This Is Love - Chapter 8
Monday -James
For just a few minutes it felt like we were back in time, making love in my apartment in Newark. I wasn’t sure why, but I tried to dismiss the thought. I loved how we met. I loved how we started. But I knew better than anyone now that the past belonged in the past. Remembering it was great, but reliving it was a nightmare. I was happy where we were. Here. Today.
We weren’t the same people anymore. Penny and I had been through so much together. Her forgetting about the last several years had nearly killed me.
Seeing her crying on the bathroom floor made me forget about the past few weeks. I had made her feel like she had broken us. And that wasn’t true at all. If anything, I loved her more than ever now. Losing her for a few weeks was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. Now I had her back. I didn’t need her apologies. I just needed her.
When she came out of the bathroom adjusting her shirt, she almost looked bashful. I knew she was remembering. I just didn’t know which parts she remembered.
“Hey,” she said as she ran her fingers through her hair, trying to pull out a few knots.
I loved her unruly curls. She usually styled it now, but I liked it like this best. Natural. She didn’t need anything added to her to look beautiful.
I walked over to her, grabbed both sides of her face, and placed my lips against hers. I felt her melt into me, and it pulled on my heartstrings. She was finally where she belonged again. “Hey yourself.”
Penny laughed as she pulled away. But her eyes weren’t dancing with humor. “You said things with your mom have changed?” She glanced over my shoulder at the closed door. “I still have an unsettled feeling in my stomach when I think about her.”
“I think maybe she’s acted the way she has because she felt threatened by you in my life.”
“By me? Why?”
“Because you became everything to me so quickly. Nothing else mattered but you.”
Her eyes locked with mine. “But that’s not true anymore. You have your friends and family. Our family.” She pressed her lips together. “I need to go see Liam. I need to hold him. I need to tell him I love him.”
“He knows.” I placed a gentle kiss against her forehead. “Visiting hours are over, but I’m sure we can convince someone to let us up.”
“You’ve always been very good at that. I remember when you visited me after I got my concussion.”
“Hmm.” I brushed a loose strand of hair away from her face. “I didn’t realize how important our memories were until you lost them. What else do you remember?”
“Besides the fact that you like to bribe nurses and that your mother hates me? Well…” her eyes dropped to my mouth. “Other things too. Lots of things.” She bit down on her bottom lip.
“What don’t you remember?” I tried not to stare at her lips, or else we’d wind up repeating our time in the shower. And Rob and my mother were waiting. We had already taken awhile in here. They were probably wondering if we were okay.
“I don’t remember that day…when I went into the hospital.” She placed her hand on her stomach.
“Nothing at all about it?” I wanted her to remember everything. But maybe it was better that she didn’t remember that day. I hadn’t been there for her when she needed me. I didn’t want that seared into her brain when our relationship was still so fragile.
“No. And there are other holes too. Where my memories kind of…jump ahead I think. Almost like they’re on fast-forward. I still want to read the rest of what I wrote. It might help.”
“Just the important stuff.”
She smiled.
“If everything comes back to you except the day of the accident, I think that might be for the best.”
Her eyes locked with mine. “You’re probably right. One advantage of losing your memory is that you don’t have to remember the bad stuff.” She took a deep breath. “Speaking ofbad stuff…we should probably get this thing with your mom over with before I lose my nerve.”
“She’s actually hoping to come see Liam with us tonight. And Scarlett. I think she’s finally ready to be a grandmother.”
“She hasn’t met either of them yet?” Penny touched the side of her forehead. “I guess I’m missing more than I realized.”
“It’s going to be fine. I promise. And if you feel at all uncomfortable with her seeing the children, I’ll tell her she can’t come. Okay?”
“Okay.” She looked so adorably nervous. There was a vulnerability there that I wasn’t used to seeing in her. Again, it made me feel like we were back in time. Back where we began. I needed to make sure I wasn’t overwhelming her. I needed to make sure she felt safe with me.