Page 32 of The One Decent Thing

With lust out of the way, the full logic of why it was such a bad thing for Sebastian to do had hit me, too, though. If sucking my dick was a punishment for him, he shouldn’t be doing it, period. If I’d been able to put those words together coherently before he blew me, it never would’ve happened.

I stripped my t-shirt over my head and used it to clean up, since it’d gotten spattered when I came, anyway. And I’d sweated through it, which was gross as hell. By the time I’d grabbed a clean one and gotten myself under control a little, it had been a few minutes — and I still hadn’t heard any sounds from the hallway.

God fucking dammit. Going to check on him was the last thing I wanted to do, because I had no idea what to say or if I’d do something incredibly stupid, but what if I’d given him another panic attack? Leaving him alone to be unhappy because I was feeling insecure was such a douche maneuver.

I opened the door as quietly as I could and snuck down the hall. Peeking in his door, I saw him curled up on his bed on his side, completely still, and my heart gave a sick lurch. I’d opened my mouth to say his name, and reached out to touch him, when I realized he wasn’t having a panic attack; he was asleep. His shoulder rose and fell evenly as he breathed, and his face was peaceful, his soft lips very slightly parted.

Fuck, he was beautiful, all long limbs and sharp nose and sharper cheekbones. He’d pulled up his underwear so that his cock was tucked away, but his shirt had ridden up and exposed a little bit of the soft skin of his hip and stomach. I wanted to smooth the tangled waves back from his forehead, tuck him in a blanket — tuck myself in the blanket next to him and slip my hand under his shirt to feel if his skin was as silky as it looked, actually, because why lie to myself?

Instead I tiptoed out again and pulled his bedroom door almost shut behind me, leaving it open the smallest crack. That would give him some privacy when he woke up, at least, and he didn’t have to know I’d been sneaking around and watching him sleep. I just wished I could forget about it.

No way that was happening. I doubted I’d be able to think about anything else.

Chapter Sixteen

Aidan

I climbed into the passenger seat of Sebastian’s car on shaky legs, barely able to feel my extremities. But I was smiling — fuck, was I ever smiling, so widely my cheeks hurt.

“I think that went really well?” Sebastian said. He was already in the driver’s seat, his seatbelt done up and everything. He’d gone ahead of me to give me a second to talk to Rick alone before we headed home.

It was Monday afternoon, the sun was shining, a sea breeze was wafting salt and the amazing smell of the burger joint down the block into my face, and even the dingy public parking lot behind Rick’s bar seemed like a fucking awesome place to be.

A job. I had ajob. And not a shitty, no-will-to-live job like the one I’d been working in the superstore’s stockroom before my arrest, either. The hourly wage was decent, my boss was a super chill guy, and — let’s face it — it was cool. Being a bouncer was super fucking cool. I got to stand there looking all hard-ass, and check out cute girls all night, and maybe even throw someone like Brody into the parking lot on his head.

Life was good. “Yeah, dude, it did!” I replied, turning to grin at Sebastian. He blinked at me and his face went pink. “You okay? That wasn’t too stressful or anything, right?”

That had been my one big worry. I knew Sebastian wouldn’t let me down, and I knew Rick would melt like fried ice cream the second Sebastian flashed him that sweet, nervous little smile of his. He totally had, for the record — I was pretty sure Rick had at least one kid close to our age, because the way he’d called Sebastian ‘son’ sounded way too comfortable for a guy with no children of his own.

But having to rehash the past? That was going to be hard on Sebastian, and I’d hoped and prayed Rick would let it go without asking for too many details. He hadn’t pressed too much, but what he had asked, about what really happened that night and about why Sebastian hadn’t been able to clear my name, had been more than enough. What Sebastian had told me the first night I stayed at his place had been vague and brief, but I could read between the lines. And his very vagueness and brevity were a sign of how much it hurt him to talk about it.

“It was fine,” Sebastian said after a minute. “I mean, I hate talking about my — my parents. Rick seems super nice, though.”

“Glad you like him. I do too.” I would’ve liked Joseph Stalin if he’d been offering me a job, but hey. Lucky me that Rick was genuinely great. “I hate to ask, but do you mind if I don’t start paying rent until next month? I need to go get some work clothes. Black jeans and some long-sleeved black shirts, ’cause it’s going to be cold working the door for the next few months. And I’ll need at least one more pair of shoes. Rick’s providing the jacket.”

Every word of that made me happier than the last, except the part about not paying rent. Buying work clothes, planning ahead for months — months that weren’t all going to be the same dreary grind of inedible food and avoiding fights and keeping my head down — felt like every birthday and Christmas I’d missed on the inside all rolled together into one.

“I wasn’t planning on asking you to pay rent at all.” Sebastian started the car and craned to look over his shoulder.

I waited until he’d backed out of the spot and gotten out of the parking lot before I answered him so he didn’t get distracted. Sebastian was a nervous driver, and the only reason I wasn’t doing it for him was that I hadn’t gotten my license renewed yet. I made a mental note to get a DMV appointment now that I’d have the money to cover the fees.

“Whether you ask for it or not, I’m going to give you something to cover my expenses,” I said. “So you should probably save us both some time and let me know what my half of the utilities are, at least.” Sebastian opened his mouth to argue, and I cut him off. “Look, I know you’re loaded, okay? And you can afford to carry me. This is about me wanting to feel like I’m not a leech, not about you needing me to pay. Okay?”

Sebastian pulled to a stop at a red light and sighed. “Okay. Just — not too much, all right? Like, you can cover your half of the bills, and buy groceries, but it wouldn’t be fair for me to charge you rent. I’m not paying rent either, and there’s no mortgage or anything. My uncle won’t even notice the property taxes in between his place in Aspen, the mansion in Beverly Hills, and whatever apartments he has all over Europe to keep his mistresses in.”

“Does that get as tiring as it sounds?” I’d spoken without thinking, and Sebastian made a little noise halfway between surprise and a laugh. “Seriously, dude. How many European mistresses can one guy handle before he needs to take a vacation on a different continent? It’s like that TV show with the dude who has a bunch of wives. That just sounds fucking exhausting.”

Sebastian was full-on giggling as he eased through the green light and made a left turn, heading for home. Thank God he was laughing and acting like nothing was wrong. I’d been waiting for the other shoe to drop for the past twenty-four hours, ever since I’d run away to my own room like a coward. Sebastian had been completely unfazed when he’d emerged later that night, simply saying hi, grabbing a snack, and settling in with some homework at the kitchen table.

Like he hadn’t been moaning around a mouthful of my cock a couple of hours before. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, in danger of getting hard just thinking about it. Fuck, I didn’t know what to do with that. Tackling him onto the nearest flat surface was obviously out, and I didn’t have any other ideas besides going along with him and pretending nothing was different.

Maybe to Sebastian, nothing was. Maybe I had him all wrong, and he was perfectly comfortable with casual sex.

That thought should’ve made me feel better, but instead it made me cold all over.

I was so screwed either way.

“You should meet him,” Sebastian said on a chuckle, making me jump. I’d gotten lost in my own head and almost forgotten what we’d been talking about. “I think he’d really like you. Remember how I said he didn’t get along with my parents?” I nodded, remembered that Sebastian had his eyes on the road, and added a grunt of agreement. “Okay, well, that wasn’t really accurate. He hates them both, like, really really hates them. I don’t think he and my mom had a great home life when they were kids, or something.”

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