Page 60 of Keep You Safe
“I’m not relapsing.” I groaned because I should have expected that reaction. The few times Maverick had seen me as a hot mess, my life had been falling apart. The rest of the time, I worked so hard to always be in a good mood that it was no wonder he was concerned. “I’m just having an off week. Can’t be happy all of the time. Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry.” Maverick rubbed my shoulder, expression staying solemn. “Sometimes the sun needs to rest behind the clouds. Honestly, it’s nice to see you being authentic for once. Maybe some sugar would help? How about a cookie?”
He slid the platter I’d set out earlier closer to us, but I didn’t reach for it.
“I don’t really like cookies.” I couldn’t be honest about what was truly bugging me, but if Maverick wanted to see me genuine, I might as well drop the mask a little further.
“What? You bake them all the time.” Maverick sounded more scandalized than if I’d removed all my clothing right there.
“For others.” I waved a hand. “People love them. I love making people happy. I’ll eat cookies, but they’re not my favorite treat.”
Maverick did a slow blink. “I’m sorry you’re having a hard week, but I feel like I just met the real Adler for the first time. You don’t like cookies. What other secrets are you holding?”
A lot.There was plenty I couldn’t share, but my brain refused to summon a dismissive response. Instead, words tumbled out of my mouth, one after another, long-suppressed truths.
“I like cheap candy, like stuff meant for kids. I’ve had enough pasta-based dishes to last a lifetime. Cheese is overrated. So are beaches. Not worth the sunblock. I like buying expensive underwear and thrifty shirts. I’m not as into that pop band as the girls think.”
“I’m taking notes.” Maverick nodded along with each item.
“I’m done,” I said primly, pausing to catch my breath.
“Nothing else you want to share, other than your highly controversial cheese opinion?” Maverick pressed.
“Nah. That’s probably enough shock for one afternoon.” While my soul yearned to confess what was truly weighing on me, I wasn’t about to out Grayson.
“Adler.” Maverick leaned in closer, forcing me to meet his gaze. “You can tell me about your bad week. You don’t have to always be the comic relief or super helpful. It’s okay to be you.”
“I know.” My voice came out in the softest of whispers. “But some things are private. Should we get back to work? Or discuss your party prep?”
“I’d rather hear about what’s making you sad.” Maverick was like Rory and Lorelei with a new toy, refusing to let me move on. “If something happened at the bunkhouse…Wait.Tell me you didn’t lose money to Motley.”
“I didn’t lose money to Motley. The bunkhouse is great. It’s…” I trailed off. I wished I could spill everything, but I couldn’t. I did, however, let go of a tiny kernel of truth. “I guess you could call it a crush on the wrong person and leave it at that.”
“Oh, Adler. You have a big heart.” Maverick gave me another pat. “Your guy is out there. I promise.”
“I’m sure.” I was sure. I was also sure I’d found my guy in Grayson. I didn’t need a pep talk to keep looking, but I’d already said too much.
“You just have to be patient.”
“Yep.” I nodded tersely. That was exactly what I was trying to do. I’d figured if I gave Grayson enough space, deprived him of my nightly presence, he’d come around, but so far, that hadn’t happened. Patience had never been my best quality, but perhaps more time was required to move the mountain that was Grayson. “What flavor of cake did you request for the party?”
“Okay, we can move on.” Maverick gave a disappointed sigh. “But for the record, I’m really relieved it’s not the ranch making you sad. I’m glad you’re staying and not simply because you’re my favorite employee.”
“I won’t tell the others.” I offered a conspiratorial smile, this one genuine. Our friendship was real, as was my desire to be on the ranch. Grayson’s stubbornness couldn’t take that away from me. “And I’m glad I’m staying too. This feels like where I belong.”
“You do belong here.” Maverick made his voice Grayson-levels of stern. “Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
“I won’t.” I meant the promise. I wasn’t going to let Grayson chase me off from a life I was coming to love. I needed him to understand that I wasn’t staying for him or even the potential of something together. I was staying forme.
Later, after Colt had returned and Maverick had stopped fussing over me, I walked back to the bunkhouse. The flicker of Grayson’s porch light called to me, as did his nearby truck. I could go to him, and as on New Year’s Eve, he likely wouldn’t turn me away. But I deserved more. Hell, we both deserved more. Secrets were no way to live. I was done pretending scraps were okay when I wanted to feast. I was also done hiding behind a well-placed smile, happy to be what others needed. It was time to be the person I needed, regardless of what happened with Grayson.
Chapter Thirty-One
Adler
My resolve hadn’t waveredby Sunday morning, which dawned as cold and lonely as the rest of February had proven to be. Working with Maverick had been keeping me busy, but I continued to try to pitch in with barn chores. Besides, stall mucking was a good distraction from Maverick’s impending birthday party, Valentine’s Day next week, and my Grayson troubles.
Of course it would be easier to forget the guy if he didn’t appear behind me right as I finished carefully changing out the bedding for Mama Fern and Winnie.
