Page 112 of Five Alarm Love
“I can’t change the fact that my family background isn’t something to be proud of.”
“The way you overcame it is.”
“Sure, but it’s not the same as what you have.”He ran a hand through his hair.“It’s hard for me to believe that I’ll be worthy of anyone.Of you.”
“Tuli—”
He held up a hand.“Please hear me.If you worry about social exposure, then being with me means people may judge your choice.You have to know that.”
“That’s not fair to you.”
“Fair got left behind when both of my parents died before I was five.Fair got left in the rearview for you when it was clear your older brother wouldn’t have a normal life.”
“About that.What if you don’t want the future I’m offering?”
“How about you let me decide what I want?”He took her hands and leaned toward her.“Real talk, Lou.I loved playing house with you as a kid.I fantasized for years about being the father I never had.How much better I’d be as a husband.How I would never make the same mistakes he made.I wanted my own family, so that I could do it all better.”
Her heart started to crack.“I understand.”
“No, you don’t.I still want that, but only with you.”
“But we can’t—”
He shook his head.“You’re not hearing me.It’s theyoupart that is the most important in this equation.All those years, as kids in school, playing house, my dreams?The most important part wasyou.”
How could she be soaring and breaking into pieces at the same time?“What about my DNA?”
“I love whatever makes you who you are.I love that you’re a great sister for Gordy.I love how you care for patients in the ambulance, and you’re pushing through paramedic training to become even better.You’re the truest person I know.Always have been.”He took a shuddering breath.“You’re it for me, Lou.I would do anything to have you in my life.I would love any child we had together, whether it was biological or adopted or”—Frost jumped up in his lap and Tuli petted him before setting him back down on the floor—“a fur-baby.I will take any of it.As long as it’s with you.”
“Tuli.”
“I want you to be my family.For us to be a family.I want you to be my partner.It’s you that I love, Lou.It’s you that I want to protect.And I would never let my dreams hurt you—” He bit off the sentence and his Adam’s apple bobbed.“Lou, please know that I could never do anything to hurt you.”He glanced at his phone and hit a button.“I would rather injure myself than risk your happiness.”
The phone screen went blank.
A fear started to grow in her.“What did you do?”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Tuli tried toignore the sick feeling in his gut.This was the right decision, and he knew it.Still terrified him.
He’d rather be penniless and unknown with Lou than rich and famous without her at his side.He swallowed.“A while back, you said something that made a lot of sense.People aren’t content.”
When she rubbed the back of his hand, the connection felt like heaven.He rested his free hand on top of hers.
“That was spoken out of fear and anger in the heat of the moment,” she said.
“You’re not wrong.”Clearing his throat, he said, “You’re not content.You’re… well, I don’t know what you are, but I know what I want you to be.”
“Which is?”
“Mine.”
“Like a caveman?”
“Like a partner.Like a lover.”He ran his hand up her arm and cupped her face.“Like forever.”
Her eyes glinted with unshed tears.His arms burned with the need to pull her into an embrace and never let go.To be the guy she could open up to, cry in front of, express every feeling.
