Page 5 of Saving Grace
I’ve already seen rock bottom. Rather not make a second trip.
Jace places his other hand on my arm in encouragement. “Come on, man.”
With a deep, forced breath, I drop the pills into his awaiting hand. Watching him pocket the baggy tightens something inmy chest, something I haven’t felt in months. Welp, guess that therapy appointment won’t be canceled this week. There’s too much shit I need to work out, anyway, what with the changes coming our way. Things in Havenwood are about to get a hell of a lot more interesting.
“Why don’t you head home. I’ll swing by and check in as soon as all my workers get here.”
I shake my head but stand and start for the door. “You don’t need to. I’ll be fine,” I lie, knowing I’ll fight this feeling well into the morning. Infinite experience with it has proven it won’t go away with time.
“Call me if you need me,” he concedes, and I know he knows I’m not being honest with either of us. Before I can open the door, he pulls me into an unexpected hug, his massive body engulfing mine.
“Don’t make me have to beat your ass,” he says, meaning every word. “And grab those fries from the window on your way out.”
I nod, emotions too heavy to speak. Sometimes, when you’ve been friends as long as we have, words aren’t needed.
***
Dusk is settling in by the time my boots hit the sidewalk. I slowly make the trek home on foot, the thought of what comes next weighing heavily on me. At least the smell of Buck’s loaded chicken fries is a small comfort. Extremely small. Miniscule.
Ah, hell. Nothing can comfort me right now.
Ten months ago, I ruined the best relationship I could ever hope to have. The girl of my dreams, too. Leila Barrett has been through hell and back time and time again, but she always manages to bounce back stronger. More determined. Unstoppable.
And I shattered her heart, tucked tail, and ran back to Georgia like the coward I am.
Two weeks later, I swung my leg over the back of an unbroke stud colt while more than a little inebriated. It ended with emotional trauma for the horse and catastrophic damage to my collarbone and shoulder blade, requiring multiple surgeries, hardware, and physical therapy. A couple hairline spinal fractures luckily healed up on their own. Now my lumbar area twinges with occasional muscle spasms, and stretches are daily routine if I want to use my core muscles.
The last thing on my mind was making amends with the girl whose heart I shattered. She deserved better. She deserves better. But she’s moving to Havenwood, back to her home town. Here. And it has me second-guessing every decision I’ve made since walking out of her hotel room that rainy October day.
I fish keys out of my back pocket while making my way up the winding metal staircase that connects my apartment to the open gym floor. Once inside, I toss the keys and my phone onto the counter then strip my shirt and grab an ice pack from the freezer, gently settling it over my shoulder. The minute I sit in my recliner, a knock sounds at the door.
“Go away!” I yell, already knowing who it is without checking. Should’ve known better than to trust that Jace wouldn’t call Declan the minute I left. The lock flicks a second before the door opens, my brother’s annoying face filling the doorframe.
“I locked that for a reason.”
“And I unlocked it for a reason, little brother.” He closes the door behind him before leaning against it, crossing one dusty brown cowboy boot over the other as he kicks back like he owns the place.
“I need new friends,” I grumble halfheartedly. Our brotherhood is still a bit rocky since everything that happened. I blame myself—because I’m the jackass who made stupid choices—but my brother still shoulders some of the guilt for everything that followed his hotel room interruption in Tennessee.
“You have friends who care. That’s more than a lot of guys can say.”
I push out of my recliner and throwing the icepack haphazardly on the floor in my frustration, storming further into my loft. I’d love to escape his proximity, but my living space is only so big.
“He’s worried about you,” Declan calls after me. “And quite frankly, so am I.”
“I’m fine.”
“I’m a married man who knows better than to believe that four letter word, no matter the mouth it comes out of.”
I scoff, turning my focus to folding the clothes on my bed instead of watching my brother study me. I’m tired of everyone looking so closely. Always looking for the weakest point to poke and prod to see if I’ll fall again. “Watch out, the addict might crumble under pressure.”
I can see Declan nod in my periphery, and it causes heat to creep up my neck at the embarrassment of it all. The sarcasm clearly didn’t take.
“You know as well as anyone what this is, Drew. You’re struggling with Leila coming back to town, with what that means for the both of you.” He continues to stare as I put my clothes away, my attempt at ignoring him not phasing him in the slightest. Then he hits me where it hurts, his words nearly collapsing me on the spot. “I know there’s still at least one pain pill in your pocket, kid.”
My entire body freezes, air wheezing from my lungs. “You’re out of your mind,” I choke out.
“Don’t bullshit a bullshitter.”
