Page 43 of Saving Grace
“Atta girl, Gracie. Keep breathing for me. Just like that.”
Chapter 20
Leila
Ifight with myself as Drew continues staring at me, my inner demons screaming louder than common sense. His gaze burns through me, seeing past all the walls I’ve built over the years. The nightmares, the panic attacks, the dream chasing, the hopes and fears. He’s been there through it all until the last year. He knows me on a level no one else ever could.
“Leila,” he calls again, a little push of dominance in his tone, his posture widening.
I glance up cautiously, wrapping my arms around myself.
“Say it out loud, sunshine.” His voice is softer now, almost a whisper. His body inches closer, forehead almost to mine. “Tell me you aren’t okay, and I will do everything in my power to make it better.”
I shake my head. “I’m not,” I whisper, nearly inaudible.
“What was that?” he asks. “I can’t hear you.”
“I am not okay,” I mumble a little louder, pinpricks in my eyes threatening to unleash even more tears after I’d just dried the last round. Those four words create the most terrifying sentence I’ve uttered since becoming a mother.
“Own it, Leila.” His body now looms over me, determination and something like adoration filling his gaze.
That look breaks through the splintering walls I’ve kept up since coming back to Havenwood. I push off the stool with enough force that it slams against the underside of the counter. My hands shove into Drew’s chest, willing and ready to shove him back as well as I cry out in frustration.
“I’m not okay, okay? I. Am. Broken. I haven’t slept in months. My own daughter would rather snuggle up with her uncle than with me unless it’s to eat. And I apparently still can’t walk past my stepdad’s old house without triggering a stupid panic attack.” I huff a few breaths as I get that off my chest. The new round of tears finally wins when I look up into those midnight-blue eyes as they overflow with compassion. “I’m not okay, Drew,” I whisper, my chin quivering.
His long, calloused fingers grip my chin gently. “No, you aren’t. And that is perfectly okay.” Drew’s thumb swipes up, ridding my face of tears. He never takes his eyes off of mine. In that moment, all of my fears, all the anxiety, disappear. There are no thoughts. Just instinct as I reach up on tiptoes and close the small distance between us, my lips finding his like they always used to.
To his credit, Drew doesn’t hesitate or shy away, immediately taking control of the kiss. His lips are soft, the pressure just firm enough, slightly parted as his tongue darts out to swipe along my lower lip. I fall into the sensation of being held by the only man I’ve ever loved. The only one I’ve ever had an emotional connection with.
My hands travel around his back, caressing the muscles there as they play under my fingertips. I’m careful to avoid the material of the brace that’s holding his left arm steady. Instead, I drop my fingers to the hem of his shirt and caress the skin just above his belt.
He groans and takes a step back, hands still gripping my hips. “Easy, Gracie.”
I shudder at the sound of the old nickname on his lips but drop my hands, his words striking through my unusual carelessness. I tuck a section of hair behind my ear and take a step backward, suddenly unable to look at the man I’d just been lip-locked with.
“Don’t do that,” he says, pulling me back to him so we nearly touch front to front.
“Do what?”
“Shut down on me.” He slips one hand around to rest on my lower back. “I’m trying my damnedest to remain a gentleman here, but I forgot how complicated you can make that.”
My cheeks flare at his words.
A cheeky grin tugs at Drew’s lips as he finally steps back and readjusts himself. “You’re cute when you blush.”
Tucking my chin, I don’t know what to say, so I change the subject. “I need to go pick up Kaia. Gavin’s been watching her for me today since my feelings felt too big for my body. Felt like my skin was going to split open for the world to see.”
“Pretty sure that’s who’s been blowing up my phone.”
“What?”
“Yeah, it’s been vibrating in my back pocket for the last few minutes.”
I groan as I run a hand roughly over my face while Drew answers his phone.
“Hey, man…No, she’s with me. We’re headed that way in just a few minutes…See you then.” He hangs up and sets the phone on the counter.
Those blue orbs study me as if he can see straight through me. When I still don’t say anything, he sighs, settling against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest. The move pulls his shirt tight, his ink peeking out from under the sleeves.
