pack leader.
Once he had a mate, I’d be lucky to hang out with him like this once a year. More like never. I’d be praying for someone to stalk me, just so I’d have an excuse to pull my best friend away from his commitments for a few days. His mate would be his most important person, not me.
“You don’t need to be mated to be a good pack leader.” That I believed, aside from any ulterior motives. “I’m sure you’re doing great. And, plus side, low bar to clear.”
He snorted a laugh, which made me laugh at how stupid he sounded, and then we were both grinning at each other like idiots. “That’s definitely true. We’re even on good terms with the Armitages for the first time in fucking forever. And I made nice with the local vamp. I guess I did too good a job, and now all the council has to worry about is getting me to mount and bite someone. Not that anyone the council would approve of would want me. I’m totally going to end up with some biker chick who shifts into an iguana.”
My lips twitched, even though that heavy feeling in my stomach had come rushing back. “You got promoted to the level of your incompetence, congrats.”
Colin flopped back on the couch and flipped me off. “Enough about my shitty pack politics. What’s with this sudden interest in mating?” And then he popped upright again. “Oh, fucking shit.That’swhere your research is going? You’re planning to—I can’t even imagine what you’re planning to do. Everything I can think of is batshit insane.”
“I don’t have a plan yet,” I said, a little defensively. Had he contributed anything to this effort other than moral support? No. Until he came up with a plan of his own, I didn’t want to hear it. Even though I’d been mentally classifying my own ideas as ‘crazy’ ten seconds ago. “But everything I’ve found in everything I’ve read that even hints at the sudden expression of shifter genes relates to mating in some way. It makes sense!” I protested, as Colin’s face went all skeptical. “It’s the strongest biological drive. A lot of species die as soon as they mate. They’re only alive to mate. Survival is secondary, a lot of the time. Besides, playing with the survival instinct is a little risky. I don’t want to risk my life for this.”
Colin stared at me for a minute, and I could practically see the gears whirring away behind his serious dark eyes. “Let me get this straight and make sure I just heard what I think I heard,” he said slowly. “You don’t want to riskyourlife for this?”
Oh, shit. I’d said more than I’d meant to say. Easing Colin into the idea that I’d need to be my own research subject was something I’d planned for later—as much later as possible. I’d even toyed with trying to get him to go back home for a week so I could do some experiments while he was gone and leave that conversation fornever.
The silence stretched. A shady, guilty, confirming-his-worst-suspicions kind of silence.
Colin blew out a long breath and shook his head. “Newt, I swear to God. You make me crazy sometimes. You were seriously thinking about going out and starting a fight with a bear and hoping you sprouted claws at the last second, weren’t you?”
I might’ve been angry at that totally unjustified slander if it hadn’t been…well, not totally unjustified. And then he looked up at me, and all I could see in his eyes was sheer, unadulterated terror.
I cracked like a test tube in a furnace. “I’m not planning anything like that. I promise.”
“Not anymore, anyway,” he grumbled, scrubbing his hands over his face. When he lowered them, there wasn’t a trace of fear, or anger, or anything else. He’d gone completely, unreadably blank. “All right. So you’re not going to be trying to get yourself killed, small fucking mercies, but you are planning to experiment on yourself. Right? And why thefuckdidn’t you think to mention that sooner?”
The vein in my temple started throbbing again. “Who else do you think I should experiment on? Huh? Take out an ad in the student newspaper looking for volunteers with shifter ancestry who’re willing to be smeared with fermented deer blood and then chased around a forest?”
Colin got up at last, stalking across the small living room until we were only separated by the narrow kitchen island. He leaned in, hands propped on the counter.
“No more hyperbole, Newt. Oh, sorry,” he said, at the look on my face, “am I not allowed to say stuff like that unless I get a college degree? How about this: cut the fucking bullshit.What are you planning to do to yourself?”
My fingers twitched with the need to fidget, to do something to stall, and I ended up crossing my arms and tucking my hands. It didn’t help.
“I’m the best research subject I have available. I fit the profile perfectly. Not to mention, this is so freaking unethical and unscientific. The least I can do is not involve anyone else.”
“Except that you’re going to have to involve someone else. You don’t have a choice. Because if you’re moving on from the ‘survival instinct’ to the ‘mating instinct’…well, mating takes two. Right?”
