Page 6 of Saving Grace
He and I lock into a stare down, the same dark-blue eyes staring back at each other, neither brother speaking for a time.I don’t know what he sees in my expression, but Declan’s eyes finally soften.
“Empty your pockets, bro. Prove me wrong.”
That itchy, too-tight feeling is back, squeezing at my chest. I’d love to tell my big brother to shove off, prove to him that I’m a big boy who can handle problems on his own.
But I can’t.
I spin away from Declan, my fist connecting with the frame of my bedroom door, wood cracking at the contact. I lean my forehead against the now damaged door, my eyes clenched tight as I try to regain control of my emotions.
“Come on, buddy. You’ve made it almost six months. Don’t throw that away.”
Feeling sick—and hating myself more than a little—I rip the pill from my pocket and step into the bathroom, immediately flushing it down the toilet before melting to the floor, my back against the wall. My breaths are shaky, all energy gone. I lean my head back against the gray-tiled wall as Declan sits beside me.
“I wasn’t going to take it,” I whisper after a few tense moments of silence.
“Glad to hear it. You wanna talk about why you kept it, then?” he asks just as softly. Before my head even moves, he’s jumping in. “If you aren’t gonna talk to me, talk to Kristen.”
A mix of anxiety, irritation, and guilt swirls in my gut. Another instance of small-town life coming to bite me in the ass since his wife is the only mental health professional within a thirty-mile radius.
“Declan, no. I’m not talking to your wife about this.”
“Either talk to her, talk to me, or we talk to mom and dad together.”
“That’s messed up.”
“So is hiding pills.”
I shake my head, running calloused fingers through my mess of black hair. “Mom doesn’t need the worry, and Dad can’t know. He’d pull me from the training rides, and I need the saddle time. Please.” I’m not above begging. I’d drop to my knees if I wasn’t already on the bathroom floor.
I can’t lose the extra rides, the freedom. I just got back in the saddle a month ago and am still dealing with limitations and lack of strength in core areas. I need both the adrenaline high and the mental stillness those four-legged creatures provide.
Declan sighs. “Okay, Kristen said she’ll be waiting on you first thing tomorrow.”
Incredulous, I stare at him. “You already talked to her.”
He nods, unashamed.
I curse.
“She was with me when Jace called. But that brings me to why I was already on my way out the door to talk to you. Now, though, I’m questioning if I should even tell you.”
“What, it wasn’t just a wellness check?” I joke, but the humor falls flat as I take in my brother’s expression. “What, man?”
“Did Leila ever contact you?”
I shrug. “She left a voicemail or two. A text here and there. I never listened to them. Why?”
He stares at me, and I think I’m going to have to press him for the information, but the look he gives me halts me in my tracks.
“Leila and Gavin came in a day early. Along with her seven-week-old daughter.Yourdaughter, Drew.”
Chapter 3
Leila
Five in the morning is peaceful in Havenwood.
No cars on the street rushing to beat big city traffic.
