Page 62 of Keep You Safe
“Not sure that would be the best thing for you.”
“How about the best thing for you?” I raised my finger to his chin, forced him to meet my eyes and see how damn serious I actually was. “Quit underselling yourself, Gray. You’re what I want, need, and deserve.”
He snorted. “Ha. You deserve what Maverick and Colt have. Romance. I don’t got a romantic bone anywhere in my body.”
“Bullshit. You just bought me a whole-ass horse.” I might be too frustrated at his insistence that the horse wasn’t to win me back to swoon at his feet, but that didn’t mean I didn’t appreciate the gesture.
“Wasn’t tryin’ to be romantic.”
“Well, congrats. You were anyway.” I cupped his chin, not letting up. I was so close to getting everything I wanted. No way was I giving up now. “You said it’s not up to you to decide whether I’m cut out for ranch life. That applies here too. Quit deciding for both of us that you’re not good enough or not what I need. What I need is for you to cowboy up and try. That’s all. Show up and try to make this thing with me work.”
“You make it sound easy.” He met my gaze, but his eyes were cloudy and pained, not the expression of a man about to agree with me.
“It is.” I dropped my hand and stepped back. “When you realize that, you know where to find me.”
“Wait. You’re not gonna name the horse?”
“Oh, I’m keeping him.” I had too much of a head of steam to manage much of a smile. “I need to cool off before I go and name him Stubborn after you. I want you, not the horse.”
“Gray?” Kat called from somewhere in the next row of stalls.
“Go on.” I waved a hand. “Wouldn’t want to be caught together.”
“Adler.” He said my name like a plea, but I was already walking away. I’d meant what I said. I wanted Gray, and I was holding out for nothing less than the future we both deserved.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Grayson
I finally reachedmy breaking point Sunday afternoon, right in time for Maverick’s birthday party. I could have avoided the whole shindig, seeing as how I’d never felt less sociable. I thought I’d done the right thing by gifting Adler the horse, but he wanted me, not a horse. And he called me the stubborn one. Everywhere I looked, I saw reminders of him.
We could be so good.
We were. We worked well together. We’d taken care of the dogs, survived Winnie’s foaling, performed hundreds of chores, quietly hung out, and loudly fucked. Adler’s memory was everywhere, from my front steps to my bed, and the four walls of my trailer were about to suffocate me.
To the party it was. If Adler wanted me, then me he’d get. I put on my nicest shirt, gave myself one last pep talk, and headed into a gathering that was already in full swing. A large cake sat in the center of the island while a nearby table was heaped with food. A row of drink coolers sat in front of the table with all sorts of fancy-pants sparkling waters and sodas.
I ignored all the offerings and mumbled a birthday greeting to Maverick while my eyes scanned the room for Adler. For once, he wasn’t at the center of the party. Maverick roamed betweenthe kitchen and front hall while Colt, Faith, and the girls took up the couch. Various relatives of Colt’s, ranch hands, and local friends were scattered throughout the lower level of the house.
Right when I was about to give up and ask Maverick where Adler was, I spied him sitting in the padded window seat of the family room, a seldom-used area off to the side of the entertainment center that looked out on the back porch and the acres of ranch land beyond.
“Hey.” I stood in front of Adler. We were off to a smashing start, but words weren’t my strong suit.
“The food table is that way.” He gestured behind me at the kitchen. I ignored him and sat anyway. Adler released a frustrated noise. Hell if I knew what to say to make this right. However, I’d always been one to believe actions spoke louder than words.
Not letting myself overthink, I grabbed his hand, held it tightly.
“What are you doing?” Adler didn’t pull away, but he did give me a quizzical stare complete with exaggerated head tilt.
“Trying.” I gritted out the word. “Like you said earlier.”
“Oh.” Adler gave a slow blink before glancing down at our linked hands. “Your hand is shaking.” He pursed his lips. “You don’t have to?—”
“Yeah, I do.” I kept my gaze trained on his face, not at a point where I could look around and see who might have noticed us, yet not about to change course now. “I’ve got fourteen unwatchedJeopardyepisodes, two depressed dogs, and a hole in my carpet from pacing. I miss you. That’s what I should have said earlier. I miss you, and I saw that rescue horse posting and thought of you, but every damn thing makes me think of you.”
“Wow.Gray.” Expression softening, Adler squeezed my hand. “That’s quite a speech.”
“I thought maybe if I gave you the horse that I could watch you enjoy it from a distance, and that would be enough. But you won’t even give it one of your goofy-ass names. And you say you want me, not the horse. So here I am. I’m done fighting.” I slumped into the window seat, wrung out by all the words I’d managed to string together.
