Page 13 of Captive Mate
And the danger wasn’t over, either. I’d have to be stuck to Matthew’s side, and on my guard, twenty-four hours a day until the spell was off.
Yeah, safe to say I was starting to come around on the spell-removal issue.
“Not necessarily,” I admitted grudgingly. His expression didn’t soften. Gods, he was so much better at this than Ian and Nate. They didn’t have any patience. Shouting and insults rolled right off my back, but if Matthew kept staring at me like that I’d start to squirm. “I’m not enjoying this situation we’re in either.”
“Then answer my questions. Because worst-case scenario, if we keep on like this? I mate you against your will. And I guarantee that’s going to be a lot worse for you than it will for me.” He shrugged again. “I’m in love with you, thanks to your magic. I’d be delighted to be your mate. Using your magic. Using your body.” Matthew’s voice had dropped to a low register that thrummed through me, sending shivers down every limb. “You’d belong to me, Arik. Mine.”
“Bullshit,” I whispered. “You hate me as much as you love me.”
“Makes it more fun,” he growled, and bared his teeth at me.
No. No, I didn’t believe it. Not a chance. Matthew’s passionate defense of me and my right to have a choice in who mated me, when he hadn’t even known I’d been listening to him arguing with Sam Kimball, was engraved on my brain. And his arguments had all been based in logic, too, not even dependent on his ‘love’ for me. Matthew had been sincere.
“You’re too nice for that,” I protested. “That’s not you. The way you tried to get me free when you came down into the basement the other day? You were worried about me. You’re a…responsible pack leader. You don’t believe in forced matings, either. That isn’t you.”
Matthew sat up slowly, propping himself on one elbow and looming over me, his face only inches from mine. “You know fuck-all about me,” he said quietly. “Yeah. I was worried about you, because we’d been separated and I was going crazy. And yeah, I don’t like torturing prisoners, and forced matings are fucked-up — in principle. But Ian and Nate told me a few things about what you did during the fight, and whatever sympathy I had for you is pretty much gone. Not to mention being near you for a few hours and getting that spell off my back a little has gotten my head on straight. Iama responsible pack leader. And using you would be the best thing for my pack.” His expression hardened, and his voice dropped even more, until he was almost whispering. “And I’m not proud of it, but if you think a big part of me wouldn’t enjoy it, then you really don’t know me at all.”
If you think a big part of me wouldn’t enjoy it, then you really don’t know me at all.The words echoed and repeated in my head.
That was my last hope, really. That Matthew would be too decent to take advantage of the situation. He hadn’t wanted to rape me — and he still didn’t, obviously, or he would be right now. But apparently he wasn’t completely a white knight, either, when he wasn’t overwhelmed by magic gone wrong.
Mating me and having a shaman under his control would be good for his pack — at least on paper. And underneath the fake love, he had a lot of reasons to hate me, so it wasn’t like rationally he’d need to feel too bad about forcing me into it.
If you think a big part of me wouldn’t enjoy it…
I shivered and edged away from him. Why was I reacting like this? He was just like any other alpha, to be avoided, manipulated, or killed if necessary before I ran like hell from his pack.
But the other alphas who’d tried this kind of shit with me weren’t good men. Not even close. And Matthew…I’d been so sure that he was. And maybe he still was, mostly. But not good enough to stop at…whatever it was he was going to do. Or not good enough to overcome whatever tangled mess my spell had made out of his brain. Trying to focus on it was making my brain into a tangled mess, whirling and confused.
“You really don’t want to be mated to me.” As an opening, that was all right, but then — I didn’t have a follow-up. I fell silent, biting my lip.
“What, because you don’t cook?” he sneered, throwing my earlier words back at me. “Like I give a fuck. I don’t cook either, why should you? Or is it because you don’t submit?”
“Alphas always want submission. So would you. And I don’t do that. I’d fight you every step of the way, even with the mating bond.”
Matthew’s eyes darkened, and he leaned even closer, until our lips were nearly touching. “That’s supposed to turn me off? Like I said, you don’t know me very well.”
“You’re not going to have me,” I gritted out. “Not now. Not ever. You can rape me, and you can bite me, but you’re not getting what you think you want.”
“Maybe I don’t want what you think I want.” He closed the final bit of distance between us and ran his lips over the line of my jaw. His hot breath fanned my neck. “If you don’t want to find out, start talking.” His mouth found the curve of my throat and closed over my flesh, lightly, just enough to make me jump. “Or maybe I’ll start biting.”
My head swam. I was going to claw my way out of my own skin, implode, anything to get away from the heat and pressure of his body over mine and the terror and confusion and…I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’tthink.
“What do you want, then?” I gasped. “What do you actually want, since I’ve gotten it all wrong?”
He lifted his head and smiled down at me, and it wasn’t a nice smile at all. “Glad you asked. I want my pack whole, unthreatened, and alive. If I can’t get that any other way, I’ll mate you and use you as much as I can. So. Start talking, Arik. Last chance.”
“Wait!” I tried to wriggle out from under him, but he tilted over, pinning me under him, and his hand clamped around my wrist. “Wait, ‘last chance’? This is a negotiation! You ask your questions, I dance around them, and the threats come later! It’s been five fucking minutes!”
“That’s because it’s not a negotiation.”
I stared up at him, afraid to struggle in case it set him off. His eyes were getting a little wild again, like having me trapped under him was bringing out the worst of his instincts.
“I don’t know very much,” I hedged.
“We’re skipping the part where you dance around the questions, remember?” he snarled. “Now fucking talk.”
Talk. Something I avoided at all costs, most of the time. Talking only got me in trouble. I lied, and I prevaricated, and I seduced, but actualtalking? Honest answers? Ugh. Anything I said, he’d use against me. And the parts I could actually spin to make me look good? I wasn’t sure I could force the words out of my mouth, relive all of it in the telling.
