Page 44 of The One Decent Thing

He was frowning at me, clearly not totally on board with what little I’d managed to say. Desperately, I tried again. “Look, Sebastian, I’m not gay. I still think women are really hot. But I lo—likeyou, okay? Bi is fine, if I’ve got to have a label. And I sure as fuck don’t care what anyone else calls me. Everyone in the fucking world can call me gay if they want, which would actually be a reasonable assumption if I’m with another guy. I don’t care. As long as you believe I want you, and you’re happy, I don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks.”

“Okay.” Sebastian’s Adam’s apple bobbed. I wanted to lick it. “Really? As long as I’mhappy?” That was pure disbelief, which was ridiculous. Like I’d say something so sappy without meaning it, Jesus.

And there was that leaping-off-a-cliff feeling again. I leaned in, nuzzled his cheek and murmured, “Sebastian. You’re all that matters. No one else.”

A soft gasp in my ear made me shiver. He shifted under me. That made me shiver too. “Aidan, I get that — that maybe what other people think doesn’t matter to you. But long term —” I lifted my head as he came to an abrupt halt, in time to see him blush and look away.

“Long term,” I repeated quietly. He had to know I wasn’t looking at him like something disposable, someone I’d only want for a little while, right? “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

I gave in to the urge to kiss his sweet half-smile, but it had disappeared by the time I stopped.

“If we’re together, though, it isn’t just about what other people think.” He licked his lips nervously, and still didn’t look at me. “I mean. I’m gay.”

Well, that was a real news-flash. “Yeah?” I asked, confused.

“I’m gay, Aidan. And not all gay guys want the same stuff, I mean, there’s stuff some don’t want to do…but I do.”

“Stuff.” Stuff? Oh, fuck.Stuff. I bit my tongue against telling him if you couldn’t talk about it, you shouldn’t be doing it, like the sex-ed teacher I’d had in eighth grade. “You mean sex?”

“Yes,” he whispered.

Oh, fucking fuck. My erection had gone down while we’d been talking, but it was suddenly roaring back to life. I’d thought about it, oh God had I ever thought about it, and I’d even gone as far as doing some Googling in incognito mode when Sebastian wasn’t home. But he’d never brought it up directly, and pushing for it, when I was one-hundred-percent sure I didn’t want to be on the receiving end, felt like a dick move.

Now that he’d brought it up, though… “You mean right now?”

Sebastian’s eyes snapped to my face, and his blush deepened into a shade I hadn’t thought was possible for humans. He was as red as the geranium I’d planted in the back yard, from his hairline down to the low neck of his shirt. Probably lower. My cock gave a hopeful twitch at the thought of finding out.

He gave a little squirm under me, which wasn’t helping. “Do you really mean it? Now?” I nodded emphatically. “I need to take a shower. And, um. I need to take a shower. I’ll be back in ten minutes. Twenty minutes,” he corrected himself quickly. “Like, no more than twenty minutes?”

“I’ll wait,” I promised him. Not that patiently, but he didn’t need to know that. Anticipation had me by the throat. Sex. Not just sex, sex with Sebastian. I’d get to see him spread out and open and…oh, hell, I had to let him out of bed before I lost it. “I’ll wait. Is there anything I should do? While you’re gone?”

I could guess, maybe, what his shower and ‘um’ was going to entail, although I wasn’t going to ask, because I was pretty sure he’d die of embarrassment if I did. I had no idea what my part might be. Some lube? Or something?

Sebastian shook his head and gave me a shove, reminding me I needed to get off of him already. I rolled to my back and watched him climb out of bed. His black boxer-briefs were tight as a second skin on his round ass.Tongue back in your mouth, Aidan. I reached under the blanket and palmed my dick, trying to get it to calm down.

He shot me a shy smile as he left the room, and then I heard the bathroom door close. Twenty minutes. I stared up at the ceiling, heart pounding. Twenty minutes.

I had a boyfriend, and I was going to…fuck felt like the wrong word, even though just thinking it got me impossibly harder. Fuck him. I was going to fuck Sebastian.

A little moan burst out of me, and I gripped the base of my dick as hard as I dared. The shower turned on, and I waited.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Sebastian

Getting ready to have sex wasn’t my favorite part of the process, but I didn’t mind it, usually. Knowing Aidan was waiting for me — knowing he probably knew what I was doing, and that it was kind of gross — made it a lot worse.

I knew he wasn’t the sort of guy to be bothered by normal bodily functions. Especially when he was getting something out of it. And he wasn’t a misogynist, either. Not that I was female, but so many men, gay men you’d otherwise assume were really open-minded and equitable, thought the bottom in a sex act was lesser, somehow. They thought women were lesser, and they thought men who bottomed were like women, and were therefore inferior too. So it was misogyny, in a weird, roundabout way.

Aidan liked women, I knew. And not only for sex. He’d had female friends in high school and always managed to walk the line between treating them like his guy friends and looking out for them. He stuck to picking on other boys. In fact, the one person who’d testified in his favor at his trial had been a girl from his graduating class, although she was such a space-cadet stoner that it didn’t do him much good. He was totally the kind of guy who’d cheerfully buy tampons for a girlfriend or just a friend without batting an eyelash, and then pick her up some ice cream on the way. Back in the day, he might’ve stopped to mock the cashier at the drug store, too, but he would’ve bought the tampons.

So I wasn’t afraid of how he’d treat me in bed, or if he’d be disgusted by the process or by my body.

I just wanted, so, so badly, to be perfect for him, to stack up against all those clean, nice, not-a-guy’s-ass girl parts he’d encountered in the past.

If I thought of it as a competition, I’d totally lose my nerve. So I tried to ignore it and focus instead on how hard I was, and how much I wanted him inside me. My fingers shook as I tried to do the necessary cleaning and prepping.

Finally I was done, and I toweled off with jerky motions. The mirror showed me a red-faced, crazy-eyed mess, with a too-pale and too-skinny body. Aidan was such a hot guy: muscled and masculine and tall and with those amazing eyes. He could have anyone, male or female, and he’d had all those ex-girlfriends…

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