Page 26 of Hold Me Closer
"Is that such a bad thing?" I tuck wayward strands of hair behind her ear, my gaze locked on her face. "When you walked away last night, you were pissed, thinking I didn't want anyone to know about you. Now, you know different."
She gapes at me, her mouth open in a little "O". It'd be adorable if it weren't so fucking sad. She used to trust me more than anyone. Now, I see the doubt in her eyes. She thinks I'm fucking with her.
"There are no groupies, butterfly. I won't have you thinking there are," I say quietly. "I'll shout that we're dating from the rooftops if that's what it takes to convince you that there is no one else in my life."
"We aren't dating, Teo."
I stroke her cheek, my eyes boring into hers. "We will be, butterfly. Just as soon as you agree."
She stares at me like she thinks I've lost my mind, and then her eyes narrow on my face. "Why? What do you want from me?"
"I miss you. Isn't that reason enough?"
"And I'm supposed to believe this has nothing to do with the fact that you're on the verge of getting kicked out of the league?"
I blink at her. How the fuck does she possibly know that?
"My manager knows people who knows people." She flashes me the ghost of a smile. "There may be millions of people in this city, but in some ways, it's still a small town, Teo."
"Guess so," I mutter, shaking my head. And then I pause before continuing, "My publicist would love it if you managed to singlehandedly save my reputation, but that isn't your job, Nadia. I fucked it up all on my own. I'll be fine."
"You may lose your career. How is that fine?"
"Football is just a game, butterfly. I'll survive without it."
She scowls at me, a dark cloud passing through her hazel eyes. "Are you serious right now?" she practically growls. "You break my heart for football, and now you're ready to just give that up, too?" She flings her hands up in the air. "I don't understand you, Teo. I really don't."
"What the fuck do you mean I broke your heart for football?" I ask, grabbing her before she can slide around me.
"You know exactly what I mean," she snaps, glaring at me. "You wanted to run off and play football without me hanging around, so you told me that you did it for my sake, so you didn't have to feel like the bad guy." She rolls her eyes. "You should have just told me the truth. At least then I wouldn't have spent so freaking long wondering if it was wrong of me not to want to grow up too fast and leave behind everything that mattered to me."
I stare at her for a long moment, stunned. "Is that really what you think? That I picked football over you? Over us?"
"Didn't you?" she asks quietly. "I was willing to wait a year so we could chase our dreams together like we'd planned since we were old enough even to have dreams." Tears well in her eyes, her bottom lip quivering. "You didn't even discuss it with me before you made a decision. You were so eager to get away that you just decided the future for both of us. My dreams didn't matter, Teo. Only yours did."
Jesus. Is that really how it looks to her?
"You're the only damn reason I ever played football, Nadia," I say quietly. "I wanted to ensure I could build a future for us without relying on my family. I would have walked away in a fucking heartbeat for you and not missed it."
"I never wanted you to walk away. I just wanted you to choose me, too," she says sadly. "You were always my first choice, Teo. Always."
"And you always deserved better."
"Maybe that's the problem," she whispers, a tear slipping down her cheek. "In your eyes, the only thing I ever wanted apparently isn't good enough for me." She dashes at her cheeks, her voice shaking. "Well, look at me now, Teo. I guess you got what you wanted, after all. I'm the only one of us who didn't."
She slides around me, heading toward the door marked Mixing Booth.
"What does that mean, Nadia?" I growl, my fucking heart aching. "You've got your dream. You're singing. That's what you wanted."
"No," she whispers, pausing at the door. "You never asked me back then what I wanted. You tried to decide for me what was good enough for me, and I ended up without the only thing I ever really wanted."
"What did you want?"
"You," she says softly, pushing her way through the door into the mixing booth. "And I'm tired of being told it was wrong of me to want to share my future with the person who mattered to me more than anyone. A job doesn't feed the soul, Teo. Love does.Thatwas my dream."
Fuck. Yet again, I've fucked up with her, said all the wrong things, and pushed her away. But for once…I think I may understand why she's so goddamn angry. And for once, I actually have hope that I can fix this.
Two hours later, whenshe steps out of the recording booth and sees me sitting beside her producer, Brogan, her eyes immediately narrow on me, and distrust floats through her gaze.
