Page 24 of Holy Water
I gasped—genuinely startled—and he used that moment to deepen the kiss.Tongue, teeth, a groan low in his throat.His body pressed to mine like a question with only one answer.He was urgent—all hunger and heat and motion.
I kissed him back, stunned by the force of it, until I felt his hands on my belt.Fingers fumbling, tugging, pulling my shirt out from my waistband like we had minutes to live.
“Wait—Julian,” I breathed, pulling back.
But he went for my neck instead, mouthing it rough, dragging his hands down my hips like he was mapping me by touch.
“Julian—” I said again, firmer now.“Wait.”
He paused just long enough to look me in the eye.
“Damn, I want you,” he said, voice thick, almost a growl.“I’ve wanted you since I first saw you in that fucking bar.I want to fuck you so bad it hurts.”
The words landed like cold water.
I stepped back.
Julian blinked at me, flushed and panting.
I shook my head slowly.My voice came out soft but steady.“I don’t want to be fucked.”
He froze.The realization flickered across his face.Something between confusion and embarrassment.Maybe even shame.
“I want more than that,” I said.“I want to know you.All of you.I want… to connect.Not just collide.”
Julian swallowed hard.His hands dropped away from me, and he glanced down like he was trying to figure out how to rewind time.
“I’m not judging you,” I added.“But this isn’t just sex for me.It never has been.”
He looked up then, eyes darker, guarded again.Like I’d just shut a door in his face.
“You don’t even know me,” he said, voice low.
I took a breath.“Not yet.But I want to.”
He stood there, shirt rumpled, belt unbuckled, chest rising and falling like he was coming down from a sprint.
And me?I was still buzzing.Still wanted him.But not like that.
Not like a storm.
Like a sunrise.
The silence stretched, awkward now.Charged in a new way.
I turned and picked up my glass of wine, taking a slow sip to ground myself.The flavor bloomed—berry and oak and something slightly sweet.From the mountains.From the earth.
“You can stay,” I said finally, voice quiet.“But only if we slow down.”
Julian nodded once.Still not meeting my eyes.
The fire between us hadn’t gone out.But it was different now.Not a blaze.A banked flame.Waiting.
And for the first time, I wondered if he even knew how to be touched without being devoured.
Julian said nothing for a while.He stood there, jaw clenched, gaze fixed somewhere over my shoulder.His hands flexed at his sides like he didn’t know what to do with them anymore.
Then he moved.
