Page 60 of Hold Me Closer
I know that it may still come out one day. It'd be foolish to assume it just went away because Teo decided to shift the target to his back. I'm still a target because I'm in the media. I'll always be a target. But…I don't think I care anymore. I've hid long enough.We'vehid long enough.
If the truth ever comes out, it comes out. They can say what they want and give me whatever treatment they want. I'm strong enough to stand on my own now. I can handle whatever they throw at me.
Besides, I'm not ashamed of what I went through. It's never been about that. I survived what almost killed me. I lived when I was supposed to die. I got help when I needed it. And I learned to cope with something unimaginable. That's powerful. The world needs more of that.
I've just never been ready to give it to them because I've always felt like I was still in the thick of it. How could I tell my story when I was still going through it? How could I be a poster child for anything when I was one step away from ending up right back there? I couldn't talk about healing and my journey when I wasn't healed.
I don't feel that way anymore. For once, I finally feel like I've come out the other side. Some of my pieces may be glued together, but they're holding. I found forgiveness in my own strength and in his arms. I'll never be cured, but the past isn't breaking me anymore, either.
And that's pretty powerful, too.
I'm at peace with my story. One day, I'll tell it my way. If someone wants to leak their version of it in the meantime, so be it. I can't stop them. I'm not going to drive myself crazy worrying about it, and I'm not going to let Teo, either. We have more important things to focus on now.
We leave for tour next week…and we won't be coming home alone by the end of it. I'm pregnant. I haven't told him yet. I plan to do it at dinner tomorrow. I'm excited. And nervous. I always wanted so many babies.
People are going to think we're crazy for starting a family so quickly, but I don't really care what they think. We endured hell and found our way back to one another. We're ready for this challenge, too.
"You aren't playing fair," he says.
"That's kind of the point, Teo. I don't want to play fair. I want you in this bed with me." I crook a finger at him, smirking. "Don't pretend you haven't been thinking about it since we were teenagers."
"Obviously, I've been thinking about it since we were teenagers," he mutters, eyeing me warily from across the room. "I just didn't want to get fucking murdered as a teenager." He flicks his gaze at the bedroom door. "Not liking the thought of being killed now any either, butterfly. There's no lock."
"I'll be quiet," I promise. "He'll never even know."
Teo snorts. "Your dad knows everything, Nadia."
"So…you don't want this?" I pout, spreading my legs so he can see how wet I am for him. "You're going to leave me like this all night?"
"Fucking hell," he breathes, his gaze dropping to my pussy. His piercing eyes darken as he takes an involuntary step toward me. "So pretty, baby."
"It's all yours, Teo."
"Touch it."
He doesn't have to tell me twice. I immediately slip my hand between my legs, rolling my fingers over my clit while he watches. A soft growl rumbles in his throat, his hand drifting toward his cock.
"Yeah, just like that," he growls.
"Teo," I moan, playing with myself while he rips through the button and zipper of his jeans, dragging his cock out.
I whimper when I see it. He's always so damn hard for me, so eager. And it doesn't matter how many times he fucks me, it's like the man never goes soft. We've spent the last two months lost in one another. Every single minute we're alone, we're naked.
I'm not complaining. We have years of lost time to make up for. I fully intend to make up for a little more right now. I always imagined him in this room when I was a teenager. We used to spend hours hanging out in here. I'd have so many fantasies about him crawling onto the bed with me. We're six years late in making them a reality, but we're getting there.
"I want you," I moan, bucking my hips into my hand. "Please."
"Not until you come for me."
I bite my lip, watching him jerk himself off while I frantically try to get myself there, desperate to get him inside me. I freaking need it. God, I need him every damn minute of the day. The more I have him, the more I need him. The man is a drug, potent and addicting. The way he touches me, kisses me, and fucks me like I'm the center of his world, is so damn perfect.
"Teo," I gasp. "Oh, god, Teo. I'm going to…"
I shatter with a whimper, rocking into my hand, writhing in ecstasy beneath his heated gaze.
He growls as he watches, storming across the room toward me. My full bed dips as he crawls over me, running his lips up my leg. "Spread them, butterfly. Let me see the mess you made for me to lick up."
I shiver, spreading them wide to give him room to work.
