Page 29 of The One Decent Thing

Actually, I did want to hear about his crappy date, more than he would ever imagine, even though I knew I’d hate every second of it. “Can you go with me to meet with Rick tomorrow afternoon? He emailed me back.”

“Yeah, of course,” Sebastian said, with the first little flicker of interest in his expression since I’d opened the door. “I’m free. I’d cancel whatever for this, anyway. It’s more important.”

Gratitude and affection welled up in me, making me feel even worse about all the bullshit that had been washing around in my brain the past few days. Sebastian was so goddamned kind. He deserved a lot better than a shitty date and a wound-up, horny roommate perving on his mouth.

I braced my shoulder against the door frame and crossed my arms, settling in for the long haul. Sebastian needed a friend right now, even if that only meant me ordering pizza and then not bugging him while he ate it. I’d try to get him to talk first, though. He was a talker. If it were me, I’d just want the pizza, but fuck my comfort zone. I owed him.

And maybe I also wanted to know who to punch. Whatever.

“So where’d you meet this guy?” Ask the question, and then wait.

Sebastian looked away again, nervously plucking at the rainbow comforter with his fingertips. “A dating app.”

“Dating app, or hookup app?”

Sebastian shrugged. “What’s the difference? I mean, maybe there is for straight people, but there isn’t that much of one most of the time.”

“And…nothing came up?” I was trying to be funny, but it landed like a lead balloon. The corners of his mouth turned down, and he blinked a few times in quick succession.

“It usually doesn’t,” he muttered. And then he blinked again, more slowly. I was almost sure I saw a little gleam at the corner of his eye, like a tear about to roll down his temple.

What the fuck was that about? A guy who looked like Sebastian shouldn’t have any trouble getting some, especially since men were a lot easier. Sex was on the table? We were down to do it right there on the literal table.

“I’m too fucked up,” Sebastian blurted out. He pressed his lips together and blinked again. “I can’t just — it never works.”

So he had some kind of hang-up about casual sex? Well, that wasn’t a total shock, honestly. I’d have been more surprised if he didn’t, given his messed-up family and experiences with assholes like Brody. But he wasn’t the only one.

“Remember how I went out the other night to try and pick someone up? And how I freaked out in the club and ran outside again before I even got a drink? So it’s not just you.”

“Yeah, well, a club was a terrible idea,” he muttered. “Clubs suck. You could’ve thought it through a little more.”

Annoyed, and a little hurt, I snapped back, “Is it that stupid that after four years I wanted to get laid? Jesus! Or maybe it’s too out there to think some girl might want to fuck a loser felon like me?”

Sebastian flinched, sitting up and drawing up his knees so that he was almost in a ball. “No, of course not.” He sounded fucking miserable.Shit, shit, shit, I shouldn’t have said that. “I guess I hadn’t thought about it. I’m so sorry. It’s my fau—”

I crossed to the bed in two long strides, dropped down on the edge of the mattress, and put my hand over his mouth.

Again. Because I hadn’t learned my fucking lesson the last time I tried this to shut off the apology faucet. But Jesus Christ, I couldn’t take listening to him blame himself. Not one. More. Time.

I leaned down until I was right in his space, looking into his big blue eyes from a few inches away. “Sebastian. I shouldn’t have said that. And I swear to fucking God, if you apologize one more fucking time for something thatwas notyour fault I’m going to have to find a better deterrent than the dollars in the jar.” His lips moved against my palm, the softest brush of tender skin. My fingers twitched where they rested on his cheek. “If that was another apology, you’re gonna get it.”

Sebastian let out a little whimper that shot down through my chest and settled in my belly. Lower than that, really. I couldn’t get an erection right now, but I was. It was inevitable. I hadn’t meant my words to sound quite so suggestive, but there they were, hanging in the air between us, twining with Sebastian’s tiny moan. His rapid breaths puffed against my hand, and I could feel the vibration of his heartbeat through that point of contact and just from our bodies’ proximity.

With a heroic effort, I took my hand away and let it drop onto my thigh. Sebastian’s pupils had blown until only a little ring of sky-blue showed around them. I probably didn’t look much better; I knew my cheeks were burning red by the heat in them.

Sebastian’s chest rose and fell like he was a second from hyperventilating, and his hands clenched. “I could blow you,” he whispered.

That didn’t compute for a second. And then it did, and my brain shorted out completely, flashing the blue screen of death while all the blood in my body rushed south.

“You,” I choked. “You. What?”

Sebastian’s face was turning a kind of alarming shade of hot pink, and he was trembling, but he repeated himself, his voice stronger this time. “I could blow you. Every time I apologize and I shouldn’t, I’ll — I’ll suck you off.”

I’d been doing my best not to picture exactly what he was talking about, and I’d almost kind-of-sort-of succeeded. Now it was like the floodgates opened, and all I could imagine was Sebastian sliding to his knees right there in his quiet, sunny bedroom, opening my jeans, closing his eyes and wrapping his lips around the head of my cock. Or keeping his eyes open and gazing up at me while he bobbed his head — my erection went from sixty to a hundred, and I shoved it down with the heel of my hand.

“Oh my God,” Sebastian gasped, his eyes fixed on my groin. “Oh my God. You actually want — you want —”

“Yeah, of course I fucking want,” I snarled. “I’m only human. But no, fuck no.”

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