Page 48 of Keep You Safe
“I did.” He kept his gaze on the tables full of happy guests and didn’t even turn in my direction.
“You clean up well.” Another super obvious statement, but it was true. He wore a dove-gray western dress shirt with pearl snap buttons and jeans so crisp they had to be new, along with shiny black cowboy boots. “Did you get some food?”
“Yep.”
“Good.” I was rapidly losing my ability to make small talk with him, and the frustration of needing to act like near strangers leeched into my voice.
“You’re mad at me.” He made it a statement, not a question.
“Not mad.” The lie was far easier than the truth.
“Adler.” Not surprising that Grayson saw right through me as always.
“Irritated maybe,” I allowed. “I can understand your reasons for not wanting any sort of public friendship, but I don’t have to like them.”
“Fair.” He shrugged, easy as if we were discussing the weather.
“I’m not always going to be a hand.” My voice was more pointed than a cocktail skewer. Maybe I was more than frustrated. I wanted him to look at me, really look and see all the potential we had. Reluctant as I was to move on from bunkhouse life, perhaps that was the only solution. “Maverick wants to meet soon to discuss next steps in the dude ranch plan. He’ll need more of my time on that project.”
“Appreciate the heads-up.” Grayson’s tone was maddeningly even, impossible to read. “It’s slow season, so likely we can cover your work, but I need to talk to Maverick about adding a few hands for spring and summer.”
Okay, now I truly was mad. “You missed the point entirely.”
“I heard you.” His expression was blank in keeping with his bland tone.
“And it makes no difference to you?” I kept my voice low to maintain the privacy of our conversation, but my hurt shone through the whisper.
“Still your supervisor tonight.” Grayson’s gaze had shifted to the dancefloor, where Colt was dancing with Faith. “Still hate gossip.”
“Well, I hate this.” I stamped my heel for emphasis, dangerously close to kicking him instead.
“There’s that anger,” he said mildly as he finally looked my way. His eyes were dark with sorrow and the lines around his mouth were deep canyons of regret. “And I’m sorry.”
“Not sorry enough.” I was in a petty mood, wanting him to hurt as much as I did. No way could I let him see my pain. Needing to get away, I brushed by him. “I better check the food table.”
“Adler…” He trailed off, apparently thinking better of whatever he’d been about to say. “Fine. I might as well get on home to the dogs anyhow.”
His voice was cryptic, but the message in his eyes was clear. He’d leave a light on for me. He wouldn’t dance with me, wouldn’t even spare me a friendly greeting, but he wouldn’t turn me away if I knocked on his door tonight. And I probably would. I wasn’t strong enough to stay away, but the inevitable sex wouldn’t be enough to stop the longing deep in my chest.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Grayson
“Can you hand me that screwdriver?”I asked Adler. Winter meant a chance to catch up on chores that were easy to put off in the busier summer months. Today, I was working on repairing a wonky door in the machine shed. Much as I’d prefer working alone, it was a two-person job, and as always, Adler had been quick to volunteer.
“Of course.” Despite the fact that we were alone, his tone was formal, with the stiff edge he’d had since New Year’s Eve. “Need me to steady the door?”
“Sure. Thanks.” I moved so he could come up alongside me and brace the heavy metal door, allowing me to work on the hinges. His cautious demeanor and less chatty self were entirely my fault. We were in a weird place ever since the wedding, one where we were reserved strangers during the day and desperate lovers at night.
“No problem.” Like me, Adler was avoiding the conversation we’d needed to have the past few weeks. A better man than I would find his damn spine and set Adler free instead of clinging to the late-night secret moments we shared, knowing perfectly well that he wanted more. Deserved more.
Watching Colt and Maverick get married had underscored two things for me. One, that sort of domestic happiness wasn’t for me. Maverick had practically jumped out of his skin with nerves the whole week prior. And no wonder. He was taking the biggest leap of faith a person could. His whole heart had been on display at the wedding, right there for the crushing. Which, admittedly, Colt wasn’t about to do, but the level of risk both were undertaking scared the fuck out of me.
The other thing the wedding had shown me was that Adler deserved what Maverick and Colt had. His terrible poker face meant he couldn’t disguise his longing. He wanted that sort of happy ending. And he deserved it, but not with a broken-down, cynical cowboy who didn’t trust him to stay. Adler’s happy ending would undoubtedly come in a big city, back at some glittery hotel, long after he’d tired of the cowboy life.
And that thought made me want to chew gravel.
“Fuck.” In my frustration, I damn near stripped a screw by overly tightening it.
