Page 25 of Sins of the Flesh
"It's okay," Caleb whispers, his voice low and husky.In the dim light from the headlamp around his neck, I can just make out the intense look in his eyes.
“T-the breakers aren't working” I stutter, trying to sound calm despite my shaky voice.Caleb reaches for his phone in his pocket and clearing his throat says,
“I'll call the power company.”He remains in the doorway, blocking my only way out.
"Okay," I nod, my voice barely audible.Caleb fumbles with his phone, the light dancing across his face as he pulls up a browser to look up the phone number for the power company, concentration etched on his forehead.I can't keep my eyes off of the way the shadows play across his strong jawline and the curve of his lips.
Suddenly, Caleb looks up, catching me watching him.Our eyes lock, and the air between us seems to crackle with electricity.My breath catches in my throat as Caleb takes a small step closer, closing what little distance remained between us.
"Cole," he murmurs, his voice low and rough.I can see his freehand hovering above my cheek out of the corner of my eye.Beep!Beep!Beep!The sound of an emergency alert sounds loudly on both of our phones causing us to jump apart.Caleb looks at the notice on his phone screen.
“It's a tornado warning everyone is being advised to take shelter.”He reads, and fear slices through me.
“Mom!I gotta get to her.”I move to step past him and he stops me grabbing onto my wrist.
“There's no time Cole.Come with me, you can call her from my storm cellar.”Not waiting for my reply he drags me through the fellowship hall and out the back door of the kitchen.
We pass through a gate and round his small house to a heavy wooden door held in place by a piece of wood braced in hooks on either side.Caleb removes the wood and motions me to go ahead of him.
Using my flashlight I move down the stairs and clear a passageway into a dark cool space.Caleb steps past me and clicks on a lantern that illuminates a small cellar with a mattress on the floor, a table and chairs and shelves with cans of food and stacks of games.On the table is a wireless radio and another lantern.
Frantically I dial my moms number, a busy signal beeps in my ear “Fuck!”I dial again then three more times only getting a busy signal.Slumping into the wood chair at the table I rake both my hands through my hair panic rising in my chest.I fucking hate tornados “Shit!”A frustrated growl crawls up my throat.
A warm palm covers my hand and tilting my head I see Caleb’s warm eyes and I break.Since my dad’s passing the fear of losing my mom has tormented me silently but in times like this the torment is much louder and being stuck in this cellar, I am powerless to protect the one person that means everything to me in this world.
I don't know if I curl into his arms or if he pulls me into his arms but that is where I find myself sobbing for several minutes, Caleb stroking my back and whispering soothing words.After a long while I pull away sniffling and sit in the chair laying my head on my arm.The reality of where I find myself dawns on me and I am suddenly very uncomfortable.
“Um…I’ll stay over here.”I mutter pushing my back into the wall as much as I can.
“What do you mean?”Caleb asks, his brows furrowed.
“I’m not going to get into your space, you don't have to worry.”It comes out in a cracked whisper.I have been desperate to talk to him all these months and it kills me that this is the conversation.
“Worry?”Confusion colors his shadowed face.
“Yea because I’m gay and I make you uncomfortable.”I say trying to hide my pain with sarcasm.Caleb looks like I hit him in the face as he lowers himself to the chair across from me.
“Cole.”He breathes, reaching across the table as if he wants to grab my hand but doesn't.“I don't have a problem with you being gay.”
“That's why you've been avoiding me though because I got too close and…” the lump creeping up my throat cuts off my words.Now Caleb is raking his hands through his hair with a deep sigh.
“No, Cole, that has nothing to do with it at all.”
“So you admit you've been avoiding me.”Catching his gaze with mine, I challenge him to come clean.If it isn't what I thought which is a huge relief, then what?
“It has nothing to do with you Cole honestly and I’m sorry you thought it did I just…just, it's personal.”He sighs, his shoulders slumping.
“Can I make it up to you?”He asks and I raise my eyebrow in question.“Baked beans and Uno or another game, we have a bunch down here.”His hesitant smile doesn't reach his eyes and I realize that he's really trying.
After months of avoidance, he's extending another olive branch.Maybe he has his reasons for pulling away.I'm still hurt, but I'm also trapped in a storm cellar with him, and my anxiety about my mom is eating me alive.
"Yeah, okay," I mutter, wiping my face with the back of my hand."But I'll kick your ass at Uno."
The ghost of a real smile touches his lips."We'll see about that."
While Caleb heats up the beans on a small camping stove, I try my mom's number again.Still busy.Frustration and fear knot in my stomach."The lines are probably jammed," Caleb says, setting a steaming bowl in front of me."Here, eat something.It'll help."I look up at him, and for a brief moment, it's like I can see the real Caleb again, the one I've missed for months.
"Thanks," I say, accepting the bowl.Our fingers brush, and I try not to react.The beans are surprisingly good for canned food, and I realize how hungry I am.We eat in silence for a few minutes, the only sounds are the howling wind above us and the occasional crash that makes me flinch.
