Page 45 of Sins of the Flesh
“Really?You haven't been the least bit curious to research and explore.”She asks cocking her head at me.
“I wouldn't know where to start, honestly.”I shrug each passing moment of this conversation is becoming more and more embarrassing.
“Hmm.”She hums stroking her chin “Wait I got it!Gay porn.”For the second time I nearly spit my coffee at her.I have never watched porn in my life.Not even out of curiosity, in fact I’ve had little interest in sex at all, until recently.
“Um I don't know if I can do that.”I say sinking in my seat a little.
“C’mon Caleb just because you're a Priest doesn't mean you're not human.And sex is the most human thing two people can do together, it's natural.”She chides.
“But porn?”I cringe.
“Just think about it,” She says, standing and squeezing my shoulder as she leaves.
Well now that she’s mentioned it I am actually thinking about it.Can I do this?I wander into my study and sit behind my desk staring at the computer screen.It feels like it's mocking me with its blank innocence.I rub my hands over my face and take a deep breath.I'm a grown man.I can make my own decisions.
With trembling fingers, I open an incognito browser.What do I even search for?My inexperience is glaring.I type "gay..."and pause, my finger hovering over the keyboard.Then I type “porn” and I feel like I’m committing a sin by pressing enter.
The results populate and the list is seemingly endless.I scroll through the options until one catches my eye “Boyfriends Romantic Fuck.”I close my eyes and click the mouse and immediately flush at the thumbnail.There are two nude men, one leaning on a window ledge while the other's face is half way hidden in his ass.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath then click play.It starts out with the two men fully clothed kissing and laughing, okay somewhat familiar territory so far.As I watch I realize I am comparing Cole to these men.They are attractive but neither of them appeal to me the way he does.With his gorgeous eyes and chiseled body.And neither has his adorable dimples when they smile.
My balls thump in my jeans and I adjust my pants.Just in time to catch one of the two men with the other's cock in his mouth.I zero in on the movements and how the man standing is caressing the others head and praising him.
The one with the cock in his mouth mumbles a moan and I’m reminded of the sweet whimpers I pulled from Cole when I kissed him.My cock starts to stiffen and I unzip my jeans to release pressure but leave it trapped in my boxers.
The man who had the cock in his mouth is now balanced on the window ledge while the other thrusts into him and the moans he is letting out is making my cock leak and pulse.
God I want to make Cole sound like that.Then something the man getting plowed says grabs my attention, “You’re hitting my prostate.”I admit to not being an anatomy major but it sounds alarming to be hitting an internal organ through anal sex.
I pause the video and do a google search.“Is it normal to hit the prostate during anal sex?”I'm surprised to find that not only is it normal, but apparently it's desirable.I click through several medical websites and educational resources, learning that the prostate is often called the "male G-spot."The thought makes my face burn even as I continue reading with rapt attention.
According to these sites, stimulating the prostate can cause intense pleasure.I think about Cole, about how he responded when I touched him, how his body tensed and relaxed under my hands.Could I make him feel even better?The idea sends heat through my core.
I return to the video with new understanding, watching more intently now.The way the man's back arches when his partner thrusts at a certain angle, the uninhibited sounds he makes, it's educational in ways I never expected.I find myself taking mental notes, imagining Cole's reactions if I were to try these things.
My hand drifts to my boxers like it’s got a mind of its own, and I’m so hard it's nearly painful.My cock’s straining against the cotton, throbbing like it’s begging for attention, and I can feel the heat of it radiating through the fabric.
I hesitate for a second, my heart pounding in my chest, am I doing this?Slipping my hand inside and wrapping my fingers around my shaft.Jesus Christ, it’s like I’m touching myself for the first time, my skin’s on fire, and every stroke sends electric shocks straight to my balls.At forty-four, I’m discovering my own body all over again, and it’s a revelation.
On the screen, the two men are going at it like animals, their bodies slick with sweat, muscles flexing as they move in perfect sync.One’s got his hands gripping the other’s hips, slamming into him with a rhythm that’s making my head spin.
I stroke myself faster, matching their pace, my breath hitching in my throat as I feel the pressure building in my gut.My cock’s leaking pre-cum, and I smear it down my shaft with my thumb, the slickness making every pull smoother, hotter.
When they climax, it’s explosive, one of them lets out a guttural moan as he spills all over the other’s chest, and the sight of it pushes me over the edge.I’m cumming hard, my cock pulsing in my hand as I shoot ropes of cum all over my stomach.My groan echoes in the empty study, raw and unfiltered, and I collapse back in my chair, my chest heaving as I try to catch my breath.
When it’s finally over, I sit there in stunned silence, my cock still twitching in my hand.I grab a handful of tissues from the desk drawer and clean myself up, my hands trembling as I wipe the mess off my skin.
The guilt that tries to creep in on me, sounding a lot like my fathers voice, tells me I’ll go to hell for this.But I already know for Cole I’ll gladly burn.
Twenty-Four
Cole
Whistle - Flo Rida
T
oday, I have been reviewing the plans for the kitchen and my eyes are burning from staring for so long; the project is on hold because the walls and ceiling have been damaged by water leaks, which a contractor has to repair before construction and renovations can begin.Due to the electrical wiring in the walls this job has me sidelined and I find it very frustrating.
